bleh

[miayako]

There comes a point in a persons life
Where 'giving up' means
'moving on' means
'walking forward' means
'no longer living in the past'.

After what felt like a life full of
heightened passions and an overflowing
of self I no longer care for this life
of dull complacence and gray lovers.

Today feels like my own noose
around my neck that lifts me off
my toes and spins me around so that
just for a moment I am really and truly
flying.

I am aware of this unsettling depression
in my belly, this anxious nausea in my mind
and these thoughts and thoughts and thoughts
that swirl in my head till all I have left
is the ground under my feet.

I'll rest my head down and close my eyes
and wish and wish and wish
but there isn't a cure for loneliness but
happiness, and what am I to do when loneliness
is the only path I am trekking?

I would close myself up into a cocoon
and plead to be born again into something
more beautiful, not like a caterpillar to a
butterfly, but a sloth into a bold jaguar
or a lumbering bear into a ballerina.

I am an object thrown down a hill
bouncing along without a point till
I land in some nook or crevice, stuck
and unable to move until someone picks
me up and throws me again from the same hill.