(no subject)
I had a shitty game today. I don't really want to talk about it. That fucking Ellison is really on fire so I'm starting to get really worried my minimal playing time will be reduced to almost nothing. I don't see Ellison hitting game-winning grand slams, but whatever man.
On a more positive note: today Omar comes into the clubhouse with a shopping bag. Brett Tomko is walking behind him pushing a safe on a dolly.
"You see this?" Omar asks. "This is my new pink shirt. Someone keeps stealing my shirts. Please don't steal them anymore guys."
"Why would anyone want your pink shirts?" I scoff. "Stop making a scene, we're preparing for a game."
Omar blinks. "Tuck, people are stealing my shirts right out from under my nose. And they are stealing my snacks. That is why Brett has this safe. The safe contains snacks but only I know the combination. If you want snacks, ask me. It's very easy. I want everyone to have snacks. I don't want a few people eating most of them. OK?"
"Someone's taking himself a little too seriously," I laugh and return to shining my head in the mirror.
A few minutes later, I approach Omar. "Hey man, I heard you have some fruit roll-ups in that safe. Can I have one?"
Omar beams, as this is the first time I have acknowledged his insane snack obsession.
"Sure Tuck! We have raspberry, strawberry and tropical punch. Which one would you like? You can try all three if you want!"
"Uh, the second one you said.. that sounds good." I watch him unlock the safe, then snatch the fruit roll-up. "Thanks man," I say and walk away.
I then walked out to BP, where the whole team is standing around watching Lance Niekro spin a bat on top of his head. "Hey guys, Omar said we should eat all of the snacks before they go stale. The combo to the safe is 30-24-17."
I then hand the Nordstrom's bag holding the new pink shirt to a kid in the front row. "Hey kid, give this to your mom or something." He asks for a souvenir ball so I sign one with Ray Durham's name before returning to the locker room to bathe in the sweet smell of success.
On a more positive note: today Omar comes into the clubhouse with a shopping bag. Brett Tomko is walking behind him pushing a safe on a dolly.
"You see this?" Omar asks. "This is my new pink shirt. Someone keeps stealing my shirts. Please don't steal them anymore guys."
"Why would anyone want your pink shirts?" I scoff. "Stop making a scene, we're preparing for a game."
Omar blinks. "Tuck, people are stealing my shirts right out from under my nose. And they are stealing my snacks. That is why Brett has this safe. The safe contains snacks but only I know the combination. If you want snacks, ask me. It's very easy. I want everyone to have snacks. I don't want a few people eating most of them. OK?"
"Someone's taking himself a little too seriously," I laugh and return to shining my head in the mirror.
A few minutes later, I approach Omar. "Hey man, I heard you have some fruit roll-ups in that safe. Can I have one?"
Omar beams, as this is the first time I have acknowledged his insane snack obsession.
"Sure Tuck! We have raspberry, strawberry and tropical punch. Which one would you like? You can try all three if you want!"
"Uh, the second one you said.. that sounds good." I watch him unlock the safe, then snatch the fruit roll-up. "Thanks man," I say and walk away.
I then walked out to BP, where the whole team is standing around watching Lance Niekro spin a bat on top of his head. "Hey guys, Omar said we should eat all of the snacks before they go stale. The combo to the safe is 30-24-17."
I then hand the Nordstrom's bag holding the new pink shirt to a kid in the front row. "Hey kid, give this to your mom or something." He asks for a souvenir ball so I sign one with Ray Durham's name before returning to the locker room to bathe in the sweet smell of success.