The Rain Doth Falleth (TO, M/J, P/K)
Title: The Rain Doth Falleth
For: office500, Week #2: Rain
Fandom: The Office
Pairings: Michael/Jan, (mild) Pam/Karen
Spoilers: through 'Product Recall'
Rating: PG
Word Count: 845
Summary: Five things that happen the day after Jan breaks up with Michael.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Notes: This is not exactly current, but. There's nothing wrong with AU-ness.
*
1.
It's raining. This causes Michael to declare, "I believe that heaven's weeping, for I have lost me angel."
Pam thinks this comment is about forty percent funny, sixty percent heartbreaking.
"Shouldn't it be 'my'?" Kevin asks. He sounds strangely uncertain.
"What?" Michael says. "No. I'm speaking your old English. Like poets. Duh."
"And you," Andy says, "are quite a poet."
2.
Andy and Dwight get into a minor fight about who's going to buy Michael the bucket of comfort ribs he requested. Dwight unshuns and reshuns him about twenty times in the course of the conversation. In the end, Andy admits he wasn't really serious about the argument.
"I hope that the more you talk to me, the sooner you will come to realize that I, like you, have only the best interests of Michael and this grand company at heart. We're actually a lot alike."
"Unshun," Dwight says. "I have nothing in common with you. Reshun."
3.
Michael brings Pam into his office to shoot his apology video for Jan. Dwight's not there to hold the cue cards (he went to pick up Michael's comfort pizza and his comfort Chunky Monkey ice cream), so Michael recruits Karen.
"I need the touch of two women," he tells her. Karen shoots him a disgusted look, and Michael snaps, "Not that way. This is just about my love for one woman." He looks down at his shoes. "One Jan-shaped woman. Named Jan. Who I love."
Karen agrees because he looks so depressed that it almost depresses her, and she'd been in a good mood up to this point. (She loves the rain.) She glances over the cards before Michael settles himself at his desk, sees way too many references to what he just can't do in bed. Thankfully, he goes way off script, finding a bunch of different ways to say he loves Jan. He closes with:
"I want you to know that I wanna love you forever. And this is all I'm asking of you: ten thousand lifetimes together. Is that so much for you to do? Because from the moment that I saw your face and felt the fire in your sweet embrace, I swear I knew. I'm gonna love you forever." He pauses. "And if you really want to do those things, I will do them. You have... as long as you want. Because I love you."
Pam nods. "I think this is your best apology video ever."
After watching it over a couple of times, Michael holds the tape up over his head and asks his employees, "Okay, who wants to drive this to New York?"
No one replies.
"Fine," he mutters. "I'll get Dwight to do it when he comes back with my comfort US Weekly."
4.
Pam and Karen find themselves in the break room, discussing Michael's video.
"Was that a Jessica Simpson song he was quoting?" Karen says.
Pam nods. "He's very fond of her work. He's seen 'Dukes of Hazzard' five times and 'Employee of the Month' eight times. But he's also a big Dane Cook fan, so... Wait, why did you know that was a Jessica Simpson song?"
Karen shrugs. "There's nothing wrong with being familiar with inoffensive pop sung by pretty girls." She tenses slightly, but still just enough for Pam to notice. "Don't tell anybody I said that."
It takes a moment for Pam to realize the implications of Karen's comment, and she has no idea if Karen is upset because people might take the words to mean something they don't or something they do.
Pam smiles. "Your fondness for bad music is a secret I can keep."
"Hey," Karen says, slowly smiling back. "I didn't say I was fond of it. Just that I didn't mind it."
"Sure."
Karen says they should go out for coffee sometime, and Pam finds herself saying yes. Jim looks at them nervously as they return to their desks.
5.
Dwight runs into Jan's office, tape in hand. "Don't give up on him," he says.
Jan thinks about saying how inappropriate this is, but she just sighs and takes the tape from him. Dwight looks so satisfied that she thinks he's going to raise his hand for a high-five. While she's pondering how she would deal with that, he nods and says, "My work here is done."
She puts off watching the tape until she's through with what she can't finish tomorrow; partly due to work ethic, but mostly due to just not feeling in the mood to deal with Michael's ridiculousness.
"This is my apology video to you. You being Jan," the video begins. He tells her that he loves her, then tells her again. Says he doesn't know what he's apologizing for, but he must have done something or else they would still be together. Also, he loves her. It's incredibly silly, strangely sincere, and one of the sweetest things a man has done for her in years. But it's Michael, and Michael is still wrong for her in pretty much every way. But...
She picks up the phone and dials his number.
END
For: office500, Week #2: Rain
Fandom: The Office
Pairings: Michael/Jan, (mild) Pam/Karen
Spoilers: through 'Product Recall'
Rating: PG
Word Count: 845
Summary: Five things that happen the day after Jan breaks up with Michael.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Notes: This is not exactly current, but. There's nothing wrong with AU-ness.
*
1.
It's raining. This causes Michael to declare, "I believe that heaven's weeping, for I have lost me angel."
Pam thinks this comment is about forty percent funny, sixty percent heartbreaking.
"Shouldn't it be 'my'?" Kevin asks. He sounds strangely uncertain.
"What?" Michael says. "No. I'm speaking your old English. Like poets. Duh."
"And you," Andy says, "are quite a poet."
2.
Andy and Dwight get into a minor fight about who's going to buy Michael the bucket of comfort ribs he requested. Dwight unshuns and reshuns him about twenty times in the course of the conversation. In the end, Andy admits he wasn't really serious about the argument.
"I hope that the more you talk to me, the sooner you will come to realize that I, like you, have only the best interests of Michael and this grand company at heart. We're actually a lot alike."
"Unshun," Dwight says. "I have nothing in common with you. Reshun."
3.
Michael brings Pam into his office to shoot his apology video for Jan. Dwight's not there to hold the cue cards (he went to pick up Michael's comfort pizza and his comfort Chunky Monkey ice cream), so Michael recruits Karen.
"I need the touch of two women," he tells her. Karen shoots him a disgusted look, and Michael snaps, "Not that way. This is just about my love for one woman." He looks down at his shoes. "One Jan-shaped woman. Named Jan. Who I love."
Karen agrees because he looks so depressed that it almost depresses her, and she'd been in a good mood up to this point. (She loves the rain.) She glances over the cards before Michael settles himself at his desk, sees way too many references to what he just can't do in bed. Thankfully, he goes way off script, finding a bunch of different ways to say he loves Jan. He closes with:
"I want you to know that I wanna love you forever. And this is all I'm asking of you: ten thousand lifetimes together. Is that so much for you to do? Because from the moment that I saw your face and felt the fire in your sweet embrace, I swear I knew. I'm gonna love you forever." He pauses. "And if you really want to do those things, I will do them. You have... as long as you want. Because I love you."
Pam nods. "I think this is your best apology video ever."
After watching it over a couple of times, Michael holds the tape up over his head and asks his employees, "Okay, who wants to drive this to New York?"
No one replies.
"Fine," he mutters. "I'll get Dwight to do it when he comes back with my comfort US Weekly."
4.
Pam and Karen find themselves in the break room, discussing Michael's video.
"Was that a Jessica Simpson song he was quoting?" Karen says.
Pam nods. "He's very fond of her work. He's seen 'Dukes of Hazzard' five times and 'Employee of the Month' eight times. But he's also a big Dane Cook fan, so... Wait, why did you know that was a Jessica Simpson song?"
Karen shrugs. "There's nothing wrong with being familiar with inoffensive pop sung by pretty girls." She tenses slightly, but still just enough for Pam to notice. "Don't tell anybody I said that."
It takes a moment for Pam to realize the implications of Karen's comment, and she has no idea if Karen is upset because people might take the words to mean something they don't or something they do.
Pam smiles. "Your fondness for bad music is a secret I can keep."
"Hey," Karen says, slowly smiling back. "I didn't say I was fond of it. Just that I didn't mind it."
"Sure."
Karen says they should go out for coffee sometime, and Pam finds herself saying yes. Jim looks at them nervously as they return to their desks.
5.
Dwight runs into Jan's office, tape in hand. "Don't give up on him," he says.
Jan thinks about saying how inappropriate this is, but she just sighs and takes the tape from him. Dwight looks so satisfied that she thinks he's going to raise his hand for a high-five. While she's pondering how she would deal with that, he nods and says, "My work here is done."
She puts off watching the tape until she's through with what she can't finish tomorrow; partly due to work ethic, but mostly due to just not feeling in the mood to deal with Michael's ridiculousness.
"This is my apology video to you. You being Jan," the video begins. He tells her that he loves her, then tells her again. Says he doesn't know what he's apologizing for, but he must have done something or else they would still be together. Also, he loves her. It's incredibly silly, strangely sincere, and one of the sweetest things a man has done for her in years. But it's Michael, and Michael is still wrong for her in pretty much every way. But...
She picks up the phone and dials his number.
END