Ten Little Things
I often use the analogy that the brain is like a computer in that it can be filled with bad programming. Glitches, applications that don't do what they are supposed to do, and viruses that can wreak havoc. No matter what your underlying operating system ~ left-brained, right-brained, global thinker, linear thinker, artistic or logical, we can all be subject to the suffering that arises with faulty programming.
Fortunately, there are some simple tools that one can use to reprogram one's own brain. In fact some of them are so simple that many will scoff "that couldn't work." Oftentimes the simplest approaches are the most effective though. All one has to do is actually do them.
I will share one that works remarkably well. One I have used myself.
Whether through programming we learned as a child or being faced with a problem that has proven particularly challenging, we can get in the habit of seeing only the negative occurrences in our lives and totally missing the positive occurrences. Somewhere along the line, our brain has learned to "focus" on only certain types of data, in our example the negative. Due to this focus, we easily miss the good stuff. In fact, our focus can become so narrow that not only do we see only the negative things, we obsess over past negative things and begin to fear future negative things. A certain road to hell, is it not?
How can this type of thinking be thwarted? Not only thwarted, but turned around so we see the positive bits too? In fact, learn not only to see the positive things, but change our focus enough to give the positive things priority and let the negative ones slip into the background where the positive ones are now hiding?
It's very simple. All you have to do is do it. You don't even have to believe it will work. Just do it. It will work whether you believe or not.
At the end of the day, when you're in a quiet space, mentally list ten good things that happened to you today. I know, I can hear you exclaim, "Ten good things! Shit, I'm lucky if I have one good thing happen to me each day."
To which, I will reply, "Bullshit." If you have only one good thing it's because you aren't seeing the other nine (or fifteen or twenty). Now these things do not have to be big things like, "I won the lottery." No, you have to include the small things, the small things that make up the threads in your life that you aren't noticing. And that's why ten is a good number because it forces you to look for those good things. They are there. Trust me.
I'll go first. Here's my list of ten:
1, Got a call from my cousin. We're looking forward to celebrating our birthday together.
2. Received a text message ~ a joke ~ from a friend in Las Vegas that really made me laugh out loud.
3. Spent quality time petting my cat.
4. Read and commented on my mom's very first LiveJournal post.
5. Finished piecing a table-runner.
6. Listened to some good music: Wine & Alchemy, and ehowton's Harvest and Day of the Dead.
7. Really enjoyed the sound of my new speakers.
8. Felt some accomplishment rearranging my closet.
9. The sun shined today.
10. Lucky I wasn't hungover from last night's beer fest.
So there you have it. And yes, I can still hear some of you saying, "Big fucking deal. Those things don't mean anything." That's where you're wrong. Our lives are made up of moments. And yes, those moments can accumulate into some admirable accomplishments. But most of our days are spent in moments. And this is all about learning to take focus off of those negative moments, which I guarantee are just as small and insignificant except for the fact that you are focusing on them, and focusing on the pleasurable ones instead of just passing them by.
I know you're skeptical. Good! You should be skeptical. Give it a shot. Try it for a month. What have you got to lose?
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~ Buddha
Fortunately, there are some simple tools that one can use to reprogram one's own brain. In fact some of them are so simple that many will scoff "that couldn't work." Oftentimes the simplest approaches are the most effective though. All one has to do is actually do them.
I will share one that works remarkably well. One I have used myself.
Whether through programming we learned as a child or being faced with a problem that has proven particularly challenging, we can get in the habit of seeing only the negative occurrences in our lives and totally missing the positive occurrences. Somewhere along the line, our brain has learned to "focus" on only certain types of data, in our example the negative. Due to this focus, we easily miss the good stuff. In fact, our focus can become so narrow that not only do we see only the negative things, we obsess over past negative things and begin to fear future negative things. A certain road to hell, is it not?
How can this type of thinking be thwarted? Not only thwarted, but turned around so we see the positive bits too? In fact, learn not only to see the positive things, but change our focus enough to give the positive things priority and let the negative ones slip into the background where the positive ones are now hiding?
It's very simple. All you have to do is do it. You don't even have to believe it will work. Just do it. It will work whether you believe or not.
At the end of the day, when you're in a quiet space, mentally list ten good things that happened to you today. I know, I can hear you exclaim, "Ten good things! Shit, I'm lucky if I have one good thing happen to me each day."
To which, I will reply, "Bullshit." If you have only one good thing it's because you aren't seeing the other nine (or fifteen or twenty). Now these things do not have to be big things like, "I won the lottery." No, you have to include the small things, the small things that make up the threads in your life that you aren't noticing. And that's why ten is a good number because it forces you to look for those good things. They are there. Trust me.
I'll go first. Here's my list of ten:
1, Got a call from my cousin. We're looking forward to celebrating our birthday together.
2. Received a text message ~ a joke ~ from a friend in Las Vegas that really made me laugh out loud.
3. Spent quality time petting my cat.
4. Read and commented on my mom's very first LiveJournal post.
5. Finished piecing a table-runner.
6. Listened to some good music: Wine & Alchemy, and ehowton's Harvest and Day of the Dead.
7. Really enjoyed the sound of my new speakers.
8. Felt some accomplishment rearranging my closet.
9. The sun shined today.
10. Lucky I wasn't hungover from last night's beer fest.
So there you have it. And yes, I can still hear some of you saying, "Big fucking deal. Those things don't mean anything." That's where you're wrong. Our lives are made up of moments. And yes, those moments can accumulate into some admirable accomplishments. But most of our days are spent in moments. And this is all about learning to take focus off of those negative moments, which I guarantee are just as small and insignificant except for the fact that you are focusing on them, and focusing on the pleasurable ones instead of just passing them by.
I know you're skeptical. Good! You should be skeptical. Give it a shot. Try it for a month. What have you got to lose?
Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. ~ Buddha