life is so strange life is so strange
today was probably one of the most confusing days of my 15th year of life.
I thought that I wanted her to be my best friend again, but now I'm thinkin that i wouldn't be a good friend to her because, uno: if I ever did drugs or drank alcohol or something like that, she'd hate me.
and dos: she's way too worried about rules and things like that.
today I snuck out of the field show with brad, eleanor, maggie and elias, but she wouldn't come with.
we went to del taco and then to 7-eleven and then to the park.
and he didn't come either. the whole time we were gone, I was totally thinking that I really didn't like him that much because he's too anal as well.
and when we got back to the band thing a total wave of depression hit me and I just felt like dying.
total lonelyiness.
and then i sat right next to him and i wanted him again because his personality was actually coming out today.
and i thought he was acting like he wanted me too.
I was excited to get back to the buses because he had sat behind me on the way there, and now we would be allowed to talk to each other on the way back.
but he didn't sit behind me on the way back, his brother took his spot.
and then he didn't even say bye when he went home. even though i was standing right next to him.
I just cannot tell.
I feel like simply asking him whether or not he likes me, because frankly I'm getting mixed messages.
and I still can't even figure out if I like him or not.
and I catch him looking at me all the time.
but I look at a lot of people too.
and everyone thinks I'm strange.
not even the good kind of strange.
and I can't even have any fun with melissa, all she does is talk about girly things.
and I put my fingers to my temple and shoot.
I thought that I wanted her to be my best friend again, but now I'm thinkin that i wouldn't be a good friend to her because, uno: if I ever did drugs or drank alcohol or something like that, she'd hate me.
and dos: she's way too worried about rules and things like that.
today I snuck out of the field show with brad, eleanor, maggie and elias, but she wouldn't come with.
we went to del taco and then to 7-eleven and then to the park.
and he didn't come either. the whole time we were gone, I was totally thinking that I really didn't like him that much because he's too anal as well.
and when we got back to the band thing a total wave of depression hit me and I just felt like dying.
total lonelyiness.
and then i sat right next to him and i wanted him again because his personality was actually coming out today.
and i thought he was acting like he wanted me too.
I was excited to get back to the buses because he had sat behind me on the way there, and now we would be allowed to talk to each other on the way back.
but he didn't sit behind me on the way back, his brother took his spot.
and then he didn't even say bye when he went home. even though i was standing right next to him.
I just cannot tell.
I feel like simply asking him whether or not he likes me, because frankly I'm getting mixed messages.
and I still can't even figure out if I like him or not.
and I catch him looking at me all the time.
but I look at a lot of people too.
and everyone thinks I'm strange.
not even the good kind of strange.
and I can't even have any fun with melissa, all she does is talk about girly things.
and I put my fingers to my temple and shoot.