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I've entered a strange mentality that is making me progressively more depressed. Actually, I've rediscovered what I knew this summer, living completely free and in tune with the world (both human and natural, I'd say), but this time I'm trapped in an institutionalized reality where only a few people can or could understand the world as I do. It's frustrating. I can't relate to what most people talk about here, or how they talk about it, or more importantly why they talk about it. Okay, I'm exaggerating from basically how my day was with the crew team. I just can't connect with any of them, it seems, but I'm not sure if that's their fault or mine. Am I just being brutally pessimistic about society, or are they really just that ridiculous? Are most of the people I know here like that? I can't really remember because I spent so much time with the team today-- the rest of life kind of faded away for the day; especially since my mom and STELLA came up to our race in Portland. I love Stella so much, and I miss her. [Pishaa, forget my mom...]
I'm trying to express that my view of humanity and its history has changed quite a bit over the past week, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to have much fun any more because of it. I had decided, after many weeks here being depressed about the state of this community, to just fuck it and have fun. I shouldn't always be worried about the state of the human race and its neglect of the earth it inhabits, and college is here for enjoy. And for that matter, life! So I just let go for a while, and did indeed start to have a LOT of fun with everyone. Now, though, this excellent and dangerous book about the folly of technology and civilization that I finished this week has effectively altered my mindset once again. Now I'm just more detached from those around me who don't seem to care about the things that I do-- isn't that what empathy is supposed to be?
Ah! I must go to meet one of the few people who understand. Relief.
I'm trying to express that my view of humanity and its history has changed quite a bit over the past week, and I'm afraid that I won't be able to have much fun any more because of it. I had decided, after many weeks here being depressed about the state of this community, to just fuck it and have fun. I shouldn't always be worried about the state of the human race and its neglect of the earth it inhabits, and college is here for enjoy. And for that matter, life! So I just let go for a while, and did indeed start to have a LOT of fun with everyone. Now, though, this excellent and dangerous book about the folly of technology and civilization that I finished this week has effectively altered my mindset once again. Now I'm just more detached from those around me who don't seem to care about the things that I do-- isn't that what empathy is supposed to be?
Ah! I must go to meet one of the few people who understand. Relief.