MY NEXT LIFE TO LOVE YOU - Part 1
Title : My Next Life to Love You
Author : Michi
Beta : noir-sakura20
Pairing : Yunjae
Genre : Angst, Drama (Warning : Character death!)
Length : Double-shot
Summary : Our love is not to be known. No affection in front of certain people can be shown. I know our day will come soon. When our worst nightmare finally came to separate us.
Dedicated to Nao, our gathering inspired me to update my LJ and my unfinished fanfic..hahahahaha
I got the plot from a Chinese MV with gay themed..
Fan Si Wei - My Next Life to Love You
Our love is not to be known,
No affection in front of certain people can be shown.
This drives me crazy,
My love for you is strong though and not hazy.
I know our day will come soon,
Sometimes I just feel like I am in a dream or cartoon.
I know you love me the way I love you,
I just hope this time this love is real and true.
Our love is not to be known,
At times it makes me feel like i'm all alone.
You hurt me yet you help me,
Taken away all my past started me over set me free.
I cant wait until we can shout it to everyone,
Then everyone will know under the sun.
One day our love can be put out there,
I can't wait until that day we share..
(by Amber desana)
Our relationship was a secret.. No matter how much I desired to be acknowledged by all people as your partner, no matter how tired I was to play hide and seek, all I could ever be was your little secret..
Admiration..
It all began from admiring you... I became your loyal fan since the first time I saw you..
I watched your every performance. Although my heart always cringed every time I saw you paired with every different woman..
Your arms around their waist.. Your fingers lingering on their smooth skin.. Your hand holding their hand tightly as if you didn’t want to let it go.. Your brown eyes staring deeply into their eyes ..
Still, I couldn’t tear my gaze from you..
I applied to be your manager with a purpose to be closer to you. All I asked for was to be able to watch you closely, even though we could never be friends, even though it would be impossible to be more than friends..
But I liked to think that God loved me and heard my prayer.
One day, after a big performance, he asked me something that I never thought would slip from his lips.
“Hey Jae.. Did you have any plans after this?” He asked while his eyes wandered everywhere except into my eyes.
“I don’t have any plans, Yunho-shii..”
“GREAATTT!!! Ahhmm.. I mean if you don’t mind and since you obviously don’t have any plans, wou-would you like to have dinner with me, ju-just the two of us?” He asked nervously while scratching his head.
My eyes bulged 100 times and I could only stare at him dumbfounded. ‘Did he just ask me out? Don’t be full of yourself Jae, perhaps he had only wanted to treat you as a thank you for your hard work.’ I could only nod my head, and he looked so satisfied with my answer, beaming until I could see his ears turning red.
‘So cutee..’ I squealed inside.
We ate at an expensive restaurant. He didn’t say a single thing during the dinner. It made me nervous and to what could actually be his purpose to ask me out for a dinner.
After dinner, he drove his BMW to the nearest beach and we strolled along the beach. I didn’t dare to raise my head or to ask him what we were doing on the beach.
Suddenly, he stopped walking and gazed at the moon. I stood next to him, and indeed tonight the moon looked so beautiful, a really appropriate time for romance.
I felt his hand grasp mine tenderly. His hand was so warm, and we fitted each other perfectly. I waited and waited, but he didn’t speak a word and we just stared at the sea while holding hands. At the calm silent, his words warmed my heart.
“Jae-ah, would you share your happiness and sadness with me from now on? Would you only smile for me? Can you give your love to me only?” He turned his body to face me and held my other hand, while staring lovingly into my eyes, “I love you and I have since I met you. Would you be my only love, Jae?” he had only spoken a few sentences but it made my cold body feel warmer, the night feel as bright as the day, and I couldn’t help feeling like the most happy man on earth.
I welcomed his offer with a tight hug and a soft whisper, “I love you too..”
It was as if I lived in dream, but I knew that someday I would have to wake up when I realized there would always be her by his side.
As we cuddled together one night, he told me how he had met her, Choi Min Ah, his lifetime partner.
His parents had died in a car accident when he was only ten years old. Mr. Choi was his dad’s best friend and as he had known Yunho since he was a baby, Mr. Choi and his wife already loved Yunho like their own child. Hence, they took Yunho under their care, giving him the chance to meet her, a petite and cheerful girl, Choi Min Ah.
With time, they became closer; they were more than friends, like siblings that were inseparable. For Yunho, he had always treated her as his little sister, but not for little Min Ah. It’s already been her dream since the first day she laid her eyes on him to be Yunho’s bride when she grew up. And she knew she would achieve that.
Mr. Choi who used to be the no. 1 dancer in Korea managed many dance studios and raised both of them to be well known dancers. They were dancing partners since childhood. With their talents, their compatible and Mr. Choi’s influence, in no time they became the most famous duo dancers in Korea.
People said they were the “Dream Couple”. Yunho, who was charming and friendly, was someone no one could turn their gaze away from when he was on stage. Min Ah, a cute girl who was always cheerful, who could make people laugh or be amazed by her cute acts, was so different with her elegant performance on the stage. So different from me. People had often said that it was no wonder if they were a real couple and someday get married.
They were a couple in everybody’s eyes. Yunho didn’t have to declare his love and he didn’t have to say “I love you” while Min Ah didn’t have to say “I do”. It’s already written in their book of life; it’s their destiny. And I was the third wheel in their relationship. As much as I hated to become the third person, I could not help it. I had loved him too much.
I threw away my guilt whenever he said he loved me and that my presence kept him sane, whenever he held me in his strong arms, sniffed my hair and told me, “You are all that I need..” I threw away my guilt everytime I saw Min Ah smiling so innocently when I knew that I had hurt her in many ways without her realizing.
Yunho’s relationship with Min Ah was a topic that both of us avoided. How selfish I would be if I had forced him to choose between Min Ah and I. I did not have any rights to ask him for anything. Or perhaps I was just too scared for his answer.
I cherished every moment I had with him, because deep down I knew that this happiness would not last forever. This happiness would never belong to me. This happiness that I took from her.
Whenever he had a stage performance, I would always sit at the front, being part of his loyal audience. My eyes would follow only him and his every move and there was nothing I see in my eyes besides him. And I knew and could feel, even if he had to stare at his partner, his loving gazes were always directed to me..
We always sneaked out everytime after his dance practice. We would make out in the dressing room, like there was no tomorrow or go to dinner in disguise after his performance as a celebration. While holding hands under the table everytime we had a big meal with the other staff, he would always steal a glance and kiss me.
There was also the whispers of a never ending “I love you” everytime Min Ah didn’t look in our direction.
As much as I was tired of all this, as much as I was scared that we would be discovered one day, who was I to complain? I was only the third wheel; I was outside the picture. He did not belong to me.
It was until that day. We had been so drunk in love after he had won the dancing competition - the competition that he had always dreamt of winning. Being too careless at a time when we had never suspected that a nightmare would come, we kissed with such intense hunger in the dressing room.
“My victory is for you, my love. It’s all because of you.” He whispered in my ears and snuggled into my nape.
I was his passion and motivation, and he knew that. “All my effort and hard work is for you, baby. I did it for us. So, one day, when I am famous enough, I can make millions or even billions of won for us to live in prosperity and happiness. So I can be brave enough to declare my love for you. So that I can come out to the world and yell that I’m gay, and yes, I love a man. The one and only love for me, it’s you and only you Joongie..” He said lovingly while showering my face with infinite kisses. I chuckled and could not help blushing, knowing how much I meant to him.
“So I don’t have to give a shit about what people will think about us and I will be able to hold your hand, hug you and kiss you, baby~.. Without being afraid of being caught..”
“Hmm.. you can do all that to me right now actually..” I said seductively and pushed him onto the couch.
“I will just do that..” Leaning forward, he nibbled on my lower lips and I could feel his strong arms wrapping securely around my waist. I put my hand behind his head and tugged it closer to deepen the kiss. His other hand started to travel inside my shirt and caressed my nipple.
“Aaahhhhh…” I moaned into the kiss and taking advantage of that moment, he slipped in his tongue. I could feel his tongue caressing every spot of my cavern, and his saliva mixing into mine.
~Prraaannnggggg….~
Suddenly, I heard a crash. When we looked up, we saw our nightmare. Min Ah was staring back at us in shock. There was a flash of many emotions in her eyes, disgust, shock, sadness, anger but the last one to remain showed a person with a broken heart.
I was scared for Yunho. It could be the end of his dream and I did not want to be the one who brought him misfortune. I wanted to bring him happiness even if I was not the one who would be by his side.
~ Continue ~
Hii alll... ^^
This is a repost, I already post this story before in 2011.. But since I'll be coming back to LJ, so I want to tidy up my LJ a lil bit..
I know, I've been hiatus for over a year.. Since i start working (in real life of course), but i'm planinng to continue writing esp my unfinished ff.. *cross my finger*
i hope I still had a reader..^^'
ENJOY THE STORY..
Don't forget leave your comments..>____________<