nature vs nurture
I was thinking about this yesterday just as I was drifting to sleep.
I remember blogging quite wonderfully in my head but I can't do it now that my thoughts are almost one day old.
Anyway, I'll try.
I know many people would snort, stifle a giggle, roll their eyes when I say that I am a naturally reserved, self-conscious person. That's because the me they know now seem to exude confidence and talk loudly and laugh like a heyena.
But little do they know that I was once picked on in primary school. I was from the netball school team & there was a group of girls who ousted me. I know I've mentioned this before. But I didn't mention that I didn't retaliate. Preferring to remain low profile, I just kept my head down. I have been on the receiving end of name calling and teasing (a boy pulled my chair away from behind when I sat down and my bum hit the floor like a brick). I didn't complain to the teacher though she saw it and punished him haa!
It didn't help that I grew up in a rather sheltered environment. I think it may have something to do with my mum's early demise. I'm not complaining of cos. It's just that had I indulged in hiding under the skirts of my grandma and aunts (ok, my gran never wears a skirt but you get my drift), I would have grown into a weakling suckling pig. I didn't like to report my whereabouts and I didn't like all the fussing.
Instead, I rebelled. I stayed back after school to play zero point and ate mamee snacks for dinner. My gran went to school to catch me a few times and my aunt demanded I sever ties with the friend I hung out with.
Not a chance!
My dad had such a poker hot temper; he once locked me out the door because I went to the nearby market to meet a friend till late. Ppfft! He even told gran not to let me in. Seriously, pop??
I didn't pick up the "bad" stuff like smoking and i kept my grades ok so I don't think I was a bad kid.
I remember trying out a ciggie or two at home cos I didn't understand why my dad smoked so much. I didn't enjoy it. I would rather eat mamee.
I built a hard shell to protect the potential weak-ee me. I am very much like my zodiac sign the crab, I guess.
I do not think I am indeed very strong because many people have gone through worse and emerged much better. But I think I did nurture myself so that I would be self-reliant and brave. And I learnt to pretend to be brave, even if I am not.
So, I strongly believe that nurturing someone is very important. My folks tell me that I was a reserved child even though I was a rascal, so I'm backed up on that I was indeed an introvert.
J knows me pretty well though and he said that he can tell I'm not naturally an extrovert.
So what's the moral of the story? Nothing, I guess. I just love to tell stories. :)
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