Chuck Norris Facts
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
An Chuck Norris' personal favorite fact
They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter.
If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
An Chuck Norris' personal favorite fact
They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard