Writer's Block: Personal Strength
I find my personal strength in God.
For many years, I went around with the attitude that if I had a problem, I have to deal with that problem myself. I usually didn't ask for help because I did feel that nobody was really interested in my problems. And in conclusion, no one could help me with my troubles.
There was a time, for many years, that I was undergoing depression. True, my depression wasn't chronic. But it didn't mean that there weren't times that I wanted to check myself into a hospital. And although I wasn't suicidal (because I know that taking your own life is a sin), there were times I didn't want to live. There were many days that I didn't even want to get out of bed to face the world. I believe I was like this for more than 5 years.
One day, I did break down. And for a week I was eating and I was crying alot.
That's when I decided to finally visit my doctor and try to convince him to give me a referral for bloodtests.
True, he didn't give me one. That's when I broke down in his office in tears. That's when he started talking to me about Jesus and telling me how much Jesus loved me. It's been years that I have heard anyone tell me that.
When I got home, I started to force some food into my belly. Although, I still wasn't hungry.
The doctor told me many things but what reigned the most was his words about a loving God.
My attitude did not change overnight.
It wasn't until late 2007 that I just had enough. Things were still not going too well for me and I was REALLY tired!
First of all, there were people that I was still angry at because of past wrongs they've done to me. And eventhough I said that I forgave them, I was still angry with them, which is not forgiving them at all. Then something in me clicked, I decided one day that it was best to start forgiving people and in the process, ask for forgiveness myself. That's where the healing began.
I then told God, "Lord, I'm really tired. I'm tired of trying to do everything my way. I'm tired of trying to figure everything out. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm exhausted. In fact, I'm going to start doing things YOUR way. I'm going to start following YOUR flow. YOU lead me. I will follow."
Once I dedided that, things started to change for me.
I realized that when we try to do things in our own strength, frustration follows. But the moment we give our troubles to God and trust in Him to get us out, we can feel at peace with our circumstances.
I realized that the only reason why I didn't end up in a hospital for depression, the reason why I didn't fall further into the pit was because God was always holding me up and giving me His strength..
Life is easier, never said easy, when we trust in Him, when we cast our cares to Him.
We are nothing without God.
He's the creator of the Universe!
The moment I recognized that truth, I literally humbled myself.
The moment we do that, it's easier for us to open our hearts. And when we open our hearts, revelation comes.
Real strength comes from Him.
"God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect." ~Psalm18:32 (NLT Bible)
"You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me; your help has made me great. You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping." ~Psalm18:35-36(NLT Bible)
For many years, I went around with the attitude that if I had a problem, I have to deal with that problem myself. I usually didn't ask for help because I did feel that nobody was really interested in my problems. And in conclusion, no one could help me with my troubles.
There was a time, for many years, that I was undergoing depression. True, my depression wasn't chronic. But it didn't mean that there weren't times that I wanted to check myself into a hospital. And although I wasn't suicidal (because I know that taking your own life is a sin), there were times I didn't want to live. There were many days that I didn't even want to get out of bed to face the world. I believe I was like this for more than 5 years.
One day, I did break down. And for a week I was eating and I was crying alot.
That's when I decided to finally visit my doctor and try to convince him to give me a referral for bloodtests.
True, he didn't give me one. That's when I broke down in his office in tears. That's when he started talking to me about Jesus and telling me how much Jesus loved me. It's been years that I have heard anyone tell me that.
When I got home, I started to force some food into my belly. Although, I still wasn't hungry.
The doctor told me many things but what reigned the most was his words about a loving God.
My attitude did not change overnight.
It wasn't until late 2007 that I just had enough. Things were still not going too well for me and I was REALLY tired!
First of all, there were people that I was still angry at because of past wrongs they've done to me. And eventhough I said that I forgave them, I was still angry with them, which is not forgiving them at all. Then something in me clicked, I decided one day that it was best to start forgiving people and in the process, ask for forgiveness myself. That's where the healing began.
I then told God, "Lord, I'm really tired. I'm tired of trying to do everything my way. I'm tired of trying to figure everything out. I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm exhausted. In fact, I'm going to start doing things YOUR way. I'm going to start following YOUR flow. YOU lead me. I will follow."
Once I dedided that, things started to change for me.
I realized that when we try to do things in our own strength, frustration follows. But the moment we give our troubles to God and trust in Him to get us out, we can feel at peace with our circumstances.
I realized that the only reason why I didn't end up in a hospital for depression, the reason why I didn't fall further into the pit was because God was always holding me up and giving me His strength..
Life is easier, never said easy, when we trust in Him, when we cast our cares to Him.
We are nothing without God.
He's the creator of the Universe!
The moment I recognized that truth, I literally humbled myself.
The moment we do that, it's easier for us to open our hearts. And when we open our hearts, revelation comes.
Real strength comes from Him.
"God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect." ~Psalm18:32 (NLT Bible)
"You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me; your help has made me great. You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping." ~Psalm18:35-36(NLT Bible)