The Coffee's Gonna Kill You, Though Not in a Literal Sense (30 Rock, Tracy/Kenneth)
Title: The Coffee's Gonna Kill You, Though Not in a Literal Sense
Prompt: 100_situations #072. Lost
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Tracy/Kenneth
Spoilers: 2x10
Word Count: 550
Rating: PG
Table: Number Two.
Notes: This is not what I usually write in this fandom. At all. I'm branching out! It can't be all about Jack/Liz, I suppose. (Though it pretty much is for me.)
Summary: On April fifth, Kenneth wakes up with a headache and an unclear memory.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
On April fifth, Kenneth wakes up with a headache and an unclear memory. He's not sure where he is, or how much coffee he had the night before, but he has a feeling he's done something bad. That's when he sees Tracy Jordan in bed next to him and he remembers... those things he did. Those things that can't be made right even with a marriage proposal. In fact, he's pretty sure a marriage proposal would make this situation even more shameful.
If that's possible.
So Kenneth just stays in bed, uncertain about what he's supposed to do and rather horrified by the whole thing. (This is not a sin he's previously committed, not even when Robbie Williams was the musical guest on TGS.) He waits for guidance and, when Tracy wakes, he assumes he'll get it. But Tracy acts as if nothing's wrong, saying stuff like "Good morning," and "There's nothing like the smell of bacon. Not even Canadian bacon. You know that's more like ham? It's false advertising," while walking around in his boxer shorts. For his part, Kenneth frowns silently and puts his clothes on. But he does follow Tracy into the kitchen.
"Man, last night got crazy," Tracy says, and Kenneth waits for something to be said about... that. "I never knew it was possible to juggle seven kids."
Kenneth's brow furrows. "Neither did I. I suppose. I actually don't remember that. Not at all. Someone was juggling kids? Were they his own children? Did they get hurt? How big were they? Oh my, I truly don't remember any of that. Other things, I remember somewhat. Like the duet Dot Com sang with that blonde lady. Was she a professional singer? Didn't I see her on TV? Did you ever see her on TV? What was her name?" His neck is starting to sweat. "I really can't stop at one latte."
"Yeah, that was bad advice. It's alcoholics who can stop at one alcohol drink, not caffeine addicts who can stop at one coffee drink." As Tracy gets some Hawaiian Punch from the fridge, he peers curiously at Kenneth. "You alright?"
"Well, to be honest. I... don't know how to feel about... what happened. Last night. Between us. In your bedroom."
"You mean that game of Scrabble? I already forgave you for not letting me make up words."
"No, the other part. The..." He lowers his voice to a whisper. "Naked part."
"Why?" Tracy shrugs. "It's no big deal."
"But--"
"Sometimes men get naked together. It's a natural part of life, like cities getting destroyed by flying dragons--" He mimes squeezing an invisible lump in the middle of his chest. "--or a woman growing an extra breast."
Generally, Kenneth would accept -- or pretend to accept -- Tracy's premise, but this situation is way too dire. "I'm pretty sure none of those things are normal, Mr. Jordan."
Tracy puts an arm around Kenneth and pats his shoulder. "You've still got a lot of living to do, Ken. A lot of living." He nods thoughtfully and, with a voice full of gravity, declares, "I'm taking you to Dragonopolis. It won't be pretty, but I have an extra helmet."
Kenneth has no idea how to respond. But at least Tracy is putting on some pants.
END
Prompt: 100_situations #072. Lost
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Tracy/Kenneth
Spoilers: 2x10
Word Count: 550
Rating: PG
Table: Number Two.
Notes: This is not what I usually write in this fandom. At all. I'm branching out! It can't be all about Jack/Liz, I suppose. (Though it pretty much is for me.)
Summary: On April fifth, Kenneth wakes up with a headache and an unclear memory.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue!
*
On April fifth, Kenneth wakes up with a headache and an unclear memory. He's not sure where he is, or how much coffee he had the night before, but he has a feeling he's done something bad. That's when he sees Tracy Jordan in bed next to him and he remembers... those things he did. Those things that can't be made right even with a marriage proposal. In fact, he's pretty sure a marriage proposal would make this situation even more shameful.
If that's possible.
So Kenneth just stays in bed, uncertain about what he's supposed to do and rather horrified by the whole thing. (This is not a sin he's previously committed, not even when Robbie Williams was the musical guest on TGS.) He waits for guidance and, when Tracy wakes, he assumes he'll get it. But Tracy acts as if nothing's wrong, saying stuff like "Good morning," and "There's nothing like the smell of bacon. Not even Canadian bacon. You know that's more like ham? It's false advertising," while walking around in his boxer shorts. For his part, Kenneth frowns silently and puts his clothes on. But he does follow Tracy into the kitchen.
"Man, last night got crazy," Tracy says, and Kenneth waits for something to be said about... that. "I never knew it was possible to juggle seven kids."
Kenneth's brow furrows. "Neither did I. I suppose. I actually don't remember that. Not at all. Someone was juggling kids? Were they his own children? Did they get hurt? How big were they? Oh my, I truly don't remember any of that. Other things, I remember somewhat. Like the duet Dot Com sang with that blonde lady. Was she a professional singer? Didn't I see her on TV? Did you ever see her on TV? What was her name?" His neck is starting to sweat. "I really can't stop at one latte."
"Yeah, that was bad advice. It's alcoholics who can stop at one alcohol drink, not caffeine addicts who can stop at one coffee drink." As Tracy gets some Hawaiian Punch from the fridge, he peers curiously at Kenneth. "You alright?"
"Well, to be honest. I... don't know how to feel about... what happened. Last night. Between us. In your bedroom."
"You mean that game of Scrabble? I already forgave you for not letting me make up words."
"No, the other part. The..." He lowers his voice to a whisper. "Naked part."
"Why?" Tracy shrugs. "It's no big deal."
"But--"
"Sometimes men get naked together. It's a natural part of life, like cities getting destroyed by flying dragons--" He mimes squeezing an invisible lump in the middle of his chest. "--or a woman growing an extra breast."
Generally, Kenneth would accept -- or pretend to accept -- Tracy's premise, but this situation is way too dire. "I'm pretty sure none of those things are normal, Mr. Jordan."
Tracy puts an arm around Kenneth and pats his shoulder. "You've still got a lot of living to do, Ken. A lot of living." He nods thoughtfully and, with a voice full of gravity, declares, "I'm taking you to Dragonopolis. It won't be pretty, but I have an extra helmet."
Kenneth has no idea how to respond. But at least Tracy is putting on some pants.
END