Michael Tucker's Restaurant Reviews
Upon our arrival back in beautiful San Francisco, my teammates Ray Durham and Pedro Feliz accompanied me to Farallon, a seafood restaurant in Union Square. Upon entering the restaurant, the first thing one notices is the over-the-top under the sea theme. The bar is jellyfish themed for God's sake! We were seated in the pool room, in which the lighting fixtures were made to look like sea urchins. I thought the ambiance was a little tacky, but Ray and Pedro enjoyed it. (Their tastes aren't as discriminating as mine.) I was also put off by the attire of some of my fellow diners. This issue was recently addressed in the San Francisco Chronicle and is a huge pet peeve of mine: why don't people dress up to go to classy restaurants anymore? I made sure that Ray and Pedro dressed appropriately for the evening, and then we had to spend the whole meal adjacent from some young yuppie artist punk couple wearing torn up jeans and a paint-splattered tee shirts and way too many accessories. Disgusting. Then Pedro complained the entire time about how I made him wear a tie when jeans were okay for others.
I started my meal off with the organic baby lettuce salad, while Ray and Pedro embarrassed me by sharing a Maine lobster salad. I enjoyed my salad, as the vinaigrette had just the right amount of bite to offset the sweet baby lettuce. Ray and Pedro complained that their salad was too small. I told them it was only meant for one person, not two cheapass ball players.
For my entree, I ordered the roasted Rhode Island black bass and it was divine. The bass was tender and practically melted in my mouth, but the spring onion soubise really made the meal. Pedro ordered the barbeque braised beef short ribs, which he raved about. Of course, I tasted it and wasn't especially impressed. The barbeque sauce was a little too tangy for my tastes. I don't know who orders barbeque at a place like that anyway. Ray ordered the grilled fillet of beef and initially said it was delicious. I asked him how he liked the red bone marrow butter and he spit out his food all over his plate and asked, "Bone marrow? What the fuck?!" Someone didn't even read the menu before he ordered so once again I was embarrassed by the manners of my teammates.
For dessert I ordered the pain perdu, which is peaches and berries topped with a Cognac mascarpone custard. The dessert was as delicious as I expected it to be and the chef should really be commended for the delectable custard. Pedro ordered the devil's food layer cake. He gobbled it down and ended up with fudge all over his face, so I suppose it was good. Ray chose the chocolate caramel tart because the thinks the word "tart" is really funny, but he barely ate it because he said he felt like vomiting because of the red marrow butter.
Overall I enjoyed my meal at Farallon and would love to go there again with my wife, who actually knows how to behave in an upscale dining establishment.
Final ratings for Farallon (one a scale from 1 grand slams to 5 grand slams):
Ambiance: 2 Grand Slams - Enough to beat the Rockies, but it is a little cheesy.
Food: 4 Grand Slams - My meal was excellent, but Pedro's barbeque dish did not impress me.
My fellow diners: 0 Grand Slams - About as many as Omar Vizquel has ever hit.
I started my meal off with the organic baby lettuce salad, while Ray and Pedro embarrassed me by sharing a Maine lobster salad. I enjoyed my salad, as the vinaigrette had just the right amount of bite to offset the sweet baby lettuce. Ray and Pedro complained that their salad was too small. I told them it was only meant for one person, not two cheapass ball players.
For my entree, I ordered the roasted Rhode Island black bass and it was divine. The bass was tender and practically melted in my mouth, but the spring onion soubise really made the meal. Pedro ordered the barbeque braised beef short ribs, which he raved about. Of course, I tasted it and wasn't especially impressed. The barbeque sauce was a little too tangy for my tastes. I don't know who orders barbeque at a place like that anyway. Ray ordered the grilled fillet of beef and initially said it was delicious. I asked him how he liked the red bone marrow butter and he spit out his food all over his plate and asked, "Bone marrow? What the fuck?!" Someone didn't even read the menu before he ordered so once again I was embarrassed by the manners of my teammates.
For dessert I ordered the pain perdu, which is peaches and berries topped with a Cognac mascarpone custard. The dessert was as delicious as I expected it to be and the chef should really be commended for the delectable custard. Pedro ordered the devil's food layer cake. He gobbled it down and ended up with fudge all over his face, so I suppose it was good. Ray chose the chocolate caramel tart because the thinks the word "tart" is really funny, but he barely ate it because he said he felt like vomiting because of the red marrow butter.
Overall I enjoyed my meal at Farallon and would love to go there again with my wife, who actually knows how to behave in an upscale dining establishment.
Final ratings for Farallon (one a scale from 1 grand slams to 5 grand slams):
Ambiance: 2 Grand Slams - Enough to beat the Rockies, but it is a little cheesy.
Food: 4 Grand Slams - My meal was excellent, but Pedro's barbeque dish did not impress me.
My fellow diners: 0 Grand Slams - About as many as Omar Vizquel has ever hit.