(no subject)
Okay, LJ, I'm back again to work out some things that no one (not even you, Claire) needs to read.
Last week, I signed up to write the GMAT exam. This, for anyone reading this against my instructions, is the standardized test for getting into business school. It's necessary for going into a masters degree in business intelligence. However, I have not been doing well on the practice exams. In any set of questions, I average 60%. This is making me anxious and unsure of myself, but wouldn't really be a problem if I knew for sure that this course of action is what I want. Someone told me, back in June, that I should pick the most challenging course because it will be the most rewarding. At that time, and on my good days, I agree, but there's a big part of me that feels I shouldn't waste time and money getting a degree I don't need to get a job I don't know I want just because I'm struggling to figure out my place in the work force.
Furthermore, I have to select which degree programs I want to apply for prior to writing the GMAT, which I didn't realize. While I'm strongly considering York and MIT, at this point MIT doesn't seem likely based on my grades and York was more of a 'if I get a job in Toronto' option, not the best school I could pick.
Additionally, I realized when I woke up this morning that this week marks the opening of admissions for the certificate BI program offered by the college in Calgary. This would definitely not be the most challenging course for my life but it would allow me to dabble in the skills I'm curious about without needing to commit 2 years of my life, go into debt and move.
More importantly, I am, for the first time since all this began 4 months ago, really feeling ready to get back out into the working world. I am ready to make a contribution again. I still don't really feel like going back to school will allow me to do that. I don't know what I want my contribution to be exactly but generally I just want to be a respected part of a team of smart people doing work that will allow me to come home at the end of the day and have a life outside of work. I would be happy to do this in Ontario or Calgary.
I don't know if I can get a job outside of my field without going back to school. Everything I hear on the radio is about people getting laid off. Yesterday I finally got a call from that job in Mississauga confirming that I didn't get it. This plus my inability to figure out the answers to GMAT questions has really taken my confidence down a peg or two in the last week and I now hear about people getting laid off and imagine that they're smarter, harder working and more experienced than I am, so what chance do I stand of getting any work at all?
I can't figure out if I should cancel the GMAT. I can't decide if I should apply to SAIT. I can't figure out how to sell my skills to potential employers.
Last week, I signed up to write the GMAT exam. This, for anyone reading this against my instructions, is the standardized test for getting into business school. It's necessary for going into a masters degree in business intelligence. However, I have not been doing well on the practice exams. In any set of questions, I average 60%. This is making me anxious and unsure of myself, but wouldn't really be a problem if I knew for sure that this course of action is what I want. Someone told me, back in June, that I should pick the most challenging course because it will be the most rewarding. At that time, and on my good days, I agree, but there's a big part of me that feels I shouldn't waste time and money getting a degree I don't need to get a job I don't know I want just because I'm struggling to figure out my place in the work force.
Furthermore, I have to select which degree programs I want to apply for prior to writing the GMAT, which I didn't realize. While I'm strongly considering York and MIT, at this point MIT doesn't seem likely based on my grades and York was more of a 'if I get a job in Toronto' option, not the best school I could pick.
Additionally, I realized when I woke up this morning that this week marks the opening of admissions for the certificate BI program offered by the college in Calgary. This would definitely not be the most challenging course for my life but it would allow me to dabble in the skills I'm curious about without needing to commit 2 years of my life, go into debt and move.
More importantly, I am, for the first time since all this began 4 months ago, really feeling ready to get back out into the working world. I am ready to make a contribution again. I still don't really feel like going back to school will allow me to do that. I don't know what I want my contribution to be exactly but generally I just want to be a respected part of a team of smart people doing work that will allow me to come home at the end of the day and have a life outside of work. I would be happy to do this in Ontario or Calgary.
I don't know if I can get a job outside of my field without going back to school. Everything I hear on the radio is about people getting laid off. Yesterday I finally got a call from that job in Mississauga confirming that I didn't get it. This plus my inability to figure out the answers to GMAT questions has really taken my confidence down a peg or two in the last week and I now hear about people getting laid off and imagine that they're smarter, harder working and more experienced than I am, so what chance do I stand of getting any work at all?
I can't figure out if I should cancel the GMAT. I can't decide if I should apply to SAIT. I can't figure out how to sell my skills to potential employers.