(no subject)
Hello.
First off, I am not Michael Serpent. My name is Maria, or 'greengrassbitch' to whom he might have referred to in some of his earlier entries. I... I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but I bring sad news. Very sad news.
Michael gave me the passwords to his LJ for one reason only. He wanted me to deliver you the message that... That he is no longer with us. I am crying as I write this, so I beg for your forgiveness if my language isn’t as good as it should be. He was my best friend, my working collegue and practically my brother. This was his last remaining wish, and I am fulfilling it now.
He told me to tell you (and now I'm translating his Finnish speech): "Even the most courageous of people can sometimes end up falling. Maria, remember to tell them that I did not make suicide. Tell them the truth... Tell them that I was very ill to begin with. Tell them that the war against my illness has finally been waged. And it is obvious now, which one of us has won."
He continued: "Tell Ines that I love her very, very much. Tell her that I love her so fucking much, love her more than anyone else in this godforsaken world. Tell her that I will watch over her, and I will keep on loving her, even though I am no longer here in this world. Tell her that I will get angry at her, very angry and sad, if she tries to do anything to hurt herself. Tell her to smile, tell her to keep on smiling no matter how much it hurts, no matter if her smile is a fake one instead of real. Tell her to be strong, always strong, for herself, and for me, too."
Now, Ines, whoever you are, I hope you received these words. Michael was maniacal about having them delivered. He spoke of you all the time, and even though I never learned who you really are, it was obvious to me that he had fallen in love with you.
To K: He has left no word for you here, since everything that had to be said, was said when you saw him the one last time. *hugs*
To ’Charlie’: ”There are no words to describe how much our friendship meant for me, although it has been a very long time since I last had the pleasure of talking to you. Forgive me, but I was not strong enough in the end. You were often my inspiration, and always in my thoughts. Take care, whatever it then may cost you.”
And to everyone else here in LJ: He tells you to ”keep on writing, as the fantasy world is one of the rare safe havens for us in this cruel and cold world. As long as diving into it gives you comfort and pleasure, just remember to do it.”
Michael said he won’t let me publish the remaining chapters of his stories Golden Snitch and Milk Is My Sugar. They will both remain unfinished. The rights to these stories he has left to Rotschopf. Exclusively.
Now I’m about finished here. My hands are trembling, and I don’t know if I have translated his speech well enough for anybody to understand. If you have questions, just comment on this entry. I will not reply to questions which I consider none of anybody’s but Michael’s business, but I’m sure he would be happy to know if at least some of you will always remember him with warmth and respect.
Finally, I have decided to include words from Michael’s favourite song, HIM’s ’The Path’. He was very fond of this song, and listened to it till the very end.
There is no turning back
From this unending path of mine
Serpentine and black
It stands before my eyes
To hell and back
It will lead me once more
It's all I have as I stumble in and out of grace
I see through the darkness
My way back home
The journey seems endless
But I'll carry on
The shadows will rise
And they will fall
And our night drowns in dawn
-Maria
First off, I am not Michael Serpent. My name is Maria, or 'greengrassbitch' to whom he might have referred to in some of his earlier entries. I... I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but I bring sad news. Very sad news.
Michael gave me the passwords to his LJ for one reason only. He wanted me to deliver you the message that... That he is no longer with us. I am crying as I write this, so I beg for your forgiveness if my language isn’t as good as it should be. He was my best friend, my working collegue and practically my brother. This was his last remaining wish, and I am fulfilling it now.
He told me to tell you (and now I'm translating his Finnish speech): "Even the most courageous of people can sometimes end up falling. Maria, remember to tell them that I did not make suicide. Tell them the truth... Tell them that I was very ill to begin with. Tell them that the war against my illness has finally been waged. And it is obvious now, which one of us has won."
He continued: "Tell Ines that I love her very, very much. Tell her that I love her so fucking much, love her more than anyone else in this godforsaken world. Tell her that I will watch over her, and I will keep on loving her, even though I am no longer here in this world. Tell her that I will get angry at her, very angry and sad, if she tries to do anything to hurt herself. Tell her to smile, tell her to keep on smiling no matter how much it hurts, no matter if her smile is a fake one instead of real. Tell her to be strong, always strong, for herself, and for me, too."
Now, Ines, whoever you are, I hope you received these words. Michael was maniacal about having them delivered. He spoke of you all the time, and even though I never learned who you really are, it was obvious to me that he had fallen in love with you.
To K: He has left no word for you here, since everything that had to be said, was said when you saw him the one last time. *hugs*
To ’Charlie’: ”There are no words to describe how much our friendship meant for me, although it has been a very long time since I last had the pleasure of talking to you. Forgive me, but I was not strong enough in the end. You were often my inspiration, and always in my thoughts. Take care, whatever it then may cost you.”
And to everyone else here in LJ: He tells you to ”keep on writing, as the fantasy world is one of the rare safe havens for us in this cruel and cold world. As long as diving into it gives you comfort and pleasure, just remember to do it.”
Michael said he won’t let me publish the remaining chapters of his stories Golden Snitch and Milk Is My Sugar. They will both remain unfinished. The rights to these stories he has left to Rotschopf. Exclusively.
Now I’m about finished here. My hands are trembling, and I don’t know if I have translated his speech well enough for anybody to understand. If you have questions, just comment on this entry. I will not reply to questions which I consider none of anybody’s but Michael’s business, but I’m sure he would be happy to know if at least some of you will always remember him with warmth and respect.
Finally, I have decided to include words from Michael’s favourite song, HIM’s ’The Path’. He was very fond of this song, and listened to it till the very end.
There is no turning back
From this unending path of mine
Serpentine and black
It stands before my eyes
To hell and back
It will lead me once more
It's all I have as I stumble in and out of grace
I see through the darkness
My way back home
The journey seems endless
But I'll carry on
The shadows will rise
And they will fall
And our night drowns in dawn
-Maria