(no subject)
Ok so I kinda found myself today. I think this was the moment I was expecting from my last entry...it was so subtle and so huge at the same time. I've realized that I'm just going to DO it. I don't care what will get me the most money, I don't care if my family would approve...I don't care anymore really. You know what my actual dream is? I mean, FUCK being a Psychologist! Mayeb some kind of therapist on the side. But it's not interesting to me anymore. Or not enough to make it a career. My real dream is WAY different. And I think I kind of always knew I wanted to do it, but never thought I could. I still have big doubts-but hey. You never know, right? Well. I want to drum. I don't know why, but I've been obessesed with drums since I played Marvin's in November. I remembr the rush and the feeling that NOTHING could touch me when I was playing. I want to do that. I want to buy a set, and practice my ASS off 24/7 until I'm badass. I'm done caring that it'll get me no money. It's what I love. It's kinda weird that I can say that and yet have pretty much no experience doing it. I dunno what it is. I also decided that I want something interesting...like, I want to do something...and be GOOD at it. I want to do piercings, I want to box, I want to do something exciting. I can't have the 9-5 boring job. Psychology has failed to hold my interest. It's very un nerving considering I've always planned on majoring in it. Now what? What am I going to do? I want to take Psych classes, but I don't want to do 12 years of it anymore. I'm back at square one. I'm wanting something fun. Something like....animal training, a vet tech...something.