And I'm Ready to Aim (Jack/Liz)
Title: And I'm Ready to Aim
Challenge: nothing_hip: 'See You Again' by Miley Cyrus
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Word Count: 2,330
Rating: PG
Spoilers: through 'Cooter'
Notes: This is way late -- trouble with ending it -- so thank Jeebus for nothing_hip's loose deadlines. Now I can move on and try the other challenge songs. I'll soon have NKotB on repeat, huzzah!
Summary: "The first thing Jack does after he gets the job that is rightfully his is tear down all the Marky Mark posters." A return, a party, some weirdness that's not so weird.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I assume SNL isn't supposed to exist in the 30 Rock world, but I mentioned it anyway and I don't own the couple of people I do reference. I also don't own Conan O'Brien or Keith Olbermann, and I don't agree with the mean stuff Jack says about Keith. Title is from the Miley Cyrus song. Don't sue.
*
The first thing Jack does after he gets the job that is rightfully his is tear down all the Marky Mark posters. Well, Liz is sure he did other stuff, but that's the first thing she sees him do. He hands them over to Jonathan. "Burn them. And not anywhere near this office. I don't wish to smell the fumes."
"Yes, sir," Jonathan says, beaming. Liz hasn't seen him this happy in months, and she's seen Jonathan a lot over the past five months. She never got over her habit of going up to Jack's (once former, now current) office on reflex whenever something crazy was happening with her. "I'm more than happy to do it."
Liz finds herself staring at Jack after Jonathan's gone. It feels so good to see him again, which is weird because they've seen each other quite a bit during his time in the Bush administration. But now he's back in her daily life, like he should be. That also sounds weird, maybe, but Kathy Geiss wasn't such a great boss and proved not to be the type of person you gradually got to know and care for because she never said or did much of anything. Thank God Don Geiss woke up because, wow, that lady was starting to freak her out.
"So," Liz says. "You're back."
"Yes, Lemon. I'm back." Jack is practically beaming, too, though he's not as sunny as Jonathan was. Jack's more low-key as far as beaming goes. "If I hugged you, would that be strange?"
"Um." Liz shrugs. "I guess it was a little strange that time I hugged you. So. Yes."
"Very well." Jack nods. "So I suppose I should acknowledge my joy simply by acknowledging it."
"Yes. Let's acknowledge our joy."
They stand there for a moment, just looking at each other. This is, yeah, kind of weird. But in a good way.
"Moving on," Jack says abruptly. "Would you like to accompany me to an event this evening?"
"I already have somewhere to go," she says. "It's a party for you, so I thought you'd be going." She stops. "Wait, it wasn't supposed to be a surprise, was it? I didn't think corporations arranged surprise parties, so I'm sorry--"
"No need to apologize. That's the event I'm inviting you to."
"Well. I'm already going. So you don't need to invite me."
Jack gets this look, the one he gets when he's about to say something important -- or something he considers important -- but what comes out of his mouth is: "Then I shall see you there."
Which doesn't sound important.
*
"I can't believe we're here to celebrate this guy becoming the head of everything," Conan says. "Do you know what he asked me to do? A sketch where the Masturbating Bear bought a microwave. That doesn't make any sense. Even if bears could use microwaves, he's preoccupied with pleasuring himself; he has someone else buy appliances and warm up his meals." He shakes his head. "That guy doesn't know anything. And Geiss named him CEO? It makes no sense."
Liz feels somewhat uncomfortable, even though there are five people besides her and Conan in this circle. It's just. You know. Hearing your ex-boyfriend talk about his dislike for one of your best friends is weird, regardless of whether or not it's said directly to you.
"Yeah," Seth says. "He wanted Amy to dress up like a microwave. Actually, we were going to do it to keep from having a nonsensical fight, but the microwave costume came out looking ridiculous and Lorne convinced him to let us cut it after dress."
"We used that microwave costume," Liz says. "I actually thought it looked okay. Jack said the sketch was pretty good. Creatively, and from a marketing perspective."
She gets frowns all around, especially from Conan's head writer.
"He's not so bad," Liz continues. She almost considers telling them that he's really a great guy and he's helped her a lot over the past couple of years, that he's even helping her adopt a baby, but they wouldn't understand. "But he still sucks," she says. "He can eat my poo."
They all laugh. Seth says, "Ah, poo. Great comedy word."
"I know, right?" Liz tries to move her toes around in her heels. She feels irrationally bad for giving in to peer pressure. She's like a high school cheerleader making fun of the nerd who was her best friend in middle school. (Liz has been in this situation; she was the nerd.) Yeah, that's right. She's acting like she's in high school right now. A teenager in high school. She's hammering this metaphor home, but she worries that if she focuses on them and not her inner musings, she might say something else pro-Jack and then have to back off it and she'll feel even guiltier.
Eventually, she excuses herself from the group. She's looking for Jack, but she doesn't see him. There are too many people here. Like, honestly, she thinks everyone employed by a GE subsidiary is here. But she just wants Jack.
Um. Not in that way. He's simply the only one she wants to talk to in this crowd. (Her staff is here, but they're all mingling and she sees them enough. And Jenna keeps trying to set her up with other guests and she does not want to date anyone. She has too much on her plate right now. Like work. And getting her adoption going. And there's Jack. Again, not in that way. But she doesn't want to have to explain to a potential boyfriend that her boss/friend is helping her adopt a baby. It sounds weird. She'll find a dude after she gets the baby. Good plan.)
Anyway. Where is Jack?
*
She's still looking for Jack an hour later when she runs into Keith Olbermann. Like, literally. She spills a little champagne on him and just stares at him, because she's favorited some of his Bill O'Reilly mockery on YouTube (falafel = something that will never get old) and she doesn't often see those she's favorited in person. One day, though, she's going to meet the Dramatic Chipmunk. That's a joke. Why she's making jokes to herself instead of the dude she got champagne on, Liz can't say. It's stuff like this that makes it hard to find a decent guy, right? Not that she wants to date Keith Olbermann. She's saying she frequently comes across as awkward, so.
"Sorry," she says finally. "For spilling champagne on you. It was an accident."
"I assumed so."
"As you should. Though maybe I work for some right-wing dude you badmouthed. And I'm going to take you down."
"By spilling small amounts of champagne on me?"
"It's admittedly a bad plan, but the buildup will be very tense. And somewhat wet."
He smiles at her then, and Liz thinks she's been a bit charming.
Well done, ol' Liz Lemon.
They don't say much more to each other -- an exchanging of names, a compliment about one of his 'Special Comments,' him (possibly lying by) saying he loves TGS -- but she feels pretty good about it. Shortly after he walks away, Jack is next to her.
"Where have you been?" she asks. "I've been looking all over for you. Conan's been complaining about you." Oh, wow. Now she's a tattletale, bringing her back into elementary school. What is she going to do when she regresses back to pre-school? "I don't know why I told you that. You probably don't care."
"You're right, I don't. Was that Keith Olbermann you were talking to?"
"It was."
"You're not interested in him, are you?" She hesitates because, well, she doesn't think she is. But if he were to ask her out, she probably wouldn't say no. They hate a few of the same people, and that's a good foundation on which to build a hypothetical relationship. Jack takes her silence as an admission. "Dear God, Lemon, have you ever found yourself attracted to someone inoffensive?"
"You liked Floyd," she says.
Jack doesn't acknowledge her comment. "Olbermann is one of those left-wing crackpots whose incoherent blather guarantees the Republican Party permanent control of the White House."
"Then shouldn't you love him?"
"Absolutely not," Jack says. "Not to mention he's already dating someone. A woman in her twenties." He exhales. "It's utterly disgusting."
Liz scrunches up her face in confusion. "Since when do you think a man dating a younger woman is disgusting?"
"An unattractive man in a May-December romance has always been disgusting."
She rolls her eyes and scans the crowd for a waiter with an hors d'oeuvre tray. Any kind is fine. "I can't believe I spent this whole party looking for you."
"Did you?"
She glances over at him. They're looking at each other, and it's kind of weird. She's not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way.
"Well, I didn't feel like talking to my staff, especially Jenna, because she has all these dudes she wants me to talk to. And the people working on your other shows are really bitter, so I didn't want to talk to them either. So. Yeah. I wanted to see you. And this is your party, so I thought I should congratulate you. So. Congratulations."
"Thank you." He looks at her in a serious way that either signals he's going to look at her boobs, make a declaration about what she needs to do with her life, or take off her necklace. What she's saying is: Jack is only kind of predictable. "Dating someone at MSNBC would be utterly beneath you. I hope you understand that."
"It's part of your extended GE family--"
"I can make money off people without respecting them or thinking they're fit to have torrid affairs with my friends."
"Where are you getting torrid affairs from? I'm not dating Keith Olbermann. I'm not going to date anyone until I'm done with you." Jack's eyes widen, and she says, "I don't mean... I mean the adoption thing. I'd rather be a dating mom than a dating prospective mom who has her boss hanging around and helping her get a baby. Adopt a baby. 'Get' a baby sounds sinister." Geez, she can't even act normal around people she knows tonight. She sighs. "I'm not going to try to sleep with you. That's not what 'done with you' meant. And I'm not going to stop talking to you after the adoption is finalized. Because 'done with you' could also sound like I've been using you to adopt a baby. I never thought you'd help me adopt until you said you would, so. I'm going to stop talking now and you may respond."
"Are you saying you're going to date Olbermann after your adoption is finalized?"
"No. I mean, I guess not. Maybe." She sighs. "I probably need to date someone, right? If I'm pondering accepting an invitation I wasn't given."
"Perhaps." There's a long pause that would cause a person to assume one word is all he has to say on the matter. Or that's what Liz would assume if she hadn't gotten used to Jack's way of speaking. "You do need to date someone. Someone who supports and understands your desire to become a mother through adoption. Someone you can trust to stand by you."
"But who? I'm not exactly beating them off with a stick."
"Beating a man off using a stick is no way to win his affection. Whoever told you anything different is a pervert or a saboteur."
"Wow, you really misunderstood that one."
This comment he also ignores. "Don't worry. I'm entirely certain there's someone who's suited for you."
"You're not going to set me up with someone at Fox News, are you?"
"No, I can't say I am." He stares at her for a moment. "But I can say I'm Keith Olbermann's superior."
"I know. You run a whole conglomerate."
"Yes," he says. "That's what I meant." He sounds vaguely irritated and pretty sarcastic but, in the next sentence, both affects are gone. "I'm going to be honest with you, Lemon--"
"Oh boy."
"--as subtle hinting for the past several months has gotten me nowhere and I can't stand spinning my wheels without hope of advancement. I don't want you to date men. I apologize; I meant to say other men. I have no desire to pressure you into lesbianism."
Okay, so. She has to be misunderstanding him, right? He's made it very clear he's not interested in her and if she says, "You want to date me?" he'll laugh and reply, "Of course not," and tell her about some friend of his he wants to set her up with and take a moment to list a few of the hot women he's dated. But she can't imagine Jack being timid about setting her up with someone. "You... want to date me?"
He looks her over. "Among other things, yes."
This is kind of weird, too, because she wasn't expecting this. Maybe it's a prank. No, he wouldn't prank her. Well, he did make up a whole childhood trauma for himself once, but that was to get her to be honest with him and to rope her into writing a show for Deborah. She can't see the benefit in him pretending to want to be her boyfriend.
"Um, since when?"
"A few months. I could zero in on the date if you're in need of specifics."
"That's not necessary." She intends to say she wants to think about this, but she winds up uttering, "Okay. Let's go out on a date."
"If I thought you'd say yes so readily, I would've asked you sooner."
"If I thought you wanted to ask me, I... don't know what I would've done."
"I appreciate your honesty."
"Yeah."
So, okay. She's apparently going to start dating Jack. This feels weird.
But, yeah. In a good way.
END
Challenge: nothing_hip: 'See You Again' by Miley Cyrus
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Word Count: 2,330
Rating: PG
Spoilers: through 'Cooter'
Notes: This is way late -- trouble with ending it -- so thank Jeebus for nothing_hip's loose deadlines. Now I can move on and try the other challenge songs. I'll soon have NKotB on repeat, huzzah!
Summary: "The first thing Jack does after he gets the job that is rightfully his is tear down all the Marky Mark posters." A return, a party, some weirdness that's not so weird.
Disclaimer: Not mine. I assume SNL isn't supposed to exist in the 30 Rock world, but I mentioned it anyway and I don't own the couple of people I do reference. I also don't own Conan O'Brien or Keith Olbermann, and I don't agree with the mean stuff Jack says about Keith. Title is from the Miley Cyrus song. Don't sue.
*
The first thing Jack does after he gets the job that is rightfully his is tear down all the Marky Mark posters. Well, Liz is sure he did other stuff, but that's the first thing she sees him do. He hands them over to Jonathan. "Burn them. And not anywhere near this office. I don't wish to smell the fumes."
"Yes, sir," Jonathan says, beaming. Liz hasn't seen him this happy in months, and she's seen Jonathan a lot over the past five months. She never got over her habit of going up to Jack's (once former, now current) office on reflex whenever something crazy was happening with her. "I'm more than happy to do it."
Liz finds herself staring at Jack after Jonathan's gone. It feels so good to see him again, which is weird because they've seen each other quite a bit during his time in the Bush administration. But now he's back in her daily life, like he should be. That also sounds weird, maybe, but Kathy Geiss wasn't such a great boss and proved not to be the type of person you gradually got to know and care for because she never said or did much of anything. Thank God Don Geiss woke up because, wow, that lady was starting to freak her out.
"So," Liz says. "You're back."
"Yes, Lemon. I'm back." Jack is practically beaming, too, though he's not as sunny as Jonathan was. Jack's more low-key as far as beaming goes. "If I hugged you, would that be strange?"
"Um." Liz shrugs. "I guess it was a little strange that time I hugged you. So. Yes."
"Very well." Jack nods. "So I suppose I should acknowledge my joy simply by acknowledging it."
"Yes. Let's acknowledge our joy."
They stand there for a moment, just looking at each other. This is, yeah, kind of weird. But in a good way.
"Moving on," Jack says abruptly. "Would you like to accompany me to an event this evening?"
"I already have somewhere to go," she says. "It's a party for you, so I thought you'd be going." She stops. "Wait, it wasn't supposed to be a surprise, was it? I didn't think corporations arranged surprise parties, so I'm sorry--"
"No need to apologize. That's the event I'm inviting you to."
"Well. I'm already going. So you don't need to invite me."
Jack gets this look, the one he gets when he's about to say something important -- or something he considers important -- but what comes out of his mouth is: "Then I shall see you there."
Which doesn't sound important.
*
"I can't believe we're here to celebrate this guy becoming the head of everything," Conan says. "Do you know what he asked me to do? A sketch where the Masturbating Bear bought a microwave. That doesn't make any sense. Even if bears could use microwaves, he's preoccupied with pleasuring himself; he has someone else buy appliances and warm up his meals." He shakes his head. "That guy doesn't know anything. And Geiss named him CEO? It makes no sense."
Liz feels somewhat uncomfortable, even though there are five people besides her and Conan in this circle. It's just. You know. Hearing your ex-boyfriend talk about his dislike for one of your best friends is weird, regardless of whether or not it's said directly to you.
"Yeah," Seth says. "He wanted Amy to dress up like a microwave. Actually, we were going to do it to keep from having a nonsensical fight, but the microwave costume came out looking ridiculous and Lorne convinced him to let us cut it after dress."
"We used that microwave costume," Liz says. "I actually thought it looked okay. Jack said the sketch was pretty good. Creatively, and from a marketing perspective."
She gets frowns all around, especially from Conan's head writer.
"He's not so bad," Liz continues. She almost considers telling them that he's really a great guy and he's helped her a lot over the past couple of years, that he's even helping her adopt a baby, but they wouldn't understand. "But he still sucks," she says. "He can eat my poo."
They all laugh. Seth says, "Ah, poo. Great comedy word."
"I know, right?" Liz tries to move her toes around in her heels. She feels irrationally bad for giving in to peer pressure. She's like a high school cheerleader making fun of the nerd who was her best friend in middle school. (Liz has been in this situation; she was the nerd.) Yeah, that's right. She's acting like she's in high school right now. A teenager in high school. She's hammering this metaphor home, but she worries that if she focuses on them and not her inner musings, she might say something else pro-Jack and then have to back off it and she'll feel even guiltier.
Eventually, she excuses herself from the group. She's looking for Jack, but she doesn't see him. There are too many people here. Like, honestly, she thinks everyone employed by a GE subsidiary is here. But she just wants Jack.
Um. Not in that way. He's simply the only one she wants to talk to in this crowd. (Her staff is here, but they're all mingling and she sees them enough. And Jenna keeps trying to set her up with other guests and she does not want to date anyone. She has too much on her plate right now. Like work. And getting her adoption going. And there's Jack. Again, not in that way. But she doesn't want to have to explain to a potential boyfriend that her boss/friend is helping her adopt a baby. It sounds weird. She'll find a dude after she gets the baby. Good plan.)
Anyway. Where is Jack?
*
She's still looking for Jack an hour later when she runs into Keith Olbermann. Like, literally. She spills a little champagne on him and just stares at him, because she's favorited some of his Bill O'Reilly mockery on YouTube (falafel = something that will never get old) and she doesn't often see those she's favorited in person. One day, though, she's going to meet the Dramatic Chipmunk. That's a joke. Why she's making jokes to herself instead of the dude she got champagne on, Liz can't say. It's stuff like this that makes it hard to find a decent guy, right? Not that she wants to date Keith Olbermann. She's saying she frequently comes across as awkward, so.
"Sorry," she says finally. "For spilling champagne on you. It was an accident."
"I assumed so."
"As you should. Though maybe I work for some right-wing dude you badmouthed. And I'm going to take you down."
"By spilling small amounts of champagne on me?"
"It's admittedly a bad plan, but the buildup will be very tense. And somewhat wet."
He smiles at her then, and Liz thinks she's been a bit charming.
Well done, ol' Liz Lemon.
They don't say much more to each other -- an exchanging of names, a compliment about one of his 'Special Comments,' him (possibly lying by) saying he loves TGS -- but she feels pretty good about it. Shortly after he walks away, Jack is next to her.
"Where have you been?" she asks. "I've been looking all over for you. Conan's been complaining about you." Oh, wow. Now she's a tattletale, bringing her back into elementary school. What is she going to do when she regresses back to pre-school? "I don't know why I told you that. You probably don't care."
"You're right, I don't. Was that Keith Olbermann you were talking to?"
"It was."
"You're not interested in him, are you?" She hesitates because, well, she doesn't think she is. But if he were to ask her out, she probably wouldn't say no. They hate a few of the same people, and that's a good foundation on which to build a hypothetical relationship. Jack takes her silence as an admission. "Dear God, Lemon, have you ever found yourself attracted to someone inoffensive?"
"You liked Floyd," she says.
Jack doesn't acknowledge her comment. "Olbermann is one of those left-wing crackpots whose incoherent blather guarantees the Republican Party permanent control of the White House."
"Then shouldn't you love him?"
"Absolutely not," Jack says. "Not to mention he's already dating someone. A woman in her twenties." He exhales. "It's utterly disgusting."
Liz scrunches up her face in confusion. "Since when do you think a man dating a younger woman is disgusting?"
"An unattractive man in a May-December romance has always been disgusting."
She rolls her eyes and scans the crowd for a waiter with an hors d'oeuvre tray. Any kind is fine. "I can't believe I spent this whole party looking for you."
"Did you?"
She glances over at him. They're looking at each other, and it's kind of weird. She's not sure if it's in a good way or a bad way.
"Well, I didn't feel like talking to my staff, especially Jenna, because she has all these dudes she wants me to talk to. And the people working on your other shows are really bitter, so I didn't want to talk to them either. So. Yeah. I wanted to see you. And this is your party, so I thought I should congratulate you. So. Congratulations."
"Thank you." He looks at her in a serious way that either signals he's going to look at her boobs, make a declaration about what she needs to do with her life, or take off her necklace. What she's saying is: Jack is only kind of predictable. "Dating someone at MSNBC would be utterly beneath you. I hope you understand that."
"It's part of your extended GE family--"
"I can make money off people without respecting them or thinking they're fit to have torrid affairs with my friends."
"Where are you getting torrid affairs from? I'm not dating Keith Olbermann. I'm not going to date anyone until I'm done with you." Jack's eyes widen, and she says, "I don't mean... I mean the adoption thing. I'd rather be a dating mom than a dating prospective mom who has her boss hanging around and helping her get a baby. Adopt a baby. 'Get' a baby sounds sinister." Geez, she can't even act normal around people she knows tonight. She sighs. "I'm not going to try to sleep with you. That's not what 'done with you' meant. And I'm not going to stop talking to you after the adoption is finalized. Because 'done with you' could also sound like I've been using you to adopt a baby. I never thought you'd help me adopt until you said you would, so. I'm going to stop talking now and you may respond."
"Are you saying you're going to date Olbermann after your adoption is finalized?"
"No. I mean, I guess not. Maybe." She sighs. "I probably need to date someone, right? If I'm pondering accepting an invitation I wasn't given."
"Perhaps." There's a long pause that would cause a person to assume one word is all he has to say on the matter. Or that's what Liz would assume if she hadn't gotten used to Jack's way of speaking. "You do need to date someone. Someone who supports and understands your desire to become a mother through adoption. Someone you can trust to stand by you."
"But who? I'm not exactly beating them off with a stick."
"Beating a man off using a stick is no way to win his affection. Whoever told you anything different is a pervert or a saboteur."
"Wow, you really misunderstood that one."
This comment he also ignores. "Don't worry. I'm entirely certain there's someone who's suited for you."
"You're not going to set me up with someone at Fox News, are you?"
"No, I can't say I am." He stares at her for a moment. "But I can say I'm Keith Olbermann's superior."
"I know. You run a whole conglomerate."
"Yes," he says. "That's what I meant." He sounds vaguely irritated and pretty sarcastic but, in the next sentence, both affects are gone. "I'm going to be honest with you, Lemon--"
"Oh boy."
"--as subtle hinting for the past several months has gotten me nowhere and I can't stand spinning my wheels without hope of advancement. I don't want you to date men. I apologize; I meant to say other men. I have no desire to pressure you into lesbianism."
Okay, so. She has to be misunderstanding him, right? He's made it very clear he's not interested in her and if she says, "You want to date me?" he'll laugh and reply, "Of course not," and tell her about some friend of his he wants to set her up with and take a moment to list a few of the hot women he's dated. But she can't imagine Jack being timid about setting her up with someone. "You... want to date me?"
He looks her over. "Among other things, yes."
This is kind of weird, too, because she wasn't expecting this. Maybe it's a prank. No, he wouldn't prank her. Well, he did make up a whole childhood trauma for himself once, but that was to get her to be honest with him and to rope her into writing a show for Deborah. She can't see the benefit in him pretending to want to be her boyfriend.
"Um, since when?"
"A few months. I could zero in on the date if you're in need of specifics."
"That's not necessary." She intends to say she wants to think about this, but she winds up uttering, "Okay. Let's go out on a date."
"If I thought you'd say yes so readily, I would've asked you sooner."
"If I thought you wanted to ask me, I... don't know what I would've done."
"I appreciate your honesty."
"Yeah."
So, okay. She's apparently going to start dating Jack. This feels weird.
But, yeah. In a good way.
END