Editorial - Western Women and their attitudes
This is a response I wrote to a discussion on Craigslist Chicago about men who prefer young Asian women over Midwest (USA) divorcees.......
I find this discussion about mid western white women to be very interesting and I can't resist sharing some comments from my experience.
PLEASE NOTE: These comments are from my experience and not meant to definitively represent "all" of any race, sex or socio-economic situation.
The white women that I have dated in the last few years seem to have one common trait: they are very demanding/entitled of what they desire but ironically place very little value on anyone/anything that they do not have a personal investment in.
By FAR the most extreme example that I have encountered of this would be the reasonably attractive, professional, divorced, north shore woman over 35 with 2+ children living at home.
I, and other single men that I know over 40 have been frustrated trying to date women in this socio-economic and age group. These women largely SAY that they want a devoted relationship with a man, but their lives are very over committed by such things as indulging their children EVERY thing that they ask for (and or demand), on going issues with their ex husbands, career, personal growth (IE: pursuing an advanced degree, 1-2 hours per day at the gym, yoga, etc.), 2-3 nights out per week with "girlfriends" and many more things that I could name.
Taken individually these things are GOOD (perhaps it's not good over indulging the children because this can lead to lack of personal responsibility later in life for the child, but I digress); however I feel that if women in the general group that I have described would sit down and logically look at their commitments in an average week; they would find that frequently there is no real time left for a quality relationship with a man!
If this is the lifestyle that you wish to have, more power to you- but STOP leading men on who are looking for a committed and dedicated relationship! If you want to have your children, career, family, personal growth, etc to all be co number one and realistically a romance is a low priority, just BE HONEST with anyone who pursues you. Sure it feels good to be asked out and flattered with attention and gifts but if you KNOW it's not going anywhere be honest and say, "I need to be honest that I have no time or desire for a relationship given what's going on in my life".
For the love of all that is holy, please STOP posting W4M/Match.com/True/etc. ads that state you are 40, have 4 kids at home, working 2 jobs, a "little" overweight, "most people say that I look younger" and that you feel that you DESERVE a specific perfect man to accept and "be into" ALL of "your" lifestyle choices! I feel that it is only right that women accept responsibility and be realistic about the things that would come "along with" you in a potential relationship and stop behaving like a martyr about the situation that you have chosen to be in.
Just so that there is no misunderstanding; I feel that being a single working mother due to whatever reason is a difficult job. That having been said, being a parent is a conscious choice and one that individuals should accept responsibility for. Additional lifestyle choices that you choose are solely your business and it is wrong to demand that society grant you special considerations for a lifestyle that you have chosen.
FAR too many women that I know behave as if they were kidnapped at gunpoint in the "flower of their youth" AND beaten / abused into subjugation AND sold into marital slavery AND repeatedly impregnated against their will AND on the eve of your 30th birthday tossed aside by their "husbands" with no consideration for you or the children (insert heart breaking story about "him" running off with a 20-something Buxom Bimbo at the onset of your hot flashes and or mood swings here). I would feel that FEW women actually have been subjected to this scenario in Western society and I cannot fathom why so many women feel that they have been victimized in this manner.
I feel this is the attitude that single/divorced professional men over 30 are sick and tired of and also why you see the harsh comments here about divorced women. Men dislike not knowing where they stand and also can't bear the feeling that their efforts to pursue a woman are not appreciated. YES this is male "ego", but it's hard wired into the "old brain" and not something that can be changed. This is an area where (in my experience) Asian women excel- they place a relationship with a man that is pursuing them at a higher priority and give tangible appreciation for the effort that the man is making. Asian women understand that the male ego can be "played to" rather than wasting effort by bitterly complaining about behavior that is natural for a male.
I feel that Western professional men are attracted to Asian females not by subservient behavior; but rather because Asian women seem to appreciate gestures being made toward them and largely are not as self-serving and situationally unaware as the Western DWPF's that I speak of.