No Common Ground to Start From (Jack/Liz)
Title: No Common Ground to Start From
For: nothing_hip, Week #13: Breakfast at Tiffany's, by Deep Blue Something
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Spoilers: through 'Black Tie'
Word Count: 1,212
Rating: PG
Summary: Liz makes a pro/con list about whether she should date Jack.
A/N: This is the first bit of 30R fic I ever started. nothing_hip has helped me finish it. Woohoo!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Tina. Title is from the Deep Blue Something song.
*
[Pro]
1. Jack is basically nice.
[Con]
1. He's a Republican.
[Pro]
2. He seems to have impeccable hygiene.
[Con]
2. He might have a team of servants who help him maintain his good hygiene. That's cheating.
[Con]
3. He doesn't watch much TV. Probably doesn't care about Star Wars.
[Pro]
3. Liz could teach him about the greatness of TV and Star Wars and feel like she's introducing him to a whole new world of awesome.
[Con]
4. He always wears either a suit or a tux. She's not sure she could date a man who doesn't own any casual clothes. Also, he might expect her to wear an evening dress all the time. She's not into that.
[Pro]
4. He's good looking.
[Con]
5. He's totally aware of the fact that he's good looking.
[Con]
6. He's bossy and pretty pompous.
[Pro]
5. She's fairly certain that, deep down, he really likes her.
[Con]
7. The last man who really liked her turned out to be her cousin. The one before that was on To Catch a Predator.
With. Balloons.
Not that the balloons are a major deal in the scheme of things. There's just something about bringing balloons to your date with a teenager that seems really, really creepy.
But Dennis is not the focus here.
[Pro]
6. Jack is not related to her. And if he were to date someone even younger than his usual girlfriends, he'd probably bring a better gift than balloons.
Not that such a detail makes it better, but... there's no way to follow that but. It doesn't matter, anyway, since Jack hasn't been on To Catch a Predator. So. Another plus.
[Con]
8. She doesn't think she'd be surprised if he were on To Catch a Predator. Not because she thinks he's a predator waiting to be caught. It's more that when one guy you know ends up being confronted by Chris Hansen, any guy you know could get asked the question, "What are you doing here?"
Maybe this shouldn't be a con, then. But, still. If she were to rank all the guys she knows on a "Who's Most Likely to Be on Dateline" list, he probably wouldn't be in the last slot.
So. Still a con.
[Pro]
7. She's pretty sure that, deep down, she really likes him.
[Con]
9. She liked Dennis once.
[Pro]
8. Well, she didn't really like Dennis. She thought he was kind of nice sometimes, when he wasn't being gross.
But Jack, she might really like.
[Con]
10. When Jack isn't being nice, he can be pretty irritating. Which is better than being gross, and she finds him less irritating the more she gets to know him, but. This is a con.
[Pro]
9. You know, the fact that he's getting less irritating over time is a definite pro. By the time they're married, he might be completely unirritating.
[Con]
11. Whoa, why did marriage come into this? The fact that she's bringing up the word marriage in relation to a guy she hasn't even gone on a date with shows that Jack has warped a part of her brain. Brain warping is not acceptable.
[Pro]
10. He's had a lot of sex, so he's probably good at it.
[Con]
12. He'd probably want to have sex all the time.
[Pro]
11. Maybe if she were to have a lot of good sex, it wouldn't seem so boring.
[Con]
13. Maybe he doesn't really have to be good at sex. He's rich, which guarantees him dates, and who's to say that said dates are honest with him about his sexual aptitude? He might be one of those guys who makes honking noises when he's groping your boobs, but all these bimbos just pretended it was really sexy and adorable.
[Pro]
12. Well, he was with Bianca. And Bianca probably beat any sort of stupid sexual crap out of him. Like, literally. That woman's nuts.
[Con]
14. Bianca would probably attack Liz again if she were Jack's actual girlfriend. Liz doesn't like being attacked.
[Pro]
13. Jack probably wouldn't be averse to dating in secret. He's done it before.
[Con]
15. He dated Condi Rice in secret. How can she date Condi Rice's ex-boyfriend? And secretly dating one's boss is... just not her. It seems a little... skanky.
[Pro]
14. Jack's a good kisser.
[Con]
16. After he kissed her, there was this weird, awkward moment, and they walked away from each other. Which. Not a good sign.
[Pro]
15. Okay, he didn't really walk away. But there was a weird, awkward moment afterwards, when he just sort of looked at her as if he wanted to kiss her again. Which wasn't really weird or awkward, just... something. Something that she liked. Which made her feel weird and awkward. Then she left while muttering about needing 'to be at some place somewhere.'
[Con]
17. If her instincts told her to run away, then there's probably a really big part of her that doesn't want to be with Jack.
[Pro]
16. If her instincts were really that strong, she wouldn't be writing a stupid pro/con list to begin with.
[Con]
18. This is a placeholder. There's got to be another con.
[Pro]
17. He just sent her a link to a YouTube video of a hippo sleeping with a dog. Not in a perverted way. In a cute way. So, even while they're in a weird place, he's still reaching out to her.
[Con]
18. Ah ha! Here's an eighteen. By just sending her links, he's declaring his desire to ignore this thing between them. And next time she goes up to his office, he's going to laugh and say, "Oh, Lemon, why in dear heavens would we be awkward around each other? It was just a kiss, you silly lass!" She doesn't know why he's kind of eighty-years-old and vaguely British in her imagining of this exchange. But. It'll be something like that.
[Pro]
18. Okay, scratch con number eighteen. He just sent her an email asking if they're going to talk about what happened. "If you don't want it to happen again, it will never happen again."
[Pro]
19. After she says that the kiss was probably a mistake, he respects her wishes and doesn't try anything with her.
[Con]
18. When she breaks down and kisses him, he doesn't remind her that she doesn't want this.
[Pro]
20. Scratch eighteen again. Because if he were all, "I thought you didn't want this," it would be really condescending. Condescension laced either with smugness or fake concern. But it would definitely be one of those types of condescension.
[Pro]
21. He is a really good kisser. And he has nice hands. Did she mention those before? Yeah, she mentioned the first one. Whatever. Who cares?
[Pro]
22. He is good in bed. That's something she can say for sure now.
[Pro]
23. If you're going to sleep with a guy, you might as well date him. Especially if you've already said yes to dinner. She really should've updated this thing sooner.
[Pro]
24. She's made her decision, independent of the stupid list. She's dating Jack Donaghy.
Huh.
Now, she's throwing this thing out.
It didn't help, anyway.
END
For: nothing_hip, Week #13: Breakfast at Tiffany's, by Deep Blue Something
Fandom: 30 Rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Spoilers: through 'Black Tie'
Word Count: 1,212
Rating: PG
Summary: Liz makes a pro/con list about whether she should date Jack.
A/N: This is the first bit of 30R fic I ever started. nothing_hip has helped me finish it. Woohoo!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Tina. Title is from the Deep Blue Something song.
*
[Pro]
1. Jack is basically nice.
[Con]
1. He's a Republican.
[Pro]
2. He seems to have impeccable hygiene.
[Con]
2. He might have a team of servants who help him maintain his good hygiene. That's cheating.
[Con]
3. He doesn't watch much TV. Probably doesn't care about Star Wars.
[Pro]
3. Liz could teach him about the greatness of TV and Star Wars and feel like she's introducing him to a whole new world of awesome.
[Con]
4. He always wears either a suit or a tux. She's not sure she could date a man who doesn't own any casual clothes. Also, he might expect her to wear an evening dress all the time. She's not into that.
[Pro]
4. He's good looking.
[Con]
5. He's totally aware of the fact that he's good looking.
[Con]
6. He's bossy and pretty pompous.
[Pro]
5. She's fairly certain that, deep down, he really likes her.
[Con]
7. The last man who really liked her turned out to be her cousin. The one before that was on To Catch a Predator.
With. Balloons.
Not that the balloons are a major deal in the scheme of things. There's just something about bringing balloons to your date with a teenager that seems really, really creepy.
But Dennis is not the focus here.
[Pro]
6. Jack is not related to her. And if he were to date someone even younger than his usual girlfriends, he'd probably bring a better gift than balloons.
Not that such a detail makes it better, but... there's no way to follow that but. It doesn't matter, anyway, since Jack hasn't been on To Catch a Predator. So. Another plus.
[Con]
8. She doesn't think she'd be surprised if he were on To Catch a Predator. Not because she thinks he's a predator waiting to be caught. It's more that when one guy you know ends up being confronted by Chris Hansen, any guy you know could get asked the question, "What are you doing here?"
Maybe this shouldn't be a con, then. But, still. If she were to rank all the guys she knows on a "Who's Most Likely to Be on Dateline" list, he probably wouldn't be in the last slot.
So. Still a con.
[Pro]
7. She's pretty sure that, deep down, she really likes him.
[Con]
9. She liked Dennis once.
[Pro]
8. Well, she didn't really like Dennis. She thought he was kind of nice sometimes, when he wasn't being gross.
But Jack, she might really like.
[Con]
10. When Jack isn't being nice, he can be pretty irritating. Which is better than being gross, and she finds him less irritating the more she gets to know him, but. This is a con.
[Pro]
9. You know, the fact that he's getting less irritating over time is a definite pro. By the time they're married, he might be completely unirritating.
[Con]
11. Whoa, why did marriage come into this? The fact that she's bringing up the word marriage in relation to a guy she hasn't even gone on a date with shows that Jack has warped a part of her brain. Brain warping is not acceptable.
[Pro]
10. He's had a lot of sex, so he's probably good at it.
[Con]
12. He'd probably want to have sex all the time.
[Pro]
11. Maybe if she were to have a lot of good sex, it wouldn't seem so boring.
[Con]
13. Maybe he doesn't really have to be good at sex. He's rich, which guarantees him dates, and who's to say that said dates are honest with him about his sexual aptitude? He might be one of those guys who makes honking noises when he's groping your boobs, but all these bimbos just pretended it was really sexy and adorable.
[Pro]
12. Well, he was with Bianca. And Bianca probably beat any sort of stupid sexual crap out of him. Like, literally. That woman's nuts.
[Con]
14. Bianca would probably attack Liz again if she were Jack's actual girlfriend. Liz doesn't like being attacked.
[Pro]
13. Jack probably wouldn't be averse to dating in secret. He's done it before.
[Con]
15. He dated Condi Rice in secret. How can she date Condi Rice's ex-boyfriend? And secretly dating one's boss is... just not her. It seems a little... skanky.
[Pro]
14. Jack's a good kisser.
[Con]
16. After he kissed her, there was this weird, awkward moment, and they walked away from each other. Which. Not a good sign.
[Pro]
15. Okay, he didn't really walk away. But there was a weird, awkward moment afterwards, when he just sort of looked at her as if he wanted to kiss her again. Which wasn't really weird or awkward, just... something. Something that she liked. Which made her feel weird and awkward. Then she left while muttering about needing 'to be at some place somewhere.'
[Con]
17. If her instincts told her to run away, then there's probably a really big part of her that doesn't want to be with Jack.
[Pro]
16. If her instincts were really that strong, she wouldn't be writing a stupid pro/con list to begin with.
[Con]
18. This is a placeholder. There's got to be another con.
[Pro]
17. He just sent her a link to a YouTube video of a hippo sleeping with a dog. Not in a perverted way. In a cute way. So, even while they're in a weird place, he's still reaching out to her.
[Con]
18. Ah ha! Here's an eighteen. By just sending her links, he's declaring his desire to ignore this thing between them. And next time she goes up to his office, he's going to laugh and say, "Oh, Lemon, why in dear heavens would we be awkward around each other? It was just a kiss, you silly lass!" She doesn't know why he's kind of eighty-years-old and vaguely British in her imagining of this exchange. But. It'll be something like that.
[Pro]
18. Okay, scratch con number eighteen. He just sent her an email asking if they're going to talk about what happened. "If you don't want it to happen again, it will never happen again."
[Pro]
19. After she says that the kiss was probably a mistake, he respects her wishes and doesn't try anything with her.
[Con]
18. When she breaks down and kisses him, he doesn't remind her that she doesn't want this.
[Pro]
20. Scratch eighteen again. Because if he were all, "I thought you didn't want this," it would be really condescending. Condescension laced either with smugness or fake concern. But it would definitely be one of those types of condescension.
[Pro]
21. He is a really good kisser. And he has nice hands. Did she mention those before? Yeah, she mentioned the first one. Whatever. Who cares?
[Pro]
22. He is good in bed. That's something she can say for sure now.
[Pro]
23. If you're going to sleep with a guy, you might as well date him. Especially if you've already said yes to dinner. She really should've updated this thing sooner.
[Pro]
24. She's made her decision, independent of the stupid list. She's dating Jack Donaghy.
Huh.
Now, she's throwing this thing out.
It didn't help, anyway.
END