(no subject)
The System Defense Boat First Khantact was in orbit over Khanworld. It was the flagship of Khanworld's fleet...well, the only ship they'd been able to afford with their somewhat irregular income. The marketing of potted meat from Khanworld had failed (it had been deemed to be in poor taste) and the microscopic payments from Federation Intelligence were rarely on time. Nevertheless, the Khans of Khanworld had thought that at least one System Defense Boat was a good thing to posess, and had made the purchase. There was a faint but calculable chance that the Vulcans might decide that they wanted to reclaim what resources had gone into the willy-nilly creation of several million Khans. Unlikely, but possible...the Vulcans had done stranger things, at least in the eyes of the Khans.
Captain Khan turned to his crew: First Mate Khan, Science Officer Khan, Medical Officer Khan, Engineer Khan, Communication Officer Khan, Weapons Officer Khan, and Conn Officer Khan. They regularly traded shifts, depending on who was awake. Khan cleared his throat, and said, "Well, I'm beat. Time for a little shut eye. Wake me if you need me." He thought briefly about putting on his chef's hat and firing up the galley, but decided that he was effectively already wearing enough hats, and sleep was the best course of action. He had made it as far as the turbolift when an alarm behind him went off. He turned and scanned the bridge, noticing that Conn Khan's console was the source of the cacophany.
"Well, what is it?" Conn Khan turned to look back at Captain Khan. Conn Khan was white as a sheet. The viewscreen changed, replacing the rolling surface of Khanworld with an image from the deep-space sensors. The shape was a cube. The image grew quickly, indicating rapid speed. As one, the Khans all hit the buttons on their tricorders, uploading their memories to the Khan collective Khansciousness.
Captain Khan turned to Communication Officer Khan and said, "Well, we can't defeat them. Anything we do here will be countered. Let's see if we can have a communication probe launched from the far side of the planet; perhaps it will survive long enough to let the Federation know what's happening to us. Once you've done that, open hailing frequencies. Maybe they'll talk." The image continued to loom on the viewscreen.
Communication Officer Khan tapped a control, and stated, "This is SDB First Khantact, to approaching ship. Acknowledge." There was a moment's silence, then a snicker. The snicker did not sound like a Khan, and a glance from CO Khan was enough to tell his fellow Khans that it came from over the comm channel. Conn Khan reduced the image to zero magnification. The cube was upon them.
The First Khantact was miniscule in comparison to the huge cube. The cube, strangely enough, began to rotate. The side that had been furthest away from the SDB faced them...so to speak. The cube had an enormous humanoid face on it...two eyes, a nose and a mouth. The snickering over the comm system grew louder, and a colossal tongue dropped out of the cube's mouth and covered the First Khantact in saliva. All the Khans on board crapped their collective pants.
"It's the Boog! Run away!" Captain Khan's order was too late. The cube's mouth opened, swallowed the boat, and then let out a titanic belch. It was time to have the Khan Collective...meet the Boog. And in their first contact, the Boog had licked 'em...fair and square.
Captain Khan turned to his crew: First Mate Khan, Science Officer Khan, Medical Officer Khan, Engineer Khan, Communication Officer Khan, Weapons Officer Khan, and Conn Officer Khan. They regularly traded shifts, depending on who was awake. Khan cleared his throat, and said, "Well, I'm beat. Time for a little shut eye. Wake me if you need me." He thought briefly about putting on his chef's hat and firing up the galley, but decided that he was effectively already wearing enough hats, and sleep was the best course of action. He had made it as far as the turbolift when an alarm behind him went off. He turned and scanned the bridge, noticing that Conn Khan's console was the source of the cacophany.
"Well, what is it?" Conn Khan turned to look back at Captain Khan. Conn Khan was white as a sheet. The viewscreen changed, replacing the rolling surface of Khanworld with an image from the deep-space sensors. The shape was a cube. The image grew quickly, indicating rapid speed. As one, the Khans all hit the buttons on their tricorders, uploading their memories to the Khan collective Khansciousness.
Captain Khan turned to Communication Officer Khan and said, "Well, we can't defeat them. Anything we do here will be countered. Let's see if we can have a communication probe launched from the far side of the planet; perhaps it will survive long enough to let the Federation know what's happening to us. Once you've done that, open hailing frequencies. Maybe they'll talk." The image continued to loom on the viewscreen.
Communication Officer Khan tapped a control, and stated, "This is SDB First Khantact, to approaching ship. Acknowledge." There was a moment's silence, then a snicker. The snicker did not sound like a Khan, and a glance from CO Khan was enough to tell his fellow Khans that it came from over the comm channel. Conn Khan reduced the image to zero magnification. The cube was upon them.
The First Khantact was miniscule in comparison to the huge cube. The cube, strangely enough, began to rotate. The side that had been furthest away from the SDB faced them...so to speak. The cube had an enormous humanoid face on it...two eyes, a nose and a mouth. The snickering over the comm system grew louder, and a colossal tongue dropped out of the cube's mouth and covered the First Khantact in saliva. All the Khans on board crapped their collective pants.
"It's the Boog! Run away!" Captain Khan's order was too late. The cube's mouth opened, swallowed the boat, and then let out a titanic belch. It was time to have the Khan Collective...meet the Boog. And in their first contact, the Boog had licked 'em...fair and square.