Life is...life
I rarely know which way is up, and I'm still unsure what my future holds. I have lots of opportunities, but they're far into the future and while I know good things are on the horizon, sometimes it's hard to fathom that in the scheme of things.
I have a new job, customer service, and I really enjoy it so far. I'm finishing up training and am eager to get out onto the floor. My coworkers are funny and interesting, and I'll miss them. It's pretty difficult in a call center environment to make new friends...after all, you're on the phone 8 hours a day, and rarely do you have the same lunches as other people.
All in all, I think I'll be very good at my job, and that is a great feeling.
I've started gardening again, and it's fun. I'm trying to do a lot of preliminary clean-up work to get the garden up to snuff. I have expanded one flower bed, will be expanding another, and then the fun part of buying plants can begin. (I did buy a few new rose bushes, which I'm really looking forward to!)
http://www.roguevalleyroses.com/product_info.php?products_id=900
http://www.roguevalleyroses.com/product_info.php?products_id=896
In my personal life, well...that's less than great. I miss Japan, and the relationships and friendships I had. It's like, while my social life wasn't perfect, at least I had one, and I really miss that fact. However, I have no idea how to go about getting one. I've never been great at meeting people, and I'm not anyone who attracts a lot of attention. At the same time, I'm really tired. I'm very emotionally drained by caring about people who don't really care about me. I'm lonely, but I think that situation makes me feel even more alone. So I'm trying to close those doors. I am a person who really invests in friendships...Or at least I try...I'm no where near perfect and when I feel that we understand each other, I don't always need constant contact with my friends. I cannot continue to have an emotional black hole of my own making.
This grieves me. I'm torn into pieces. I question why I returned from Japan, I question what the hell I'm doing here. I have no answers.
I continue to simply exist, without purpose, without plans. I know it will get better, it has to, but in the meantime. Well, life is life. And it's sorrows will become joys, just as joys become sorrows.
Simply wait out the cycle, and you can be surprised.
Hope is hard, but there will always be rewards.
DUDE. That was unnecessarily EMO.
I have a new job, customer service, and I really enjoy it so far. I'm finishing up training and am eager to get out onto the floor. My coworkers are funny and interesting, and I'll miss them. It's pretty difficult in a call center environment to make new friends...after all, you're on the phone 8 hours a day, and rarely do you have the same lunches as other people.
All in all, I think I'll be very good at my job, and that is a great feeling.
I've started gardening again, and it's fun. I'm trying to do a lot of preliminary clean-up work to get the garden up to snuff. I have expanded one flower bed, will be expanding another, and then the fun part of buying plants can begin. (I did buy a few new rose bushes, which I'm really looking forward to!)
http://www.roguevalleyroses.com/product_info.php?products_id=900
http://www.roguevalleyroses.com/product_info.php?products_id=896
In my personal life, well...that's less than great. I miss Japan, and the relationships and friendships I had. It's like, while my social life wasn't perfect, at least I had one, and I really miss that fact. However, I have no idea how to go about getting one. I've never been great at meeting people, and I'm not anyone who attracts a lot of attention. At the same time, I'm really tired. I'm very emotionally drained by caring about people who don't really care about me. I'm lonely, but I think that situation makes me feel even more alone. So I'm trying to close those doors. I am a person who really invests in friendships...Or at least I try...I'm no where near perfect and when I feel that we understand each other, I don't always need constant contact with my friends. I cannot continue to have an emotional black hole of my own making.
This grieves me. I'm torn into pieces. I question why I returned from Japan, I question what the hell I'm doing here. I have no answers.
I continue to simply exist, without purpose, without plans. I know it will get better, it has to, but in the meantime. Well, life is life. And it's sorrows will become joys, just as joys become sorrows.
Simply wait out the cycle, and you can be surprised.
Hope is hard, but there will always be rewards.
DUDE. That was unnecessarily EMO.