Running (Chapter 33)
Title: Running
Pairing: Yoosu, ChangKi, Yunjae
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Comedy
Quotes:
"There is no such thing as [running] forever."
“Jun…Xiah,” Changmin greeted. He glared at Yunho and Jaejoong. Those bastards had not let Xiah know that they had been badgering Changmin for weeks about Yoochun’s whereabouts. But now they were so desperate that they were going to use Xiah?
Not knowing what else to say, the three sat down at their own table. Xiah was in the chair that allowed him to see Changmin; Yunho sat to his right; Jaejoong sat next to Yunho (his back towards Changmin).
“What do you want to eat?” Yunho acted like the atmosphere wasn’t suffocating everyone.
Xiah tried to focus on the menu. And suddenly every single dish reminded him of Yoochun.
Fish? Yoochun didn’t like fish. Beef? Yoochun always said that milk is healthy. Pork? Does Yoochun like pork?
Changmin tried not to look at the other table and started fiddling with the utensils. Thankfully, Kibum returned shortly from the restroom to accompany Changmin.
Or maybe it wasn’t a good thing…
“Junsu!” Kibum ran over and pulled Xiah into a hug.
Changmin stared and wondered if Xiah would push Kibum away. He didn’t. He looked like he enjoyed the hug. Has he forgiven Kibum for siding with Changmin and Yoochun?
“Hi, how are you?”
“Good, what about you? You look so thin,” Kibum touched Xiah’s cheek, softly because the man looked so fragile.
“Not really,” Xiah smiled lightly. His eyes shifted to Changmin and quickly looked away when their eyes connected. “Um…are you two on a date? We won’t bother you.”
Kibum looked sad when Xiah pulled out of the embrace, but he understood. He just…really missed his good friend. “Okay, enjoy your dinner.”
He gave a small nod to Yunho and Jaejoong (out of courtesy) before returning to Changmin. Kibum purposely sat in the seat between Changmin and the other table, so that Changmin can avoid seeing Xiah.
Dinner that night wasn’t pleasant at all.
=====
“Feeling better?”
“Do you think they brought Xiah because they wanted to make me feel guilty? Or do you think they expect me to tell Yoochun about seeing Xiah and Yoochun will appear? That means they know that Yoochun loves Xiah, right? But how would they know? Maybe Xiah figured it out and Xiah told them…but that means Xiah is using Yoochun’s love to lure him out…to arrest him.”
“Changmin, just rest for tonight. You’re tired.”
Changmin sighed, taking in the comfort of Kibum’s encouraging eyes. “I just wish…”
“I know,” Kibum whispered softly, leaning forward so that their foreheads rested against each other. “I know.”
Changmin closed his eyes. If only they knew…
=====
Xiah felt the sweat trickle down the side of his face, leaving a trail of memory. The dream. The dream was so horrible. It wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare.
[D.r.e.a.m]
“Kill him! He deserves it!” the voice shouted. Whose voice is it? Xiah couldn’t recognize the voice. “Kill him!”
Xiah saw darkness first. Then he blinked and saw a much scarier vision. Yoochun was right in front of him, several feet away, tied to a chair and unconscious.
“Kill him!” the voice shouted again.
Xiah looked around, searching for the owner of the voice. He saw no one, nothing…
Then he noticed the gun in his hand. Why did he have the gun in his hand?
“He’s right in front of you! Kill him!” the voice commanded.
Xiah’s heart raced when his arm suddenly aimed the gun towards Yoochun. His finger was on the trigger. He just needed to…
“Kill him!” came the voice, much louder and closer. It scared Xiah and he pulled the trigger.
His eyes widened as he watched the bullet pierce through Yoochun’s body. The man in the chair woke up from the impact and the pain; he raised his head to stare at Xiah. He smiled and Xiah cried.
Just like his arm had unconsciously aimed the gun without his control, the tears began to fall.
“No,” Xiah gasped. He dropped the gun and ran to Yoochun. “Yoochun! Yoochun!”
Yoochun’s eyes were starting to close and the blood wouldn’t stop. “You did it. You got your revenge,” he spoke in the familiar deep voice.
And Xiah realized that it was the same voice. Yoochun had told Xiah to kill him. Why didn’t he recognize the voice before?
“No! No! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t want to. I didn’t,” Junsu pressed his hand on the wound, feeling the blood leak through his fingers.
“But you did,” Yoochun murmured weakly. Then his whole body went limp.
[E.n.d.D.r.e.a.m]
And Xiah had woken up; covered in sweat, heart beating too fast, feeling too real.
=====
“We can’t deny it forever,” Jaejoong spoke casually as he took a red shirt out of the closet and put it on.
Yunho stopped flipping through the magazine. “I’m not denying anything.”
“Yunho, you went to check on him last night,” Jaejoong reminded, taking a seat on the bed next to his boyfriend.
[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
Yunho felt tired and drained. It’s been almost a year and he still hasn’t been able to catch Junho’s killer, bring him to justice. He’d even been neglecting Jaejoong and Xiah.
It was late and they were probably asleep by now. Yunho walked to Xiah’s room and knocked. No answer so he carefully twisted the knob and opened the door. As expected, Xiah’s blanket had been kicked on the floor and the younger man was curled up into a ball (his back was to Yunho).
Yunho smiled at the cuteness, suddenly remembering the times when he and Junho had bullied Xiah (when they were still children with big dreams and small troubles). He walked into the room and picked up the blanket.
But just as he was about to put the blanket over Xiah, the sleeping man had turned his body to reveal the stuff animal that he was hugging close to his chest. Yunho was pretty sure that the stuff bunny was bought by Micky Park, probably to gain Xiah’s trust.
Believing that there was no other reason, Yunho went ahead and threw the pillow over the younger man. Then he noticed that Xiah’s head wasn’t on the pillow. He gently lifted Xiah’s head and pulled the pillow lower.
When he moved the pillow, he found a picture underneath it. It was the picture that he’d shown to the nurses at the hospital to determine if Micky Park was the man who took Xiah away. Yunho turned his head away, as if wanting to avoid seeing the truth.
He turned his head to see Jaejoong standing at the entrance of the room, staring at him with eyes that had already seen the truth.
[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
“He needed comfort so he grabbed the closest thing next to his bed…which just happens to be a stuff bunny. As for the picture…he kept it because he wants to remember the man who killed his brother, to keep him motivated…”
“Yunho,” Jaejoong whispered. “If you believe that Xiah isn’t in love with Micky Park then you wouldn’t have set up that encounter at the restaurant with Shim Changmin.”
Yunho’s hands turned into fists and he refused to look at Jaejoong. “He’s not in love with Micky Park.”
“You know that just because you see something with your own eyes, it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth. If you put something into words, keep saying it to yourself and to other people, it doesn’t mean that it’s the truth either. What have you turned into, Yunho?” Jaejoong spoke in a tone, too soft and too hurt.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t changed at all,” Yunho stood up and walked to look out the window.
“Haven’t you? What happened to the logical, intelligent man that I fell in love with? You’ve stooped to even using Xiah to find out where Micky Park is…when you know that Xiah doesn’t want you to find Park! You’ve stooped so slow that you secretly went through Xiah’s drawer and read those postcards! You invaded his privacy!”
Yunho frowned. “I had to look! I’m sure those postcards are from Micky Park. I just know it. And Xiah…he’s just confused! Park was good to him in order to gain his trust, to get the information out of him, but he mistook it for Love. Park isn’t capable of True Love. He’s a murderer! It was all false.”
“You can call Park’s Love for Xiah ‘false,’ but you can’t say the same about Xiah. Xiah is a horrible liar and you caught him every single time, but you’re just denying it. Please, Yunho, just…stop.”
Yunho’s angry eyes met Jaejoong’s pleading eyes. “What are you saying? You’re telling me to give up? To just let Junho’s murderer go free?”
“I understand that Junho was important to you…”
“No! You don’t understand!” the taller man exclaimed. “Junho was my best friend, my brother! When my mother died and left me alone with my abusive father, Junho saved me! He saved me from drowning in depression, saved me from killing myself! He begged his parents to adopt me and they put up a hard battle to set me free from my father! He did so much for me! All the other kids hated me, shunned me, but Junho reached out to me! I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him! I wouldn’t have become a cop. I wouldn’t have met and fell in love with you!”
Jaejoong bit his lower lip, unable to find his words. He’d avoided this topic, this denial and this truth for this long because he didn’t want this fight with Yunho. But it’d hurt him to see Yunho lose his own honest character to find Micky Park. And Jaejoong had begun to accept that Xiah may truly love Micky Park…another reason to NOT want Yunho to find him.
It would hurt Xiah. It’s already hurting Yunho. If Yunho could just open his eyes and see himself right now, he’d hate himself. He was becoming someone that he didn’t want to be.
Jaejoong feared that one day, Yunho wouldn’t just arrest Micky Park; he’d simply kill Park with his own hands and that’s against the law. Yunho always abided by the law; always wanted to be a part of the police force, to protect the innocent.
“This isn’t fair,” the blond man murmured, eyes conveying all the hurt he was feeling. “It’s not fair because you’re hurting yourself…yet I’m feeling the pain.”
Yunho turned his eyes away. “Forget it. You can’t understand.”
“I understand that you would hurt Xiah if you killed Micky Park.”
“When Park dies, Xiah will open his eyes and realize that it’s not real Love! He doesn’t love the man who killed his brother!”
Jaejoong’s brows furrowed. Yunho never liked seeing Jaejoong unhappy. “The one who needs to open his eyes…is you.”
Chapter 34 // “For just one right reason.”