(no subject)
reflections 2010
-went kl in feb, gokarting (:
-went hk/macau in may, lost luggage, virgin experience w choutoufu, venetian hotel
-world cup fever in june
-started on IG desk in july
-failed attempt to redang w niners
-broke up w alex in aug
-watched the f1 in sept
-went bkk in oct, got to know j and i really cherish this friendship because i learned so much from him
-xmas/birthday was a blast (:
relationship
2010 was a bad year but towards the end became a blessing in disguise. mainly revolving my failed relationship. alex and i finally broken up. and it wasnt a very easy decision. he chose to leave me and as much as i want him back badly he didnt care. well i guess this relationship wasnt even supposed to start in the first place. a span of 2years, things started to turn sour 6mths into the relationship. i was possessive, insecure, and because of all the quarrels had low self esteem and confidence. we quarrelled over everything and anything. and no matter who's right who's wrong i had to apologize and beg him to forgive me. im surprised we could last 2years. if i have to answer the why question, i would say i stupidly thought that i could change and that will make things better. and i can also try to change him. but apparently, that is so naive thinking. because things can only be better if i change sincerely, change from my heart. but i didnt, i was bearing grudges as i change, i was feeling so 'buganyuan' as i change. and one thing i realized, don bother to try change someone, because he will never change. or unless he loves you badly enough.
i guess everyone had their fair share of heartbreaks. mine happened this year, the worst one. since aug 29 ie the breakup, i started drinking day in day out, 5days a week. got drunk most of the time. i was devastated even though i looked so fine in front of friends. i think im handling it quite well now.. i guess after i realize how fun singlehood can be, and how badly i have been treated in the past, i slowly got over things. i know i deserve someone better, alex had been treating me like fck, it's time for me to save myself from the torture and find someone much better and who treat me much better. now im happy, im still afraid to get into a relationship, afraid of commitments and all. but im happy with my life now.
motivation in life
after a good long bkk trip, and watching/read eat pray love, i suddenly found my new passion - traveling. i realize how unexposed i am while being stuck in freaking small singapore. i want to travel, i want to see the world, i don want to be tied down in singapore just because of commitments and because doing that is against the norm. i don want to care about how people think. and because this is sth i can only do when im young, i want to do it soon. when i get older, my opportunity cost gets higher and my commitments get more and more, i'll never be able to do it. and i know if i want it bad enough, i will do it. i am really proud of myself for discovering this new side of me (:
this year is actually a boring/bad year for me. im glad its gonna be over in no time..
resolutions 2011
1. lose all the weight i've gained over the past 4mths post breakup within a mth. i need to brace up and realize being fat is a NO NO!
2. seriously look into my drinking problem. drink at MOST twice a week, best to keep it once a week. and whenever i drink, pace myself so i wouldnt get drunk so easily.
3. work hard, proactive to get prices @ work. i need to really show some results because so far IG is freaking not earning money.
4. go for at least 3 holiday trips (2 already decided. cambodia/vietnam in feb, bali in july)
5. will not make myself unhappy. priority is my happiness, not others'.
6. learn how to cook! try to cook say twice a month!
7. save at least $1k for future and $500 for traveling every month. aim at $20k a year and i get $2k (from darance haha)
8. treat mum to a holiday trip
9. get a christmas tree
10. remove my mole
11. don be afraid to love
-went kl in feb, gokarting (:
-went hk/macau in may, lost luggage, virgin experience w choutoufu, venetian hotel
-world cup fever in june
-started on IG desk in july
-failed attempt to redang w niners
-broke up w alex in aug
-watched the f1 in sept
-went bkk in oct, got to know j and i really cherish this friendship because i learned so much from him
-xmas/birthday was a blast (:
relationship
2010 was a bad year but towards the end became a blessing in disguise. mainly revolving my failed relationship. alex and i finally broken up. and it wasnt a very easy decision. he chose to leave me and as much as i want him back badly he didnt care. well i guess this relationship wasnt even supposed to start in the first place. a span of 2years, things started to turn sour 6mths into the relationship. i was possessive, insecure, and because of all the quarrels had low self esteem and confidence. we quarrelled over everything and anything. and no matter who's right who's wrong i had to apologize and beg him to forgive me. im surprised we could last 2years. if i have to answer the why question, i would say i stupidly thought that i could change and that will make things better. and i can also try to change him. but apparently, that is so naive thinking. because things can only be better if i change sincerely, change from my heart. but i didnt, i was bearing grudges as i change, i was feeling so 'buganyuan' as i change. and one thing i realized, don bother to try change someone, because he will never change. or unless he loves you badly enough.
i guess everyone had their fair share of heartbreaks. mine happened this year, the worst one. since aug 29 ie the breakup, i started drinking day in day out, 5days a week. got drunk most of the time. i was devastated even though i looked so fine in front of friends. i think im handling it quite well now.. i guess after i realize how fun singlehood can be, and how badly i have been treated in the past, i slowly got over things. i know i deserve someone better, alex had been treating me like fck, it's time for me to save myself from the torture and find someone much better and who treat me much better. now im happy, im still afraid to get into a relationship, afraid of commitments and all. but im happy with my life now.
motivation in life
after a good long bkk trip, and watching/read eat pray love, i suddenly found my new passion - traveling. i realize how unexposed i am while being stuck in freaking small singapore. i want to travel, i want to see the world, i don want to be tied down in singapore just because of commitments and because doing that is against the norm. i don want to care about how people think. and because this is sth i can only do when im young, i want to do it soon. when i get older, my opportunity cost gets higher and my commitments get more and more, i'll never be able to do it. and i know if i want it bad enough, i will do it. i am really proud of myself for discovering this new side of me (:
this year is actually a boring/bad year for me. im glad its gonna be over in no time..
resolutions 2011
1. lose all the weight i've gained over the past 4mths post breakup within a mth. i need to brace up and realize being fat is a NO NO!
2. seriously look into my drinking problem. drink at MOST twice a week, best to keep it once a week. and whenever i drink, pace myself so i wouldnt get drunk so easily.
3. work hard, proactive to get prices @ work. i need to really show some results because so far IG is freaking not earning money.
4. go for at least 3 holiday trips (2 already decided. cambodia/vietnam in feb, bali in july)
5. will not make myself unhappy. priority is my happiness, not others'.
6. learn how to cook! try to cook say twice a month!
7. save at least $1k for future and $500 for traveling every month. aim at $20k a year and i get $2k (from darance haha)
8. treat mum to a holiday trip
9. get a christmas tree
10. remove my mole
11. don be afraid to love