It's been a while, so I thought I'd check in....
I've been on kind of a personal journey- back in the day, I would have journaled it, but now, the journal is the pulpit, so the cathartic rantings and anquished cries of confusion that once found themselves scribbled in pencil, only to have the pages then glued shut so that no one could read them.... those words no longer find their way onto paper, or web page. Those thoughts stay in the mix-master in my mind.
It's been quite a summer. The world at work is upside down, so I'm hanging on while I try to find the floor and put all the shit in proper piles. Nothing really gets done, reports come out that say we do a lousy job, and then I get rebates in excess of $5 Million dollarts two years in a row and awards that say we have the best run program. All of this, of course, comes without any recognition of my personal contributions.
What's happening at home is a mystery. I like to think that Chris and I are building what can be a strong friendship, but we're building it with some shakey materials, stuff that we damaged in our relationship, and we have to be careful if we're gonna make it. I don't know what his next steps are at this point, and so, I don't really know what mine are either.
I went to Burning Man, on my own, without the benefit of the theme camps that I've gone with before, and I found a whole new world (cue Alladin and Jasmine on the magic carpet). Apparently, on any given trip to the desert, I had been missing about 10,000 parties that were going on simultaneously, in favor of doing what others wanted to do, and not following my muse. I spent the week in independent bliss, met tons of new people and had a blast - learning lots about myself along the way.
And of course, I fell hopelessly in love, with a young straight couple from Brooklyn, who together tugged at every single one of the invisible strings that are attached in some way to my old, battered heart. It's the best new friendship that I've had in a long time.
It's been quite a summer. The world at work is upside down, so I'm hanging on while I try to find the floor and put all the shit in proper piles. Nothing really gets done, reports come out that say we do a lousy job, and then I get rebates in excess of $5 Million dollarts two years in a row and awards that say we have the best run program. All of this, of course, comes without any recognition of my personal contributions.
What's happening at home is a mystery. I like to think that Chris and I are building what can be a strong friendship, but we're building it with some shakey materials, stuff that we damaged in our relationship, and we have to be careful if we're gonna make it. I don't know what his next steps are at this point, and so, I don't really know what mine are either.
I went to Burning Man, on my own, without the benefit of the theme camps that I've gone with before, and I found a whole new world (cue Alladin and Jasmine on the magic carpet). Apparently, on any given trip to the desert, I had been missing about 10,000 parties that were going on simultaneously, in favor of doing what others wanted to do, and not following my muse. I spent the week in independent bliss, met tons of new people and had a blast - learning lots about myself along the way.
And of course, I fell hopelessly in love, with a young straight couple from Brooklyn, who together tugged at every single one of the invisible strings that are attached in some way to my old, battered heart. It's the best new friendship that I've had in a long time.