Lewis Hollins and His series of Unfortunate Events......
Hello guy's in doll's how ya doin today? I'm doing quite well I have no complaints whats so ever. I'm really embarrassed by the last entree it was quite drab, wasn't it? Well this time around I have got quite a DOOZY. As I've told you in the past that this past Sunday was my little sister's debutante ball and I was her escort. The affair turned out to be thee premiere event of 2005. I was there for my sister and every thing was quite lovely. But Saturday the day before I was praying to the almighty GOD that I would get to even actually attend.............
So Saturday was a HUGE day at my house. I had woke up to an empty home, everyone in my family was scattered here and there. Mommy Dearest and my lil sis where at the beauty shop. Daddy was picking up everyones clothes from the tailor. My parents had rented a hotel room in town so there would be NO mistakes of them being on time for the practices for thee upcoming events. Those three where going to be away for the night so I got a bright idea to get my gear on and go and paint the town RED. I enlisted the help of my fellow Amazon Sarah. I called her and found out what was the plan for the night. I was to be her date for the evening at one of our good friend's wedding reception (I soooo forgot to RSVP). We were greeted at the party with open arms by the bride and groom. I felt kind of odd because it seems lately all my friend's are starting to make the major decisions and settle down, and take the BIG plunge and get married. I on thee other hand am trying to live my life in the fullest and partake in the forbidden fruits of spontineity. Sarah and I both dressed from head to toe in black worked the crowd like it was our job. I make it a major point never to drink to heavily at important events that I attend, but this was an exception. I sat down and enjoyed and grey goose martini when I noticed the DJ. Low and behold it turned out to be my old running buddy from high school Guy. I was exstatic to see him! But little did I know the next portion of my night with him would turn out to be thee biggest accident in my life thus far.
Guy invited Sarah and I to a party thrown by one of Flint's local celebrities JELLO. We were pumped and ready to cap off our wonderful night at a killer party by thee best DJ around. The reception was over and I was helping Guy load all of his equipment into his Durango when I turned to him and asked where exactly where this party was being thrown. He replied to me that it was being held at CLUB WHAT's NEXT. For anyone that is wondering this seedy little club is know for it's appalling surroundings. And I was taken aback for a minute but I wasnt intending on doing anything to extreme there plus I could walk into my home and not have to worry about getting the third degree no one was going to be there, so I threw caution to the wind. Fast forward>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> we walked into the club and I was handed a flyer that read the party's theme "Getting Lucky" when I look back I laugh at how ironic that flyer really was. Inside the club the light's were dim and I witnessed tons of candy kids dancing the hearts away to thee intoxicating beat spun by Jello. I was definitely over dressed. All around me where kids fitted with oversized pants tight t-shirts and visors the blinked strobe like light's. It was fun to be there just because I remember when I use to live for the night life that only Detroit could give me. But this time around I was on no drugs what so ever,I think I was the only one.............
I had lost Sarah to the crowd and I decided to sit at the bar and talk to the cutie next to me. I was having like I said a great time. Sarah eventually found me and invited me to sit upstairs with the DJ's I grabbed my CORONA and headed up there. I vividly recall looking at my watch it read 1:30. Drinking my drink talking to the kid's I realized that the 4 5 beat had stopped down stairs I paid it no mind just thinking that it they were probably changing disc. Then out of no where the music violently was stop on the opposite side of the up stairs room where I was. Me and Sarah looked to the DJ station and noticed that the DJ's face was illuminated by a spot light. But this wasn't your every day conventional club spotlight this was a light of a police officers flashlights. Then the realization of what was going on surfaced this "party" was being RAIDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at Sarah and she looked at me and we stated at the same time "OH SHIT"............
"GET AGAINST THE WALL","NOBODY FUCKING MOVE","YOUR ALL UNDER ARREST". These where the things I was hearing as a cop grabbed my arms threw me up against the wall tying my arm's with plastic handcuffs along with the other 118 people. It was actually a surreal moment, everything seemed to be going in slow motion. All I could think about was my sister and how disapointed and ashamed my parents where going to be if on the I didn't show up for this ball that was so very important. I could do nothing I was powerless. Out of no where I heard a familiar voice ordering the light's to be turned on. That very instance my eye's where thrown into shock by two thing's the light's, and the police officer who gave the order............my next door fuckin neighbor. My jaw dropped to the ground, how much luckier could I get? My mind going back to the flyer in my pocket. He looked at Sarah and I shook his head in dissapointment. I shook my head as well. I was in this situation, and I started to think....I have got to get the hell outta here. In the center of the room was a pool table. This time around the pool table was turned into a make shift evidence table. Instead of the pool balls there where drugs taken from the numerous dealers that lyed in my mist. Exctasy,GHB,Mushrooms,Special K,Marijuana you name it, it was there. This "party" just so happened to be dubbed the biggest drug bust in Flint,Michigan's history! I was got insanely nervous when I heard one of the officers tell his peers that they where doing cavity searches in the bathroom's. The last thing I wanted was a finger in my ass. Seriously. When I thought that nothing more could go wrong the cocktail waitress standing next to me started raising hell about how she needed to pee.
Eventually my neighbor took me and Sarah downstairs where we were placed to sit in front of investigators who tried to drill away at us about how we heard about the party and what we where doing there. Then it hit me like a 2 ton os brick's, Im old enough to drink I was at a bar BEFORE 2 o'clock and no matter what they though I was doing nothing illegal. I had no drugs on me and I wasn't driving I was drunk and there was nothing in the fucking world I could get in trouble for. I just happened to be the poster child of: THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME. I look at the investigator and told him what I had just pontificated. He looked at me wrote me a ticket and cut my wire's I was outta that bitch! And just in time, as I was walking out there was news camera's setting up shop. I love the limelight but NEVER in this lime. Me and Sarah grabbed each other hand's and ran to the car.......I returned home at no later than 6 o'clock that morning, dropped to the floor and thank God that I didn't get in trouble. After all I wasn't doing anything but having a drink. My lawyer has been contacted and he assured me of the same thing. I woke up promptly at 11 and dressed and I made thee occasion, dressed to kill. As I sat at the table eating with my family I looked around and smiled, if only they knew what the hell I just went to before I got to this damn thing.
CHECK us out!
So Saturday was a HUGE day at my house. I had woke up to an empty home, everyone in my family was scattered here and there. Mommy Dearest and my lil sis where at the beauty shop. Daddy was picking up everyones clothes from the tailor. My parents had rented a hotel room in town so there would be NO mistakes of them being on time for the practices for thee upcoming events. Those three where going to be away for the night so I got a bright idea to get my gear on and go and paint the town RED. I enlisted the help of my fellow Amazon Sarah. I called her and found out what was the plan for the night. I was to be her date for the evening at one of our good friend's wedding reception (I soooo forgot to RSVP). We were greeted at the party with open arms by the bride and groom. I felt kind of odd because it seems lately all my friend's are starting to make the major decisions and settle down, and take the BIG plunge and get married. I on thee other hand am trying to live my life in the fullest and partake in the forbidden fruits of spontineity. Sarah and I both dressed from head to toe in black worked the crowd like it was our job. I make it a major point never to drink to heavily at important events that I attend, but this was an exception. I sat down and enjoyed and grey goose martini when I noticed the DJ. Low and behold it turned out to be my old running buddy from high school Guy. I was exstatic to see him! But little did I know the next portion of my night with him would turn out to be thee biggest accident in my life thus far.
Guy invited Sarah and I to a party thrown by one of Flint's local celebrities JELLO. We were pumped and ready to cap off our wonderful night at a killer party by thee best DJ around. The reception was over and I was helping Guy load all of his equipment into his Durango when I turned to him and asked where exactly where this party was being thrown. He replied to me that it was being held at CLUB WHAT's NEXT. For anyone that is wondering this seedy little club is know for it's appalling surroundings. And I was taken aback for a minute but I wasnt intending on doing anything to extreme there plus I could walk into my home and not have to worry about getting the third degree no one was going to be there, so I threw caution to the wind. Fast forward>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> we walked into the club and I was handed a flyer that read the party's theme "Getting Lucky" when I look back I laugh at how ironic that flyer really was. Inside the club the light's were dim and I witnessed tons of candy kids dancing the hearts away to thee intoxicating beat spun by Jello. I was definitely over dressed. All around me where kids fitted with oversized pants tight t-shirts and visors the blinked strobe like light's. It was fun to be there just because I remember when I use to live for the night life that only Detroit could give me. But this time around I was on no drugs what so ever,I think I was the only one.............
I had lost Sarah to the crowd and I decided to sit at the bar and talk to the cutie next to me. I was having like I said a great time. Sarah eventually found me and invited me to sit upstairs with the DJ's I grabbed my CORONA and headed up there. I vividly recall looking at my watch it read 1:30. Drinking my drink talking to the kid's I realized that the 4 5 beat had stopped down stairs I paid it no mind just thinking that it they were probably changing disc. Then out of no where the music violently was stop on the opposite side of the up stairs room where I was. Me and Sarah looked to the DJ station and noticed that the DJ's face was illuminated by a spot light. But this wasn't your every day conventional club spotlight this was a light of a police officers flashlights. Then the realization of what was going on surfaced this "party" was being RAIDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I looked at Sarah and she looked at me and we stated at the same time "OH SHIT"............
"GET AGAINST THE WALL","NOBODY FUCKING MOVE","YOUR ALL UNDER ARREST". These where the things I was hearing as a cop grabbed my arms threw me up against the wall tying my arm's with plastic handcuffs along with the other 118 people. It was actually a surreal moment, everything seemed to be going in slow motion. All I could think about was my sister and how disapointed and ashamed my parents where going to be if on the I didn't show up for this ball that was so very important. I could do nothing I was powerless. Out of no where I heard a familiar voice ordering the light's to be turned on. That very instance my eye's where thrown into shock by two thing's the light's, and the police officer who gave the order............my next door fuckin neighbor. My jaw dropped to the ground, how much luckier could I get? My mind going back to the flyer in my pocket. He looked at Sarah and I shook his head in dissapointment. I shook my head as well. I was in this situation, and I started to think....I have got to get the hell outta here. In the center of the room was a pool table. This time around the pool table was turned into a make shift evidence table. Instead of the pool balls there where drugs taken from the numerous dealers that lyed in my mist. Exctasy,GHB,Mushrooms,Special K,Marijuana you name it, it was there. This "party" just so happened to be dubbed the biggest drug bust in Flint,Michigan's history! I was got insanely nervous when I heard one of the officers tell his peers that they where doing cavity searches in the bathroom's. The last thing I wanted was a finger in my ass. Seriously. When I thought that nothing more could go wrong the cocktail waitress standing next to me started raising hell about how she needed to pee.
Eventually my neighbor took me and Sarah downstairs where we were placed to sit in front of investigators who tried to drill away at us about how we heard about the party and what we where doing there. Then it hit me like a 2 ton os brick's, Im old enough to drink I was at a bar BEFORE 2 o'clock and no matter what they though I was doing nothing illegal. I had no drugs on me and I wasn't driving I was drunk and there was nothing in the fucking world I could get in trouble for. I just happened to be the poster child of: THE WRONG PLACE AT THE WRONG TIME. I look at the investigator and told him what I had just pontificated. He looked at me wrote me a ticket and cut my wire's I was outta that bitch! And just in time, as I was walking out there was news camera's setting up shop. I love the limelight but NEVER in this lime. Me and Sarah grabbed each other hand's and ran to the car.......I returned home at no later than 6 o'clock that morning, dropped to the floor and thank God that I didn't get in trouble. After all I wasn't doing anything but having a drink. My lawyer has been contacted and he assured me of the same thing. I woke up promptly at 11 and dressed and I made thee occasion, dressed to kill. As I sat at the table eating with my family I looked around and smiled, if only they knew what the hell I just went to before I got to this damn thing.
CHECK us out!