Fanfiction and icecream...
I'm ashamed of myself, today. All I've done is read fanfiction and eat icecream. I'm sure I gained about 20 pounds in my first hour of sitting and reading J-Rock smut. Ah, but i suppose it was woth it because I found a Kiyoharu fanfiction! I'm such a weeb for Kiyoharu. Oh, how I miss the SADS/ Kuroyume days. But mosty the SADS days becuase they were so kick-ass.
And I missed school yestersay! It wasn't really that I was sick, I just knew that I was at my emotional limit and would probably have a panic attack or something at school. Yup, so I feigned illness. It seems I've been coming to my emotional limit very quickly, lately. I just don't have the energy to deal with anything. I wonder whats wrong with me. I've really changed a lot this year. I don't find things as amusing as I used to, find it harder to laugh or smile. I've been having to fake energy with my friends, fake sincerity... enjoyment. Every time a friend tells a joke and I don't find it funny, I have to laugh, just because they expect it. It feels akward if I don't. I think besides stress and displeasement, the emotion I feel most in akwardness. I really don't want to have anything to do with anyone, would rather feel lonely than that akwardness or deal with the expectincy of others. Am I changing? Am I someone different from the person who I was just 6 months ago? I don't want to change. I really liked the person I was before. This is really strange...
At least I can still rely on one thing of not on my unstable self: D'espairsRay. Even with the intential shock of 「BRILLIANT」, I've learned once again how they're the only thing I'll truly ever be able to rely on, the only stable thing in my life now that I, myself as a person, is faltering and a bit unstable. And about「BRILLIANT」, I love it now. I really do. D'espairsRay will never let me down. They never have and never will.
--Michiko [InFeCtEd MuRdEr FrEaK]
And I missed school yestersay! It wasn't really that I was sick, I just knew that I was at my emotional limit and would probably have a panic attack or something at school. Yup, so I feigned illness. It seems I've been coming to my emotional limit very quickly, lately. I just don't have the energy to deal with anything. I wonder whats wrong with me. I've really changed a lot this year. I don't find things as amusing as I used to, find it harder to laugh or smile. I've been having to fake energy with my friends, fake sincerity... enjoyment. Every time a friend tells a joke and I don't find it funny, I have to laugh, just because they expect it. It feels akward if I don't. I think besides stress and displeasement, the emotion I feel most in akwardness. I really don't want to have anything to do with anyone, would rather feel lonely than that akwardness or deal with the expectincy of others. Am I changing? Am I someone different from the person who I was just 6 months ago? I don't want to change. I really liked the person I was before. This is really strange...
At least I can still rely on one thing of not on my unstable self: D'espairsRay. Even with the intential shock of 「BRILLIANT」, I've learned once again how they're the only thing I'll truly ever be able to rely on, the only stable thing in my life now that I, myself as a person, is faltering and a bit unstable. And about「BRILLIANT」, I love it now. I really do. D'espairsRay will never let me down. They never have and never will.
--Michiko [InFeCtEd MuRdEr FrEaK]