Just Because You Need a Reason to Laugh on a Monday

Nov 27, 2006 10:36

  • Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
  • Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
  • Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
  • On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.
  • Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.
  • When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
  • Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.
  • A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
  • Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
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