(no subject)
so maybe i should update once in a while.... maybe. college has been crazy fun times in general, i cant really explain everything cuz im lazy but there have been some pimp parties in the past few weeks like south seas, bayou bash, halloween decadence, saturate, original sin, and tomorrow i think im gonna go to dekes of hazard... but really the more chill thursday nites at my favorite zbt are the best, always. other than the partying its been good too cuz its not snowing on me like its snowing on everyone else. i went downtown today just buying trashy souveniers for ppl and i got to talking to this trumpet playing bum by the mississippi river about coming here to get away from snow cuz i guess he left boston too. maybe i shouldnt talk to strange ppl in strange places but i think that they are interesting and always will. but yea i really liked walking along the river bc i realized how much i miss the beach and the ocean and i guess the river is the closest i can get to it here. but seeing big things of water makes ppl happier i think. like if ur bummed and go there it will make u feel at least a little better automatically. schoolwork sucks, i hate that i am such a slacker, i thought id change when i got here but old habits dont change and i keep saying ill get serious but lets face it i wont and ill always coast along on luck and natural ability and never do really good at anything because i just have no motivation whatsoever to live up to any potential and i wish i could fix that but i cant make myself interested in things that dont affect what i think is real life and this makes no sense but it does to me. its like i used to care so much about being good at stuff and doing the best i could and all that overachiever bullshit but at some point, i thnk 7th grade, it just reversed and ive been a slacker since. i think maybe i just started caring more about other stuff like real life stuff but its ok cuz i feel like a lot of the ppl here are the same way like that and its a fun place to be and i wouldnt want to waste whatever is left of being young on worrying too much about work. at least the weather is good cuz o man if it was a real winter right now things would suck. seriously its so much fun here and im so glad im here rather than some boring boston school with half the kids from my graduating class, but im sooo excited for thanksgiving to go home and be in my house and see people for the first time in months. i get wicked jealous sometimes when people are like o yea im going home to braintree for the night bc i know i cant just decide to go home for the night if im homesick or just sick or just feel like it. but its definatly good for me to stick it out and make this place home cuz i do love it and it doesnt let me postpone growing up like i probably would if i could. but its gona feel so good to see people and eat real home food and know that xmas break is next. i even miss kohls sometimes and how gross is that? anyways when i come back from winter break i think i should get involved in something or try to find some purpose in being alive haha because sometimes i feel so lazy compared to high school. im not involved in anything really and i should do a sport or get a job or do something. but it sucks cuz i say i should but i know ill never feel like going and theres nothing that really appeals to me enough and that is sad. but its ok cuz thats what college kids are like i guess. so in like a week and a half im gona go home, eat good food, see good ppl, go look at the beach, go see all my favorite parts of my favorite city, and just chill, high school style. itll be real.