(no subject)
I've felt an alarming, strong sense of incompetence. The type you feel cannot be overcome, despite the fact that people tell you optimism overcomes any form of anxiety. It's that type of feeling- like when you're trying to come up with that one word that can perfectly describe a moment, but the word just won't come to mind for the life of you. When you feel that even though you might not have those book smarts, even your street smarts still don't measure up enough to keep you surviving in the real world. When all original thought is inhumed six feet under the ground. When motivation kicked the bucket. When the people around you feel disconnected, embraced in their own responsibilities that matter more than your relationship. When corporations convince you that numbers weigh your intellectual capacity. When you're sick to the point of immobility, forgetting what it's like to walk and swallow property. When billboards scream the message of "Love yourself, even though society finds you aesthetically repulsive!" When the only real connection to anything you have is literature.
You pick up again.
And you commit yourself to the idea that it's possible.
And summarizing what a good friend once told me: The most important thing you can ever do is realize that you need to be able to be happy with the sole fact that you exist- and love yourself. That's the ultimate goal. Anything else can't touch you then. And when something bad happens, you tackle it. And you ask- is that all you've got, God?
You pick up again.
And you commit yourself to the idea that it's possible.
And summarizing what a good friend once told me: The most important thing you can ever do is realize that you need to be able to be happy with the sole fact that you exist- and love yourself. That's the ultimate goal. Anything else can't touch you then. And when something bad happens, you tackle it. And you ask- is that all you've got, God?