(no subject)
last night i dreamt i was pulling and pulling bloody phlegm out of my mouth. like ropes of it. and then finally it was small red things like deflated balloons of varying sizes around the diameter of my palm. there was discussion over whether these were platelets.
then the phone rang at 4:25 am from "habayita". it's a boy, my mom said. and he looks just like benny. i started seeing benny in the nurses' arms when they were washing him down after he was born and how stunning he was. i can't believe people just come into the world like this. so suddenly and in the quiet of the night. i remember thinking about how cold he must have been, plucked out of this 98 degree bathtub he had only known to cool air all over his clean, dry body.
***
before all this happened, i was stood up for the first time in my life. it was kind of great in this way that i didn't really want to go on the date for so many reasons and then i didn't have to and i was really close to home and felt nauseous.
then the phone rang at 4:25 am from "habayita". it's a boy, my mom said. and he looks just like benny. i started seeing benny in the nurses' arms when they were washing him down after he was born and how stunning he was. i can't believe people just come into the world like this. so suddenly and in the quiet of the night. i remember thinking about how cold he must have been, plucked out of this 98 degree bathtub he had only known to cool air all over his clean, dry body.
***
before all this happened, i was stood up for the first time in my life. it was kind of great in this way that i didn't really want to go on the date for so many reasons and then i didn't have to and i was really close to home and felt nauseous.