Depression is over!
I got on antidepressants, which lots of people said do work, but lots of people told me don't work either. It doesn't matter either way, because for me they did, and life is wonderful. I can actually CONCENTRATE on stuff now, and I don't burst into tears for no reason, and I'm very happy with my life. I don't even have to take sleeping pills to go to sleep anymore either, I can sleep on my own. ^^ I actually feel like my old self again. The self that I didn't think was actually me anymore, but my childhood self; but really it IS me, and I know that now. I just thought I grew out of happiness, but I'm hyper and excited and thrilled to be alive and to give my happiness to others.
Me and Scott are still not dating anymore, even though he bugs me to be with him all the time. He's been stopping over time since he knows it bugs me a lot. The funny thing is, even though Scott treats me way better than Aron does, I'm happier with Aron. Maybe I'm kwayzee. I think part of it is, for like the first time, I actually really care more about someone else than I do about myself. I always try my best to make other people happy, but I've never felt so strong and excited to put all my life into making him happy. To be honest I would be fine if he didn't want to be with me anymore at any point, so long as he was upfront about it and didn't lead me on or anything. I want him to be happy the most, I love him so much. So if he wants to be with some other girl, then I want to support him with whatever I can do. Sometimes I wish Scott respected my want to be with Aron in that same way, but I know it's silly of me to ask that of someone. I've tried explaining it, but Scott doesn't understand... it hurts him a lot that I should want to be with Aron when he doesn't treat me great, and I know that. It's a tiring situation and everything has been making me nervous lately, but right now as things are I think things have kind of evened out. I'm happy with where I am, I hope Aron is too, and I know Scott has at least accepted my decision for the time being. Things are okay.
I've been feeling kind of inspired again to start a website. The desire for doing it stirs up in me a lot, it was so fun. The damn browser compatibility is what always scares me away, but fuck Firefox users. >.< You're too difficult to manage, fools! So I think I'm gonna retry my hand at a site of some sort. Screw everyone who doesn't use IE. =) But I don't know, I doubt I actually will. I'm still kind of upset from losing all my old Nekopop files. So many of my favourite layouts, my works, my designs, all gone. My blog too, was definately hard to deal with having lost all the archives, layouts mainly, but entries too. Oh well.
I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing!
During the time I used to be really close to Marco I used to listen to this song, since it was one of my favourites at the time. Everytime I listen to it my first thoughts are of running around with him in like, Westfall. I miss him. >.< I don't know where he went, or why, and I wish we were on better terms when he disappeared from me. I loved his advice, and I valued his friendship with all my heart... and I wish I could have told him that while I still could. /sigh
But life goes on, yes? Indeed it does. It always does.
Me and Scott are still not dating anymore, even though he bugs me to be with him all the time. He's been stopping over time since he knows it bugs me a lot. The funny thing is, even though Scott treats me way better than Aron does, I'm happier with Aron. Maybe I'm kwayzee. I think part of it is, for like the first time, I actually really care more about someone else than I do about myself. I always try my best to make other people happy, but I've never felt so strong and excited to put all my life into making him happy. To be honest I would be fine if he didn't want to be with me anymore at any point, so long as he was upfront about it and didn't lead me on or anything. I want him to be happy the most, I love him so much. So if he wants to be with some other girl, then I want to support him with whatever I can do. Sometimes I wish Scott respected my want to be with Aron in that same way, but I know it's silly of me to ask that of someone. I've tried explaining it, but Scott doesn't understand... it hurts him a lot that I should want to be with Aron when he doesn't treat me great, and I know that. It's a tiring situation and everything has been making me nervous lately, but right now as things are I think things have kind of evened out. I'm happy with where I am, I hope Aron is too, and I know Scott has at least accepted my decision for the time being. Things are okay.
I've been feeling kind of inspired again to start a website. The desire for doing it stirs up in me a lot, it was so fun. The damn browser compatibility is what always scares me away, but fuck Firefox users. >.< You're too difficult to manage, fools! So I think I'm gonna retry my hand at a site of some sort. Screw everyone who doesn't use IE. =) But I don't know, I doubt I actually will. I'm still kind of upset from losing all my old Nekopop files. So many of my favourite layouts, my works, my designs, all gone. My blog too, was definately hard to deal with having lost all the archives, layouts mainly, but entries too. Oh well.
I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezing!
During the time I used to be really close to Marco I used to listen to this song, since it was one of my favourites at the time. Everytime I listen to it my first thoughts are of running around with him in like, Westfall. I miss him. >.< I don't know where he went, or why, and I wish we were on better terms when he disappeared from me. I loved his advice, and I valued his friendship with all my heart... and I wish I could have told him that while I still could. /sigh
But life goes on, yes? Indeed it does. It always does.