My brain is an asshole
Sometimes I find it hard to get to sleep.
Sometimes I get to sleep okay and find it hard to STAY asleep.
And sometimes my brain is just an asshole.
Last night was one of those times.
I have ADHD. That means, according to some, that my brain's executive function can't keep up with the rest of my brain, which then goes on to behave like a busful of toddlers let loose in a petting zoo. There are other theories, but that one has always made a lot of sense to me. Now think of the executive function as the one adult in charge of said busful of toddlers and you will understand why so many people with ADHD drink.
It leads to exchanges like this:
Me: Sleep time, yay!
Brain toddlers (BT): SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK I WANT TO PLAY ON THE SWINGS
Me: Executive Function, can you do something about these toddlers?
Executive Function (EF): Whu?
Me: The toddlers. They need to go to sleep. It's nap time.
EF: Oh, they'll go nap when they're ready.
BT: YAY, PONIES!
Me: I can't wait for them to decide for themselves when to take a nap. I need to get enough sleep to be functional in the morning. I have a full-day customer service symposium to attend, then get my hair cut.
EF: Well you shoulda thought of that before let the toddlers out.
Me: Let the... Excecutive Function, corralling the toddlers is your job, not mine.
EF: Well now they're out it's not like I can get them all back without tears and screaming. Maybe blood.
Me: Can you at least try?
BT: *are holding a spitting contest with the llamas, climbing the trees with the lemurs and fighting the puppies for their toys*
EF: *shrugs* Meh.
Me: Here, Executive Function, try this. *takes evening ADHD meds*
EF: *starts awake* ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE FUCKWADS FRONT AND CENTRE, IT'S FUCKING NAPTIME AND YOU WILL GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW
BT: *all fall asleep right where they are*
Me: There, that wasn't so hard, was it.
EF: Fuck you.
Posted via Vita HD for iPad.
Sometimes I get to sleep okay and find it hard to STAY asleep.
And sometimes my brain is just an asshole.
Last night was one of those times.
I have ADHD. That means, according to some, that my brain's executive function can't keep up with the rest of my brain, which then goes on to behave like a busful of toddlers let loose in a petting zoo. There are other theories, but that one has always made a lot of sense to me. Now think of the executive function as the one adult in charge of said busful of toddlers and you will understand why so many people with ADHD drink.
It leads to exchanges like this:
Me: Sleep time, yay!
Brain toddlers (BT): SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK I WANT TO PLAY ON THE SWINGS
Me: Executive Function, can you do something about these toddlers?
Executive Function (EF): Whu?
Me: The toddlers. They need to go to sleep. It's nap time.
EF: Oh, they'll go nap when they're ready.
BT: YAY, PONIES!
Me: I can't wait for them to decide for themselves when to take a nap. I need to get enough sleep to be functional in the morning. I have a full-day customer service symposium to attend, then get my hair cut.
EF: Well you shoulda thought of that before let the toddlers out.
Me: Let the... Excecutive Function, corralling the toddlers is your job, not mine.
EF: Well now they're out it's not like I can get them all back without tears and screaming. Maybe blood.
Me: Can you at least try?
BT: *are holding a spitting contest with the llamas, climbing the trees with the lemurs and fighting the puppies for their toys*
EF: *shrugs* Meh.
Me: Here, Executive Function, try this. *takes evening ADHD meds*
EF: *starts awake* ALRIGHT YOU LITTLE FUCKWADS FRONT AND CENTRE, IT'S FUCKING NAPTIME AND YOU WILL GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW
BT: *all fall asleep right where they are*
Me: There, that wasn't so hard, was it.
EF: Fuck you.
Posted via Vita HD for iPad.