Comments | micaturtle: Marriage? Mica? umm...

micaturtle

Marriage? Mica? umm...

Apr 10, 2009 11:52

I meant to post this earlier this week, but I got really busy at work. IOWA ALLOWS GAY MARRIAGE NOW!
Iowa doesn't have a residency requirement for marriage licenses, and it's close enough to south dakota (about an 1/2 hour away) that Jenn (soliloquy) and I could go and get married if we wanted to. So, this brings up an interesting dilemma. Here it is ( Read more... )

jenn, love, marriage, life altering event, question

Comments 40

animatrocor April 10 2009, 17:43:28 UTC

Honestly, I never thought marriage rly proved anything, esp love. If you rly love Jenn it is based on your feelings, not on a marriage certificate. If you are doubting it at awl, then nobody ish making you do it!

Just do what you feel is good for botha you. If you rly know each other rly well, live together etc. then you can still be commonlaws. Just don't believe you havesta get married just cuz you feel you need to!

Either way I am very happy for botha you! You sound rly happy together 8D

micaturtle April 14 2009, 16:51:09 UTC

Thanks so much, sango (corky? Coral? gah, I never know what 2 address u as)
It's true, love is based on feelings, not a marriage certificate.
I appreciate your two cents.
Also, Jenn was trying to read your reply while she was tipsy on saturday night and she was all like "Wow! This reads much easier when drunk!" hee hee. Yayz for silly spellinz! ;D

(The comment has been removed)

micaturtle April 14 2009, 16:56:19 UTC

Thanks for your imput, Kaz. I need to remember what you say about not making any impulsive decisions (as us mikey-types are wont to do)
You have a long term boyfriend (from what I recollect) do you think you will marry him someday? Why or why not?

Thanks!

greenwillow27 April 10 2009, 18:34:17 UTC

Marriage is really about planning a whole life together. It isn't really about being in love (though that is the #1 prerequisite) or liking the same movies and books and vacation places and stuff (though that's an important thing, too.)
It's about having the same values and the same life goals. Where do you want to live (country? city? France?) How do you want to live? Do you want kids? Where are you both going and where do you hope to be in 10, 20 years?
Like Kaz said, it's not something to do just cuz you can. There should be a lot of communication before any decisions happen.

soliloquy April 11 2009, 00:45:53 UTC

Thank you for this reply. I completely agree with it, and have already told Mica that we need to have one of these values and life goals situations to see how well they mesh, or don't for that matter to see what can or can't be compromised on.

I think I am going to make a list of these important questions and issues with Mica's help, because she and I have a lot to think about. :-)

I have to say, I wish I had the foresight to have this conversation with my ex-husband, Simon, before we even got engaged. It would have saved us both from a lot of frustration and problems that could have been so easily avoided.

Take care,
Jenn

micaturtle April 14 2009, 16:58:54 UTC

Thanks for the suggestion, GW. I am going to do this.

If you don't mind me asking, why did you get married? (sorry if it's too prying, then just tell me and I'll accept that as an answer)

pimpypantsmcgee April 10 2009, 19:02:14 UTC

Personally, I think marriage is a ridiculous institution. It basically is just like telling the government that "O HAI WE LIEK EACH OTHER A WHOLE LOT" and getting special treatment for it - as long as you don't ever change your mind. But it also creates a legal situation that is expensive and retarded to extricate oneself from should the situation ever change ( ... )

micaturtle April 14 2009, 17:03:33 UTC

Thanks for the input.
It's good to hear from both sides.
Your opinion kinda matches mine on marriage, but it's slowly been changing. *sai* I wish life wasnt so complicated.

pimpypantsmcgee April 14 2009, 17:40:58 UTC

Life doesn't have to be complicated! You don't have to shut yourself into a little box!

Durable power of attorney is the shit :)

aloneindarknes7 April 10 2009, 19:58:54 UTC

It's a great thing that you have the opportunity to do such a thing now but honestly it's up to both you and Jenn. I mean, the factt hat you agree with my thinking that marriage doesn't really prove your love for someone else is great but then again it would be nice to be able to say that you have a wife. Still whatever you decide, it really just matters that you two are both happy with each other!~ <3

micaturtle April 14 2009, 17:07:07 UTC

thanks for your feedback, dudette. Your statement of "would be nice to be able to say that you have a wife." really sums it up for me. Thanks for helping me summarize