Funny shit you get from your mom in email....

Jan 29, 2006 15:05

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed

that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a

lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other

programs and now monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run

my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend

7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User

(KEEP READING)

_____________________________________

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it

is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an

OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend

7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the

system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to

not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under

Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep! Wife1.0 and

work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background

application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because

ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the

system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep

3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will

cause the system to launch the program Nag 9.5 . Once this

happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to

Purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With

Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will

cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support
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