In Times Like These
Periodically I will sit back and take stock of my life -a virtual inventory, if you will - and the choices I've made over the years. Before I delve any deeper into this I should preface it by saying that I don't look back in regret, that's never been my modus operandi and never will be. Instead I occasionally will spend a few precious moments remembering the way things once were or more appropriately the way I once was. Some of these regressions are more pleasant than others of course, but as the sage old sitcom theme wisely told us, 'you take the good, you take the bad'.
An LJ friend posted about a conversation with his kids last night and I made an offhand response. That led to a response from his wife, a lady I've never interacted with who didn't know who I was. The LJ friend in question has been thus since my beginnings here on LJ and we've seen each other through a lot over those years. His wife's response was neither rudely intended nor rudely taken, it did however remind me of just how distant are these online "friendships" we are so fond of in this era.
After the interaction, I realized that the last time this LJ friend and I really talked was prior to his marriage, though I do recall that he was engaged on the occasion of our last conversation. Years ago we'd chat regularly about nearly any topic you might imagine and he was (and is) one of the kindest, most intelligent, most accepting, loving and understanding people I've been lucky enough to come to know through this medium. The same can be said for several people here on my LJ list, many of whom have been present in my Internet life for just as long.
In times like these I hate the Internet and how disposable the relationships it fosters can become if we allow it to be so. I would rather have never known some of the wonderful people I've met on LJ than to have allowed myself to lose touch with them as though they never existed. I blame myself for these infractions and refuse to allow the standard boilerplate excuses to fog the waters.
I was busy. I was in a bad relationship. I moved. I changed phone numbers. I moved again. I changed my username. I changed my phone number again.
At some point the excuses have to give way to reason and responsibility.
With that in mind, and if you are one of the people to whom this post seems to apply, please accept my apologies for not being a better friend. I've been tremendously successful and an equally tremendous failure at various aspects of my life, but on a personal level the only unforgivable sin for me is to have failed to be there when my friends needed me.
I'm sorry.