Yay for me
So I got on my old SN today for no reason and Matt was on. My first thought was, "Oh, is Matt blocked on srslameh?" and then I thought, "Oh, wait, no, it's YOU who's blocked Kayleigh!"
And as I looked at his open and blank box I thought, 'What should I tell him that sums up everything before he blocks me again?'
But you know what? You can't sum up a relationship. You just can't. People are too complex and fickle for anyone to ever have themselves 'summed up'. The point is...we don't want to talk to each other. Bitter, sweet and simple. We've blocked each other for just that reason.
Why scratch open old wounds? For instance, Sebastian did a good thing apologizing to me. Fine. Good. He finally and actually did it...kind of. In that asshole way he does. But he should have never asked to be my friend, and I should have never told him that we had a chance of being friends. I should have told him politely that being friends was impossible, and that I didn't have the ability in me to care about anything in his life anymore. Ever.
In my defense, I did hint at that conclusion rather strongly.
I told him we could be friends as long as he chose to keep the friendship alive by himself. To sort of prove to me that he actually wanted my friendship enough. Thankfully, he chose not to and saved us both the effort, but I still should have stood up for myself and told him the truth. The truth that his very existence in this world bugs me.
I believe I did the right thing today. I signed off my SN and left everything well enough alone. I'm sure Matt has changed, I'm sure he's happy with his girlfriend and his friends. It's all water under the bridge and I don't want to talk with him as much as I don't want to fight with him.
I said it before, but that part of my life is over. I proved that today and I'm pretty fucking proud of myself.
Maybe I did do the right thing with Sebastian, though. Despite the fact that I put the power in his hands and I hate doing that, I still avoided a buttload of crap he would have put me through otherwise.
Yeah.
And as I looked at his open and blank box I thought, 'What should I tell him that sums up everything before he blocks me again?'
But you know what? You can't sum up a relationship. You just can't. People are too complex and fickle for anyone to ever have themselves 'summed up'. The point is...we don't want to talk to each other. Bitter, sweet and simple. We've blocked each other for just that reason.
Why scratch open old wounds? For instance, Sebastian did a good thing apologizing to me. Fine. Good. He finally and actually did it...kind of. In that asshole way he does. But he should have never asked to be my friend, and I should have never told him that we had a chance of being friends. I should have told him politely that being friends was impossible, and that I didn't have the ability in me to care about anything in his life anymore. Ever.
In my defense, I did hint at that conclusion rather strongly.
I told him we could be friends as long as he chose to keep the friendship alive by himself. To sort of prove to me that he actually wanted my friendship enough. Thankfully, he chose not to and saved us both the effort, but I still should have stood up for myself and told him the truth. The truth that his very existence in this world bugs me.
I believe I did the right thing today. I signed off my SN and left everything well enough alone. I'm sure Matt has changed, I'm sure he's happy with his girlfriend and his friends. It's all water under the bridge and I don't want to talk with him as much as I don't want to fight with him.
I said it before, but that part of my life is over. I proved that today and I'm pretty fucking proud of myself.
Maybe I did do the right thing with Sebastian, though. Despite the fact that I put the power in his hands and I hate doing that, I still avoided a buttload of crap he would have put me through otherwise.
Yeah.