Running (Chapter 37) - End

[micah88]

Title: Running
Pairing: Yoosu, ChangKi, Yunjae
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Comedy
Quotes:
"There is no such thing as [running] forever."



“Let’s go home,” Jaejoong smiled lightly. He gave Xiah an encouraging smile before turning to leave, pulling Yunho with him. Yunho’s head was lowered and he did not turn around to look at Xiah. He allowed Jaejoong to lead him away.

Kibum took the hint and quickly ran to take Changmin’s hand. “Let’s go.”

Before pulling Changmin out, he put the pink handkerchief in Xiah’s hand, giving the man a quick squeeze on the hand for support.

And then they were alone. In the shrine. Yoochun stood at the door and Xiah stood in the corner near his brother’s memorial. Too far apart.

Yoochun took one step closer and broke the eye contact so he could look at the memorials. “That was the best picture I could find of them.”

Xiah took a step away from the memorials (towards Yoochun) so that he wasn’t blocking the older man’s view of the memorials.

“They’re good pictures,” he murmured softly, trying to prevent his voice from shaking. The atmosphere was so heavy, so awkward, and Xiah wasn’t sure what he should be doing right now.

Silence.

“Yeah,” Yoochun murmured, wondering if Kibum had wiped away all the blood on his face. He suddenly felt self-conscious, really self-conscious.

“So…,” Xiah paused. He glanced over at the memorial, “Did you know her? What was she like?”

Stupid question. He didn’t want to ask those questions right now. He wanted to do something else. But what?

Follow your heart.

Yoochun understood that Xiah was probably being flooded with emotions right now. He’d be patient. “I heard that she really loved flowers…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. Xiah ran towards him and nearly tackled him onto the floor. But he managed to remain standing and lost his breath in the tight embrace.

And for the first time, in a very long time, Yoochun smiled happily, completely happy. He wrapped his arms around the shorter man and never wanted to let go.

“I love you,” Xiah whispered against his cheek, lips brushing against a bruise that was beginning to form.

Yoochun felt his eyes moisten and called himself an ‘idiot’ for wanting to cry. “I love you,” Yoochun whispered in reply. He hugged Xiah tighter, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

=====

“Yunho will warm up to you…eventually,” Jaejoong smiled kindly at Yoochun. Then he glanced at the list in Yoochun’s hand, “What are you doing?”

“This is a list of people I…owe from my past. I’ve killed countless people. They were drug dealers or were involved in some sort of illegal trade. This is a list of people that have been hurt in the process; parents, wives, children. It’s too late for me to fix what I’ve done, but I can still try to make it up to these people.”

Jaejoong smiled because he saw the genuine kindness in Yoochun’s expression. The man wasn’t just saying nor doing this to put up a façade; he spoke from the heart.

After that day at the temple, Xiah had opened up to Jaejoong about remembering the past and told him all the things Yoochun had done for Xiah during that period of time. It was so sweet and romantic that Jaejoong almost (almost) teared up. “Let me know if you need any help.”

“Thank you, but I’m going to try to figure it out myself,” Yoochun paused. “I should start with finding a job first though.”

Jaejoong nodded in understanding as he walked back to the stove to check on the soup.

“It smells so good!” Kibum sang as he entered the kitchen, dragging a smiling Changmin along. Yoochun checked his watch. It’d taken Kibum twenty minutes to wake Changmin up (Yoochun was sure he didn’t want to know about the process of it).

“Where are Xiah and Jung?” the taller man inquired. He wasn’t exactly on a first-name-basis with Yunho yet.

“They went to pick up something for me. Take a seat. Breakfast is almost ready,” Jaejoong invited.

“Thanks for coming over so early to make breakfast,” Kibum grinned.

“You’re welcome,” Jaejoong replied. “By the way, I saw the magazine in your living room. You’re a fan of those brand names too?”

“Yes!” Kibum cheered. “They’ve got good quality and aren’t too expensive! Have you seen this season’s trends?”

The two continued on about the latest fashion while Changmin joined Yoochun at the table. “How’d you sleep last night?”

“Good,” Yoochun replied. “Except it was much quieter at the temple.”

Changmin’s face turned a shade of red and Yoochun was amused.

=====

“Here, let me help you.”

“No, I’ve got it.”

“I can carry them.”

“I’ve got them.”

“Xiah, give me two of those bags,” Yunho demanded, eyeing the five grocery bags that the younger man was carrying.

“Yunho, it’s fine. I’ve got them.”

The older man frowned. “Are you trying to punish yourself?”

“What?” Xiah wouldn’t look at Yunho.

“Those bags are heavy and yet you won’t let me help you. It’s a long walk to the car.”

“I’m fine…”

“You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to feel bad,” Yunho interrupted. “Punishing yourself…in any way and trying to make it up to me…is useless. It’s not necessary.”

Xiah’s head lowered. “I’m sorry.”

Yunho sighed, leading Xiah aside so that they weren’t standing in the middle of the store’s entrance. “For what?”

“I don’t know,” he murmured softly.

“I know,” Yunho spoke and Xiah raised his head, shocked by the tone and emotion in the older man’s voice. “I know why. You think I’m angry that you’ve forgiven Park and you want to be with him. You’re also guilty because I’ve quit my job.”

Xiah’s head lowered again, nodding to confirm Yunho’s words. “You love being a cop, but…you gave it up. You can’t be a cop if you let…someone like Yoochun off the hook like that. You wouldn’t be able to put on your badge without feeling like you’re lying to the World, to yourself.”

“I did love being a cop, but it’s not the most important part of my life. I’m letting Yoochun go and I won’t allow myself to be called a defender of crime because of that,” Yunho confirmed Xiah’s worries. “But there are other jobs in this world. I can excel at anything I put my mind too.”

“Yunho…”

“There are more important things in life. Your happiness is more important to me than my job. Junho would want you to be happy too. And…as much as I hate to admit it…Park Yoochun isn’t a bad person. I…I can see that he truly loves you. And he technically saved all of our lives; yours, mine…and Jaejoong’s by risking his own life to kill Bae.”

Xiah blinked because he didn’t want to cry. “You don’t hate me?”

Yunho felt his heart soften, like it always did for Xiah; like an older brother’s heart would soften for his younger sibling. “I could never hate you. I’ve thought it over and…this is how I want it to be. This is how it should be.”

“You really don’t hate me?”

Yunho sighed, smiling at Xiah’s childish expression. “I hope you don’t hate me for what I’ve done. I used you to get to Shim. I invaded your privacy by going through your stuff.”

“You wanted to protect me…”

“I wanted revenge. Jaejoong was right; I was blinded by the revenge and guilt. But…it’s over now. I spent a lot of time thinking through everything and…I’m glad the truth is out and we’ve both let go of the past. Let’s focus on the future now.”

Xiah’s lips grew into a grin. He nodded happily, “Okay!”

“Now let me help you,” Yunho smiled.

“Here, you take three,” Xiah shoved the three bags into Yunho’s arms and held onto two. “Let’s go!”

Yunho nodded and followed Xiah as he ran towards the parking lot across the street. The younger man looked so happy, so content and Yunho felt that it was worth it. Now, with a mind cleared from revenge and guilt, Yunho could see what Junho would see. Junho would see his little brother happy and he would be happy.

Yunho could see that Park Yoochun really loves Xiah. That doesn’t mean Yunho would stop keeping a close eye on Park though. Because no matter how hard he tries, Yunho can’t forget that there is no physical evidence that Park had done a good thing when he killed Junho. There was no evidence; everything was based off of Park and Shim’s words.

Or maybe Yunho is just thinking too much. He’s been a cop for so many years; old habits are hard to break free from.

“Hyung, hurry!” Xiah laughed.

Yunho pushed the thought away. All he needs to know is that Xiah is happy.

=====

“Dinner was nice.”

“Jaejoong is a really good cook.”

Silence.

Yoochun turned the wheel with his right hand and the car swerved into the parking lot. His left hand was holding onto Xiah’s right hand. He’d been holding onto it ever since they got into Changmin’s car and began to drive towards the nearby park.

Yoochun parked the vehicle and turned off the engine. He opened the door to get out, which required letting go of Xiah’s hand. He felt reluctant and Xiah looked reluctant. But they still released each other in order to exit the car.

Yoochun reached into his pocket to pull out the small gift, keeping his hand closed to cover the shining silver. Then he slowly walked to the front of the car where Xiah was waiting. They jumped on top of the car’s front and lied on their backs (careful to not cause any scratches or Changmin would kill them).

Silence continued to stretch as they lied, side by side, staring up at the stars.

Yoochun glanced down at his fist (he’d purposely laid it in the space between their bodies) and saw Xiah’s fidgeting hand. Xiah was hesitant about whether he should hold Yoochun’s hand again. Would it make him seem too clingy?

Yoochun tried not to laugh as he stole a glance at Xiah’s troubled expression. The younger man’s troubled expression was then followed by one of gathered courage and determination. He extended his hand over to grab Yoochun’s hand again.

Yoochun unclenched his fist and positioned his hand so that his palm was faced up, exposing the necklace.

Xiah’s eyes widened in shock when he felt the item between his and Yoochun’s palms. He sat up too fast and nearly slipped off the vehicle’s shiny surface. Yoochun leapt up to grab him so that he didn’t fall.

Xiah obviously didn’t care that he could have gotten hurt if he fell. He just kept staring at the necklace that Yoochun was holding. “What is that?”

Yoochun smiled and held the necklace up so that the pendant was swinging like a pendulum, reflecting the beautiful moon’s light. “I was supposed to give this to you on your birthday…the fake birthday.”

Xiah raised his hand to gently touch the pendant, allowing his index finger to trace the curve of the ‘J’. “This certainly beats the homemade lollipop.”

Yoochun burst into a laugh. “Can I put it on for you?”

Xiah’s lips formed a wide grin and he turned his back to Yoochun. The older man carefully placed the necklace around his neck. “I love it,” he murmured with gratitude.

“I should have gotten an ‘X’…”

“No, this is good. I actually like being called ‘Junsu’ so…keep calling me that,” Xiah turned his body so that he was facing Yoochun again.

“Am I allowed to call you other names too?” the older man tilted his head cutely. “Like…‘boyfriend’.”

Xiah’s grin grew wider and he pulled the older man into an embrace. It felt so natural, so perfect. “Thank you, Yoochun…for everything.”

Yoochun laid his chin on the top of Xiah’s hair, liking the smell of lavender shampoo. “Thank you, Junsu.”

They sat in silence, except it was a comfortable silence this time. The wind grew a little stronger and Xiah snuggled closer.

“I have a question.”

“Hmm?” Yoochun hummed. He’d gotten so comfortable while sitting on the car’s front and hugging Xiah that he’d almost fallen asleep.

“If you wrote those postcards, then how did you know about the amusement park and the clown?”

“I was there,” Yoochun replied, his thumb drawing circles on Xiah’s back. “After straightening things out with Kibum, he left and I went to find you and Changmin. Before leaving, you were talking about the new one and begging to go to that one so I didn’t have trouble finding the both of you.”

“Why didn’t you join us?”

“I don’t know. I just…felt like watching from afar and I wanted to give you and Changmin some alone time. I wanted him to see why I had fallen in love with you and why he should stop trying to pull me away.”

Xiah hugged Yoochun tighter at the thought of being separated from him. “Oh.”

“Yeah, so I just remained hidden. I saw the whole fight with the clown…”

“There wasn’t a ‘fight’.”

“You took his balloons and…”

“I set them free,” Xiah defended. “And he was mean anyway.”

Yoochun chuckled at the younger man’s childish tone. “Anyway, after the…incident with the clown, I saw you hug Changmin. You ran off with the candy, but he just stood there looking shocked and…paranoid.”

“Why?”

“He’s never been hugged before. And…probably didn’t want anyone to know that he enjoyed it. Changmin, being Changmin, finally sensed that someone was watching him and he was looking around so I left before he could catch me.”

Xiah hummed softly as if understanding everything now. He yawned and Yoochun chuckled. “Let’s get you home before Yunho and Jaejoong worry.”

Xiah refused to let go. “Just a little longer.”

Yoochun smiled as he ran a hand through Xiah’s soft hair, “It’s okay, Boyfriend. We have a whole forever ahead of us.”

=====

I have an exam and a project due tomorrow so I'm sorry that I can't properly reply to everyone's messages. But I did read them all and they really motivated me to write (which is why I'm sneaking away from HW/Studying to post these last chapters).
Thank you so much everyone!
I'll be taking care of myself during this tough time and I hope you all are taking good care of yourselves too! Eat lots, sleep more, and study hard! Hwaiting!

P.S.
This is the last chapter. The epilogue does not contain any sweet Yoosu/Yunjae/Minbum moments so it's OPTIONAL. Again, reading the Epilogue is OPTIONAL, my dears. That's all I have to say about that.

And, my usual ending:
Thank you to each and every one of you who supported this story. Thank you for your feedbacks in helping me improve and allowing me to make friends with fellow Yoosu/Yunjae/ChangKi/DBSK lovers!

SPREAD THE YOOSU LOVE!!!
And ALWAYS SMILE!
Remember, 'HAPPY HAPPY!

Chapter 38 // Epilogue