Depressed Day
Wow I hate my life RIGHT NOW.
I'll explain: Yesterday and Today I have had really hard days at work and my home life is really, really stressful. I hate staying home lately because I keep getting yelled at and there are money problems like whoa! My dad's bar is closing and he has to work at the place that he hates and where he makes no money for two days a week. Two days a week will be the ONLY days he will be working at all in the upcoming weeks. So he is really upset lately and my parents have been fighting which isn't common for them.
I don't think I want to go to college anymore, either, but I haven't told my parents yet which will start another fight. I don't think I will like St. A's I only picked it because I didnt get in to the school I wanted to go to and my parents didnt like Sacred Heart. I want to lave home but I don't at the same time. I have been having anxiety attacks about it and I don't think I'm cut out for college. And I am dreading camp this year! I really wish I never signed up.
Overall, it's been a rough couple days and I stayed home yesterday and it was awful. And working with my mom is getting so hard because I get yelled at there too and if i do something wrong there it comes home with me.
I just wanted a night out where I didn't have to think I could just be a teenager, without the responsibilty of someone else's kids or my parents on my back about everything or the money problems that follow me around at home. But unfortunatly, it seems that my friends are all too busy or tired or have something else going on so I'm stuck home. Which it isn't their fault they don't have to always be there.
I think my friends have become a crutch for me so I decided I'm staying home all weekend, in my room. I don't want they to have to deal with my shit or me so I'm spending this weekend alone learning how to deal with myself.
I'll explain: Yesterday and Today I have had really hard days at work and my home life is really, really stressful. I hate staying home lately because I keep getting yelled at and there are money problems like whoa! My dad's bar is closing and he has to work at the place that he hates and where he makes no money for two days a week. Two days a week will be the ONLY days he will be working at all in the upcoming weeks. So he is really upset lately and my parents have been fighting which isn't common for them.
I don't think I want to go to college anymore, either, but I haven't told my parents yet which will start another fight. I don't think I will like St. A's I only picked it because I didnt get in to the school I wanted to go to and my parents didnt like Sacred Heart. I want to lave home but I don't at the same time. I have been having anxiety attacks about it and I don't think I'm cut out for college. And I am dreading camp this year! I really wish I never signed up.
Overall, it's been a rough couple days and I stayed home yesterday and it was awful. And working with my mom is getting so hard because I get yelled at there too and if i do something wrong there it comes home with me.
I just wanted a night out where I didn't have to think I could just be a teenager, without the responsibilty of someone else's kids or my parents on my back about everything or the money problems that follow me around at home. But unfortunatly, it seems that my friends are all too busy or tired or have something else going on so I'm stuck home. Which it isn't their fault they don't have to always be there.
I think my friends have become a crutch for me so I decided I'm staying home all weekend, in my room. I don't want they to have to deal with my shit or me so I'm spending this weekend alone learning how to deal with myself.