Crotch Watching
Am I the only one who stares at guys’ cock in public. It isn’t like I intend to do so, just sort of happens. You know out in public guys grab and adjust and that is such a turn on. What is funny is that sometimes the guy isn’t that hott, it just appears that he has a big bulge. As I am writing I realize this will fit with the next entry. I know that I am equating the guys’ sexuality with acceptance, and comfort. In my mind if they give me that c*ck he will be there to protect me, and care for me. I really long for that, and don’t know where that is going to come from. What further complicates things is that I really have never sucked, it is just the idea of doing it that I am fascinated with. This is both ends of the spectrum, I want protection but I also want to control and that is what oral sex represents to me. How will I fix this? I have no clue, but it is different to see this and actually knowing I have to work on this some how.