(no subject)
I've realized that I haven't really written a meaningful update that hasn't had to do with my husband in a long time. I think I'm way over due for one, but do I have it in me, to still let things out in here, and not keep them bottled up? We'll have to see I guess.
This tour's been really great so far. Being on the road with Jason Mraz is a ton of fun, even though he's got a thing for me -laughs a little- I love his songs, and he's such a dork sometimes, but he's got this presence about him, that once he comes on stage, your eyes are glued to him, and he's got some antics, that'll just make you laugh your ass off for days to come. We'll definately have to get together again soon and do this again.
Next month I'm over in Japan for a good part of it. I think I'm going to take the babies with me, just due to the fact that I can't be that far away from them. While I'm still in the states, I can deal with Alex having them, because I know he loves them so much, and he treats them just like they were his own, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
I was afraid that I'd probably never find happiness again because I've got two little ones that depend on thier mother for everything. At first Alex looked like he felt a little out of place, but soon helping me with them, became like second nature to him, and I watched him change right infront of my eyes. And now he wants to adopt them... and I can't tell you how much I leaped for joy when I heard. That means the world to me.
Last night I talked with Taylor. It seems like of every person I know, Taylor's the one that it just comes to easily to open up to. I missed that. I missed him. We got close those TWO DAYS I was on the TTA tour opening up for them. He was awsome. So were Zac and Ike. Zac's awlays been so full of energy and that was the case then too. You had to watch out for that boy. Hopefully now that he's an "adult" he'll act more like one -laughs-
I'm sure some of you have felt something, or looked at something, and saw something that you were trying to forget, or, in my case, someone. -chews nervously on the inside of my lip- The other night, Alex and Taylor and myself were in a chat, and Alex made some comment, about how I wear the pants in this relationship, and how he does whatever I want him to, and I lost it. Tyson said almost those same exact things to me after we'd gotten married.
I don't want to be the one that wears the pants in the marraige, and I sure as hell don't want it to be Alex, but I want a joint partnership of the "pants" I want to be put in my place when I'm out of line, I'd like for him to get mad at me, when I say something that I should never have said. I don't want him to just shrug it off his back, and make some comment that we need to fight to be normal, and act like everything I said was okay.
Would you not be crushed, or at least hurt, and made it clear that you were REALLY hurt if say, you got married to someone, and that someone had children. And in the middle of the fight, that person turns to you and says you don't have to do a damn thing for THEIR child? And I do that, and yet, he acts as if it's nothing, but yet throws back at me that his mother considers Jeff and Sarah his and treats them like her own grandchildren.
I'm flawed, I'd like to be treated like I'm flawed. I want to be told to shut up when I say something completely out of line, and hurtful. I want to know that he cares enough to actually listen to what I'm saying, and to get upset about it. I WANT HIM TO STOP BEING TYSON ALREADY!
I'm going to go back a bag for myself and Sarah now. We've got a girls weekend planned with Rae this weekend, and right now, I need that more than anything. Maybe we could kidnap Taylor too. We could put a wig and a dress on him, and we could pass him as a chick....
This tour's been really great so far. Being on the road with Jason Mraz is a ton of fun, even though he's got a thing for me -laughs a little- I love his songs, and he's such a dork sometimes, but he's got this presence about him, that once he comes on stage, your eyes are glued to him, and he's got some antics, that'll just make you laugh your ass off for days to come. We'll definately have to get together again soon and do this again.
Next month I'm over in Japan for a good part of it. I think I'm going to take the babies with me, just due to the fact that I can't be that far away from them. While I'm still in the states, I can deal with Alex having them, because I know he loves them so much, and he treats them just like they were his own, and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.
I was afraid that I'd probably never find happiness again because I've got two little ones that depend on thier mother for everything. At first Alex looked like he felt a little out of place, but soon helping me with them, became like second nature to him, and I watched him change right infront of my eyes. And now he wants to adopt them... and I can't tell you how much I leaped for joy when I heard. That means the world to me.
Last night I talked with Taylor. It seems like of every person I know, Taylor's the one that it just comes to easily to open up to. I missed that. I missed him. We got close those TWO DAYS I was on the TTA tour opening up for them. He was awsome. So were Zac and Ike. Zac's awlays been so full of energy and that was the case then too. You had to watch out for that boy. Hopefully now that he's an "adult" he'll act more like one -laughs-
I'm sure some of you have felt something, or looked at something, and saw something that you were trying to forget, or, in my case, someone. -chews nervously on the inside of my lip- The other night, Alex and Taylor and myself were in a chat, and Alex made some comment, about how I wear the pants in this relationship, and how he does whatever I want him to, and I lost it. Tyson said almost those same exact things to me after we'd gotten married.
I don't want to be the one that wears the pants in the marraige, and I sure as hell don't want it to be Alex, but I want a joint partnership of the "pants" I want to be put in my place when I'm out of line, I'd like for him to get mad at me, when I say something that I should never have said. I don't want him to just shrug it off his back, and make some comment that we need to fight to be normal, and act like everything I said was okay.
Would you not be crushed, or at least hurt, and made it clear that you were REALLY hurt if say, you got married to someone, and that someone had children. And in the middle of the fight, that person turns to you and says you don't have to do a damn thing for THEIR child? And I do that, and yet, he acts as if it's nothing, but yet throws back at me that his mother considers Jeff and Sarah his and treats them like her own grandchildren.
I'm flawed, I'd like to be treated like I'm flawed. I want to be told to shut up when I say something completely out of line, and hurtful. I want to know that he cares enough to actually listen to what I'm saying, and to get upset about it. I WANT HIM TO STOP BEING TYSON ALREADY!
I'm going to go back a bag for myself and Sarah now. We've got a girls weekend planned with Rae this weekend, and right now, I need that more than anything. Maybe we could kidnap Taylor too. We could put a wig and a dress on him, and we could pass him as a chick....