[30 Rock] Jack Donaghy/Liz Lemon, Prompt #4. Message
Title: My Bones are Not Hollow (But Please Stay Awake)
Author: michellek
Prompt: 7snogs #4. Message
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,420
Spoilers: "Cleveland"
Summary: Jack hasn't fallen asleep on top of her. So.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
*
Jack's a big guy.
This is a fact Liz has been aware of since she first met him, but never really thought about. But now she can't escape the size of him, his body hovering over hers as his palms press into the mattress, and she doesn't want to. Though, honestly, the first couple of times they had sex, she was kind of intimidated. As in scared. That he would fall asleep on top of her. And she wouldn't be able to move him. Then she'd be in the paper as a victim of coital suffocation, unless Jack found the whole deal too embarrassing and planted her body somewhere else. And if there *is* an afterlife, how sucky would it be to watch him implement his cover-up and realize she made a crappy choice in her last boyfriend?
(One night, she had a dream about being in heaven with her Aunt Ida, who chastised her for not knowing better.
"You can tell he's the sort to kill a girl and then never call again!"
Which made sense in the dream.
She woke up in a panic, alone in Jack's bed, and almost ran out of his apartment -- which would have been bad considering her nakedness -- but after she calmed down and got her clothes on, she found him in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of them and she thought, come on, he has to be a good one, right?)
Death by Jack's body is not a concern she brought up with him -- because, well, her throwing that part of his sexual history in his face is a bit of a sore spot and also, the envisioning of her possible death was way too specific and not super flattering to Jack, a guy she likes and wants to keep being liked by -- and it's one that's faded. (Not just because he isn't always on top.) But, for some reason, after this time, after he rolls onto his back and she's lying there, feeling all... glowy? Is that a thing? Anyway, as she's in Jack's big bed with a big, naked Jack, she ends up blurting out:
"We've done it seven times now, and you haven't fallen asleep once, so."
He doesn't respond right away, and she thinks she's annoyed him so she doesn't go for the low five she was about to administer to his upturned palm.
"I'm saying--"
"That," Jack begins, "would be more impressive it if had happened in a row as opposed to over an eleven-day period, but, quite frankly, it's not impressive at all." He pauses, as if considering his next words: "Phoebe was an anomaly."
"I get that now. And what I'm saying is that the problem was *her.* And I'm less boring than her. And less creepy. And less of a liar. I'm not a creepy liar at *all,* actually--"
"You've won, Lemon," he says, more than a hint of amusement in his voice. "There's no need to continue attacking the competition."
"I... She wasn't right for you. She was *bad* for you. It wasn't about being infatuated with you."
"Of course." His hand slides over her stomach. "Why would I believe--" Then downwards to her pelvis. "--that you're romantically interested in me?"
She grabs his wrist. "Don't try to play around with that when we're talking about your ex-fiancée."
He rests his palm on her stomach, turns fully onto his side as he holds his head up with his other hand. "You brought her up--"
"You said her name first, actually--"
"You don't consider noting the fact that I haven't *fallen asleep* during our sexual encounters a reference to her?"
"I didn't say her name--"
"In any case, I have no interest in exploring the topic--"
"And that was *months* ago, seriously. Months ago! I--"
"If it's a part of our distant past--"
"Not *distant*--"
"--why are you bringing it up?"
"All I wanted was for you to say I'm better than Phoebe--" She stops suddenly. "Wait, you were going to get pills! You're taking pills to stay awake during sex."
"Don't take away the victory you awarded yourself; you are more exciting in bed than Phoebe, though it wasn't her fault. Due to her condition, sex with her could be very methodical; I did have to be particularly gentle and thrust exceedingly slowly--"
"I'm sorry I brought this up now. Because, fine, I brought it up."
"I'm glad we're finally on the same page. And I can assure you our mutually enjoyable evening wasn't enhanced by any drugs."
"Well, there's my allergy medication. I don't think you'd want to do me if I were sneezing all over you." She pauses. "Maybe you haven't fallen asleep on top of me because I *am* boring. Because I'm not running around town with you, you know, wanting to go out every night. Wearing you out--"
"You're not boring. Though I am growing quite tired of this conversation."
"Fine. I'm done. Done. Completely done. Wait--"
He exhales heavily as he rolls onto his back. "Dear God--"
She gets on her side, head resting awkwardly where her pillow and his pillow meet. "Shouldn't she have broken some bones? If you fell asleep on top of her, I mean. Which you did. I don't think the two of you made up that story so you sound more awesome. Because it doesn't sound awesome--"
He raises his eyebrows. "Lemon?"
"Yeah?"
"What is your point?"
"Shouldn't she have broken some bones, considering her hollow ones? And you not being the weight of a feather."
"I've never thought about it," and the tone and speed of his response indicates he isn't going to spend any time thinking about it now.
"I knew she was lying about her bird bones." She didn't really, but it fits in the web of lies. She pokes his forearm. "Because, you know. She was crazy. You should have listened to me."
"Do I have to explain to you *again* that you've won?"
"It's not... never mind."
Liz stares at the ceiling as she crosses her arms, which she realizes feels weirder when she's not wearing a shirt. She rests her hands on her stomach.
"Sorry," she says, "for ruining the moment. I shouldn't have brought up you falling asleep on top of some crazy lady, a lady I disliked because of her not because... Okay, that does not matter. I'm just glad this deal is good for you. That you're enjoying the sex. All I was getting at."
"Next time you wish to convey that message, I suggest saying it outright."
She nods, frown deepening. "Okay. Good suggestion."
The mattress shifts; he's on his side again, hand slipping between her legs. She thinks their Phoebe conversation might too fresh for him to start playing around down there, but this could be a good way to signal the topic closed so she doesn't object. She arches toward his palm, and his mouth covers her own. She touches the side of his face as she parts her lips against his. The moan she lets out into is mouth is sudden, almost surprising, though she should probably be used to the fact that his hand -- which is also big, a detail she *never* noticed until he started using his hands to do stuff to her -- cupping her sex can make her feel excited. She parts her legs wider while his fingers start to caress her.
It's not long before she has to stop making out with him -- there's only so much into the mouth moaning a lady can take -- and he kisses his way down her neck.
It occurs to Liz that, if he fell asleep now, she wouldn't die. Because he's not completely on top of her.
She should stop thinking about this, even in passing. He's not going to fall asleep on top of her. Because she is better than his stupid ex-fiancée, and seriously, she didn't have a thing for him then, really.
"For the record," he says, two fingertips teasing her entrance while his thumb strokes her, "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."
"So." She lets out a breath, smiles slightly. "Good deal for both of us, huh?"
His mouth descends on her breast as his fingers begin to ease inside her, and she mutters:
"Awesome deal, actually."
His teeth lightly scrape against her nipple. "Indeed."
END
Author: michellek
Prompt: 7snogs #4. Message
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,420
Spoilers: "Cleveland"
Summary: Jack hasn't fallen asleep on top of her. So.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
*
Jack's a big guy.
This is a fact Liz has been aware of since she first met him, but never really thought about. But now she can't escape the size of him, his body hovering over hers as his palms press into the mattress, and she doesn't want to. Though, honestly, the first couple of times they had sex, she was kind of intimidated. As in scared. That he would fall asleep on top of her. And she wouldn't be able to move him. Then she'd be in the paper as a victim of coital suffocation, unless Jack found the whole deal too embarrassing and planted her body somewhere else. And if there *is* an afterlife, how sucky would it be to watch him implement his cover-up and realize she made a crappy choice in her last boyfriend?
(One night, she had a dream about being in heaven with her Aunt Ida, who chastised her for not knowing better.
"You can tell he's the sort to kill a girl and then never call again!"
Which made sense in the dream.
She woke up in a panic, alone in Jack's bed, and almost ran out of his apartment -- which would have been bad considering her nakedness -- but after she calmed down and got her clothes on, she found him in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of them and she thought, come on, he has to be a good one, right?)
Death by Jack's body is not a concern she brought up with him -- because, well, her throwing that part of his sexual history in his face is a bit of a sore spot and also, the envisioning of her possible death was way too specific and not super flattering to Jack, a guy she likes and wants to keep being liked by -- and it's one that's faded. (Not just because he isn't always on top.) But, for some reason, after this time, after he rolls onto his back and she's lying there, feeling all... glowy? Is that a thing? Anyway, as she's in Jack's big bed with a big, naked Jack, she ends up blurting out:
"We've done it seven times now, and you haven't fallen asleep once, so."
He doesn't respond right away, and she thinks she's annoyed him so she doesn't go for the low five she was about to administer to his upturned palm.
"I'm saying--"
"That," Jack begins, "would be more impressive it if had happened in a row as opposed to over an eleven-day period, but, quite frankly, it's not impressive at all." He pauses, as if considering his next words: "Phoebe was an anomaly."
"I get that now. And what I'm saying is that the problem was *her.* And I'm less boring than her. And less creepy. And less of a liar. I'm not a creepy liar at *all,* actually--"
"You've won, Lemon," he says, more than a hint of amusement in his voice. "There's no need to continue attacking the competition."
"I... She wasn't right for you. She was *bad* for you. It wasn't about being infatuated with you."
"Of course." His hand slides over her stomach. "Why would I believe--" Then downwards to her pelvis. "--that you're romantically interested in me?"
She grabs his wrist. "Don't try to play around with that when we're talking about your ex-fiancée."
He rests his palm on her stomach, turns fully onto his side as he holds his head up with his other hand. "You brought her up--"
"You said her name first, actually--"
"You don't consider noting the fact that I haven't *fallen asleep* during our sexual encounters a reference to her?"
"I didn't say her name--"
"In any case, I have no interest in exploring the topic--"
"And that was *months* ago, seriously. Months ago! I--"
"If it's a part of our distant past--"
"Not *distant*--"
"--why are you bringing it up?"
"All I wanted was for you to say I'm better than Phoebe--" She stops suddenly. "Wait, you were going to get pills! You're taking pills to stay awake during sex."
"Don't take away the victory you awarded yourself; you are more exciting in bed than Phoebe, though it wasn't her fault. Due to her condition, sex with her could be very methodical; I did have to be particularly gentle and thrust exceedingly slowly--"
"I'm sorry I brought this up now. Because, fine, I brought it up."
"I'm glad we're finally on the same page. And I can assure you our mutually enjoyable evening wasn't enhanced by any drugs."
"Well, there's my allergy medication. I don't think you'd want to do me if I were sneezing all over you." She pauses. "Maybe you haven't fallen asleep on top of me because I *am* boring. Because I'm not running around town with you, you know, wanting to go out every night. Wearing you out--"
"You're not boring. Though I am growing quite tired of this conversation."
"Fine. I'm done. Done. Completely done. Wait--"
He exhales heavily as he rolls onto his back. "Dear God--"
She gets on her side, head resting awkwardly where her pillow and his pillow meet. "Shouldn't she have broken some bones? If you fell asleep on top of her, I mean. Which you did. I don't think the two of you made up that story so you sound more awesome. Because it doesn't sound awesome--"
He raises his eyebrows. "Lemon?"
"Yeah?"
"What is your point?"
"Shouldn't she have broken some bones, considering her hollow ones? And you not being the weight of a feather."
"I've never thought about it," and the tone and speed of his response indicates he isn't going to spend any time thinking about it now.
"I knew she was lying about her bird bones." She didn't really, but it fits in the web of lies. She pokes his forearm. "Because, you know. She was crazy. You should have listened to me."
"Do I have to explain to you *again* that you've won?"
"It's not... never mind."
Liz stares at the ceiling as she crosses her arms, which she realizes feels weirder when she's not wearing a shirt. She rests her hands on her stomach.
"Sorry," she says, "for ruining the moment. I shouldn't have brought up you falling asleep on top of some crazy lady, a lady I disliked because of her not because... Okay, that does not matter. I'm just glad this deal is good for you. That you're enjoying the sex. All I was getting at."
"Next time you wish to convey that message, I suggest saying it outright."
She nods, frown deepening. "Okay. Good suggestion."
The mattress shifts; he's on his side again, hand slipping between her legs. She thinks their Phoebe conversation might too fresh for him to start playing around down there, but this could be a good way to signal the topic closed so she doesn't object. She arches toward his palm, and his mouth covers her own. She touches the side of his face as she parts her lips against his. The moan she lets out into is mouth is sudden, almost surprising, though she should probably be used to the fact that his hand -- which is also big, a detail she *never* noticed until he started using his hands to do stuff to her -- cupping her sex can make her feel excited. She parts her legs wider while his fingers start to caress her.
It's not long before she has to stop making out with him -- there's only so much into the mouth moaning a lady can take -- and he kisses his way down her neck.
It occurs to Liz that, if he fell asleep now, she wouldn't die. Because he's not completely on top of her.
She should stop thinking about this, even in passing. He's not going to fall asleep on top of her. Because she is better than his stupid ex-fiancée, and seriously, she didn't have a thing for him then, really.
"For the record," he says, two fingertips teasing her entrance while his thumb strokes her, "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself."
"So." She lets out a breath, smiles slightly. "Good deal for both of us, huh?"
His mouth descends on her breast as his fingers begin to ease inside her, and she mutters:
"Awesome deal, actually."
His teeth lightly scrape against her nipple. "Indeed."
END