happiness, more or less.
i am totally giddy with excitement as the bf will be here in SIX HOURS. i haven't seen him since november which seems like ages ago given all the dramatics having occured in my life since then.
i was on the bus yesterday en route to gramma's and this lady sat next to me in the aisle seat. i usually pay no heed to other passengers as they're usually annoying and try to take up more than their share of seat, but the lady who sat next to me rested her hands up on the backside of the seat in front of her. when i caught a glimpse of them i felt my eyes tear up. her hands were exactly like my gramma's, like EXACTLY. she was the perfect shade of brown and wore a gold bracelet on her right wrist just like my gramma. i kept stealing glances, making sure her face never entered my vision because just for a second i imagined my gramma next to me and those few moments were so good. so much so that i had to fight the urge to reach out and touch her. i sat there, next to the window and like a crazy person was conjuring up "accidental" ways that my hand could graze hers. i didn't work up the nerve to do it, but if given the chance again i'm totally taking it. yeah, it sounds incredibly silly but i can't even begin to explain how happy my heart was to see those hands.
the last time i saw todd my gramma was still alive. i'd like to rewind and press pause and just savor the feeling of that weekend.
and the countdown continues....