I'M SO EMOTIONAL
This weekend, my emotions have been all over the place. I've been happy, I've been proud, but I've been angry, and I've been sad.
I was proud because after months of going in and out of therapy, I can finally say goodbye to the couch. I'd been seeing a counsellor for a number of reasons - family, friends, work - and during that time, I didn't feel comfortable discussing any of my issues with anyone, except for one person who knew, and stood by me all the way. I was finally able to put most of my problems and issues behind me, and move on. Yes, there are still issues to resolve, but in time, those wounds of the past will heal. Now, I will look forward, never back.
I was angry because someone I used to go to high school with, recently looked me up online. We hadn't spoken in 6 years (and for good reason). 6 years ago, I was still with my first boyfriend, and this friend tried - on more than one occasion - to flirt and hit on me. One day, in his house, he tried to kiss me, and touch my....well, you know, and he was successful. I pushed him off me, and told him to stay away from me, and for the last 6 years, he did. So, a few months ago, at the bus stop, coming home from work, he saw me, and I saw him, but we didn't speak. We continued to see each other there, and as I mentioned, he looked me up. We talked, and tried to put what happened behind us, then a few days ago, he tried it again! He thought, that since I wasn't with my boyfriend anymore, he could try to score with me, by once again flirting and hitting on me...does he think I'm that easy? I told him, that it didn't work then, and it wasn't going to work now. I had no sexual interest in him, and if that's all he was looking for from me, then he might as well just stop wasting his time. We haven't spoken for a few days....it might be another 6 years before we speak again.
I was sad because I was hoping to visit my best friend later this year (he lives in America, and I'm in Scotland), but due to scheduling conflicts, it may not happen. I've been trying to reschedule my time off, so I can see him, but I'm not getting anywhere :( I want to see him because it's been almost a whole year since we've actually seen each other, and I can't describe how much I really miss him. We talk online almost every day. We did talk on the phone a few months ago, and it was lovely to hear his voice again. Also, I have something I want to give him. Yeah, I could just mail it to him, but it wouldn't mean the same if I did that. I want to give it to him in person...it's something that I've held on to for a few months now, and it would mean a lot to me if I could give it to him myself.
And finally, I was happy because I read through some old IM conversations between me and someone very special to me, who's one of dearest and best friends (yes, the same friend as above lol). I read an IM conversation we had on my 25th birthday, back in November. Prior to that, we hadn't spoken for a few weeks due to a heated conversation we had, due to personal problems we were both having, where things were said and we blocked each other online and had no interaction at all for a while. When I read the full conversation, I started to tear up, because of the beautiful things he said. His words continue to brighten up my days and warm my heart. It's true what he said; what we have is special.....and forever :)
I was proud because after months of going in and out of therapy, I can finally say goodbye to the couch. I'd been seeing a counsellor for a number of reasons - family, friends, work - and during that time, I didn't feel comfortable discussing any of my issues with anyone, except for one person who knew, and stood by me all the way. I was finally able to put most of my problems and issues behind me, and move on. Yes, there are still issues to resolve, but in time, those wounds of the past will heal. Now, I will look forward, never back.
I was angry because someone I used to go to high school with, recently looked me up online. We hadn't spoken in 6 years (and for good reason). 6 years ago, I was still with my first boyfriend, and this friend tried - on more than one occasion - to flirt and hit on me. One day, in his house, he tried to kiss me, and touch my....well, you know, and he was successful. I pushed him off me, and told him to stay away from me, and for the last 6 years, he did. So, a few months ago, at the bus stop, coming home from work, he saw me, and I saw him, but we didn't speak. We continued to see each other there, and as I mentioned, he looked me up. We talked, and tried to put what happened behind us, then a few days ago, he tried it again! He thought, that since I wasn't with my boyfriend anymore, he could try to score with me, by once again flirting and hitting on me...does he think I'm that easy? I told him, that it didn't work then, and it wasn't going to work now. I had no sexual interest in him, and if that's all he was looking for from me, then he might as well just stop wasting his time. We haven't spoken for a few days....it might be another 6 years before we speak again.
I was sad because I was hoping to visit my best friend later this year (he lives in America, and I'm in Scotland), but due to scheduling conflicts, it may not happen. I've been trying to reschedule my time off, so I can see him, but I'm not getting anywhere :( I want to see him because it's been almost a whole year since we've actually seen each other, and I can't describe how much I really miss him. We talk online almost every day. We did talk on the phone a few months ago, and it was lovely to hear his voice again. Also, I have something I want to give him. Yeah, I could just mail it to him, but it wouldn't mean the same if I did that. I want to give it to him in person...it's something that I've held on to for a few months now, and it would mean a lot to me if I could give it to him myself.
And finally, I was happy because I read through some old IM conversations between me and someone very special to me, who's one of dearest and best friends (yes, the same friend as above lol). I read an IM conversation we had on my 25th birthday, back in November. Prior to that, we hadn't spoken for a few weeks due to a heated conversation we had, due to personal problems we were both having, where things were said and we blocked each other online and had no interaction at all for a while. When I read the full conversation, I started to tear up, because of the beautiful things he said. His words continue to brighten up my days and warm my heart. It's true what he said; what we have is special.....and forever :)