Running (Chapter 24)
Title: Running
Pairing: Yoosu, ChangKi, Yunjae
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Angst, Comedy
Quotes:
"There is no such thing as [running] forever."
“Because something unexpected happened.”
[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
Yoochun turned on the volume and was thankful that the camera had voice recording…even though he had to turn it ALL the way up just to get a low volume of Junsu’s voice. If something was bothering Junsu, Yoochun wanted to know. He wanted to fix it and to free Junsu from anything that might be bothering him.
He moved closer to the T.V. so he could hear what Junsu was telling the two stuff bunnies.
“Kibum says that Love is something really amazing…better than all the candy and ice cream in the world,” Junsu was saying to Mr. Bunny. Then he turned to Micky (the larger bunny). “And he says that Love can overcome ANYTHING. It’s…more powerful than all the superheroes in the world. Kibum says that Love can have a little bit of confusing times and maybe cause a little hurt, but in the end, it’s always a good thing. He says it happens because it should and no one can stop it…no one should try to stop it.”
Yoochun frowned. Kibum has been telling Junsu too much…and Junsu has remembered it all.
But Yoochun still couldn’t quite understand why this was bothering Junsu. Or maybe he didn’t want to know why Junsu would be brooding over something like ‘Love’.
“Kibum asked me a really good question today and…hmm…let me ask the two of you,” Junsu spoke like a teacher as he placed the two bunnies side-by-side in front of him. He cleared his throat, “Mr. Bunny, are you in love with Chunnie? Micky, are you in love with Chunnie?”
Yoochun’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. That was what Kibum had asked Junsu?
Yoochun’s palms began to sweat and his heart rate quickened. He wasn’t sure he wanted to watch the rest of this clip. But he had to.
Junsu looked like he was listening to a response from the two stuff animals. Then he suddenly pointed a finger at himself, “Me? You ask if I’m in love with Hyung?”
Yoochun held his breath.
“Um…I think I am. I mean…Kibum once explained to me how to tell if I’m in love with a person and…everything he talked about…matched everything I feel when I see Hyung. I read some stuff in the magazines that tell you whether you love a person too. I miss him when I don’t see him, I like hugging him, seeing him happy makes me happy, seeing him sad makes me want to make him happy,” Junsu started to list off a few more things. Then he finally said, “So…yes, yes, I am. But…am I allowed to be in love with him? Why? Well, because…we’re brothers and…can brothers be in love with each other? I haven’t seen anything about it in Heebon’s magazines. Oh! Oh! But I did read a book about it once…in one of Heebon’s romance novels! I can’t remember the title. Do you remember the title, Mr. Bunny?”
Yoochun leaned back onto the sofa and his whole body felt weak. Did Junsu just admit to being in love with Yoochun?
[E.n.d.F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Kibum begged for forgiveness.
“Kibum, stop. It’s not your fault,” Yoochun allayed. “It’s…a good thing.”
“What if Junsu was just…interpreting everything in the wrong way? He has the mind of a child.”
“I didn’t want to risk it…and I’ve noticed that we’ve become very close. Too close,” Yoochun recalled the many times Junsu had hugged him, cuddled with him and…kissed him. Maybe an innocent heart would see Love when it appears, because an innocent heart wouldn’t deny.
“So you sent him back to Jung?” Changmin still can’t understand why Yoochun would let Junsu go like that…especially since Yoochun had been so determined to keep Junsu with him until (if) Junsu remembers. It was Changmin who had tried to make Yoochun send Junsu away in the beginning.
“I didn’t have a choice. It’s not supposed to happen. I had it planned and this…this isn’t supposed to happen. I had even prepared myself for the day when he would recover, when he would hate me…but I didn’t plan on him falling in love with me too!” Yoochun was almost shouting now. He stopped talking for a moment, trying to control his emotions.
“Chunnie…”
“I was selfish! I could have sent him back to Jung long ago! Jung would have been able to protect him from Bae! But I didn’t! I took him with me! I didn’t want to let him go! I kept denying that he had fallen in love with me and…you think I can’t feel it? You really think I can’t tell…from the way he looks at me? But…hearing him say it…I can’t deny it anymore. I was so happy. So happy and yet so scared at the same time! You said it yourself, Changmin! It’s cruel to make your enemy fall in love with you!”
“You didn’t ‘make’ him! Maybe it was meant to happen…” Kibum tried.
“No! If…if I hadn’t gotten so close, if I’d been more careful! If I didn’t give into the impulse of…wanting to be closer to him…this wouldn’t have happened!”
Changmin understood. Yoochun accepted from the beginning that he was in love with Junsu, perhaps at first sight (they’d met more than once when Junsu came to the bars to find Junho). At the same time, he’d accepted that Junsu would one day recover. He was ready for the day when Junsu would remember, would hate him. That would be the day that he would run away by himself. That would be the only reason he would leave Junsu.
But another reason surfaced, ambushing Yoochun’s perfectly laid out plans. It wasn’t included in his plans because he never thought (expected) Junsu would return his feelings. And if Junsu did fall in love with Yoochun, then he wouldn’t be able to hate Yoochun…he’d hate himself.
Changmin felt a clot in his throat. He didn’t know what to say. What could he tell Yoochun? That even if Yoochun let Junsu go back to Jung Yunho, it’s too late to make Junsu fall OUT of love with him? That even if Yoochun let Junsu go back to Jung Yunho, Junsu’s Love wouldn’t fade?
But maybe Changmin didn’t have to point those facts out. Maybe Yoochun already knew and was just…denying it.
“Chunnie, where are you right now?” Kibum asked. Changmin could see Kibum’s desperation to comfort Yoochun.
Yoochun had his emotions held down now and spoke in a calmer voice, “I planned for Jung to find Junsu at the park because it’s far enough from the two of you, but close enough for Junsu. Jung would have wanted him to lead them back to the apartment. I had left Junsu’s belongings in his old room. They wouldn’t find me, but…since I didn’t expect Junsu to remember his past; I wanted to give him the comfort of his belongings. I was hoping it would make it easier for him when he starts adjusting to life with Jung…and that he would eventually let go of those belongings…”
…and that he would eventually let go of the past, of Yoochun.
Wrong. So wrong, Yoochun.
“Chunnie, where are you?” Kibum tried again.
“But I guess he won’t need those belongings. He remembers Jung and won’t have a problem going back to him,” Yoochun chuckled, bitterly and sadly. “I won’t have to worry that he won’t follow Jung home.”
“Where are you?” Changmin spoke in a stern voice, demanding an answer. He could feel Kibum’s hand gripping tighter onto his own (because they were both holding the cell phone).
“I picked up the phone because I owe the both of you an explanation. I tried to keep you out of this, as best as I could. Please, continue to stay out. Jung won’t go after you because he doesn’t have evidence that you were involved in Junho’s murder. Junsu didn’t see you at the scene either and at that moment…seeing his brother die…I doubt he could remember your voice. So just…stay out of it. Stay with Kibum.”
“What about you? Where are you…?”
“I’ll be okay. I just need to be alone. Don’t look for me.”
“Yoochun!”
“Chunnie!”
The call ended.
=====
Xiah sat on the bench, staring up at the stars. In his hand, he held a picture that Yunho had given him. It was one of him and Junho. The wind whistled a sad tune and he wanted to cry.
He’d lied to Yunho and Jaejoong. He told them that he didn’t remember anything from the period when he was with Yoochun…no, with Micky Park. But he did remember and he remembered clearly.
And Xiah knew. He couldn’t deny it. He’d fallen in love with Micky Park during that time. With a child’s mind, he had been sure. With his present mind, he was even surer.
Some people can tell when they’re in love. Some people can’t tell. Xiah was one of the unfortunate people who could tell.
But why did it have to be with him? With his brother’s murderer? With the man that Yunho wanted to capture?
It turns out Yunho has been after Micky for years, but he always failed in finding evidence to convict the man. Yunho was inspector of his department and had planted a spy in the mafia. It was just minutes after the spy had called Yunho to tell him about Kim Junho’s murder that one of Bae’s men discovered the sacrificed agent and killed him on the spot. With only word of mouth and Xiah as the only witness, Yunho immediately tried to find the younger man.
The spy had told him the basics: Junho was killed by Micky Park and Xiah was in the hospital because he witnessed the scene.
But when he finally found the right hospital, he learned that Xiah was suffering from amnesia and had left with his ‘brother’. Believing that Xiah was only alive because of information that he might know, Yunho had to race against time to find Xiah before he recovered.
So is it true? Had Micky been assigned to take care of Xiah until he recovered so that they can get the information out of him? And to gain his trust, Micky had been the nice, caring, beautiful brother? Was it all fake? Had Xiah fallen in love with an illusion by the name of ‘Yoochun’?
Would Micky Park really have killed him?
No.
Yunho had said that someone left a note to lead them to Xiah. Yunho and Jaejoong didn’t know who left the note, but Xiah had a Guess. His Guess is that Micky had left the note.
Xiah closed his eyes and buried his face in his palms. But what about the attack at the hospital last night?
[F.l.a.s.h.b.a.c.k]
“Rest for tonight. You can leave the hospital tomorrow and we’ll go back to the apartment to see what we can find,” Jaejoong’s eyes were soft and he spoke in a soothing tone.
Xiah nodded. “You two should go home and rest.”
“We will. Now sleep,” Yunho pulled the blanket higher to cover Xiah’s shoulders, like the older brother that Xiah…used to have; like Junho.
Xiah closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He faked sleep so that Jaejoong and Yunho could leave.
“Let’s go home to shower and then come back later,” Jaejoong said to Yunho.
“I don’t know if I want to leave him by himself,” Yunho sighed. Xiah felt guilty.
“You’re right. But you still need to eat. Let’s go to the cafeteria to see what they still have and then bring food back here. It’ll be quick,” Jaejoong held Yunho’s hand for better persuasion.
Yunho smiled at Jaejoong and nodded. He took a glance at the ‘sleeping’ Xiah before they walked out of the hospital room. They left the door open so that nurses and doctors walking pass would prevent anyone from intruding the room.
They almost reached the end of the hallway and were about to turn the corner when Jaejoong accidentally bumped into the nurse. The nurse was wheeling a cart and containers of pills fell out.
“I’m so sorry!” Jaejoong immediately knelt down to help her pick up the pills.
“It’s okay,” she murmured as she picked up the pills and placed them in whatever container was available. Yunho felt his senses tense and he watched the nurse with careful eyes. She performed a quick bow before continuing to push the cart down the corridor.
Yunho was staring at her as she walked away.
“Hot, isn’t she?” Jaejoong drawled with a cocked eyebrow.
“Hot and suspicious,” Yunho replied.
“Suspicious?”
“I think I’ve seen nurses bring medication out from that room over there,” Yunho pointed to a door behind them. “But she’s walking in the opposite direction. She can’t be feeding those medications to people if they’ve been on the ground.”
Chapter 25 // “Where is he anyway?”