the opposite of homesickness
I don't think I'm capable of being homesick. Especially when I've been away on my own, blissfully enjoying myself sans parents. Is that bad? Is my subconscious telling me that my home life sucks? Ha, probably. I suppose the fact that I'm an only child adds to that feeling of intense freedom, too.
I almost died when I left the Vineyard. I swear, the second that ferry moved I ran to the stern and contemplated jumping into the disgusting green water and swimming back to shore.
The trip itself had been highly anticipated; a year in the making. Ali and I were looking forward to seeing each other since the last day of tennis camp, where we met last year. And then I saw her briefly a few days after camp when my parents took me to Martha's Vineyard, where she lives. But it was a joke. I saw her for like 30 minutes that day and it sucked. Too short-lived.
Let me tell you something about Ali. People ask us how we met, and it's like, "Oh, tennis camp." You'd think we're both tennis freaks who play it every second of the day, but it's not like that at all.
I don't even know how we got to be so close. Tennis camp lasted a week, and I didn't know her name until the third day. We weren't on the same teams or playing courts; she wasn't even my roommate. And when we finally did meet (accidentally), I spelled her name wrong. Long story short, we became inseparable. Be bonded over the stupidest things, like cereal. I remember being so afraid that it was the kind of summer friendship that would eventually die (as most of them do), but it turns out that she felt exactly the same way about it. Neither of us wanted to lose touch. It makes me feel elated and at the same time a little scared that two people could get so close in such a short period of time. Less than a week together and it's like we could've written books about each other.
So fast forward a couple of months' worth of instant messaging, late-night texts, phone calls, Facebook comments, and care packages, until it's summer vacation once again, and Ali and I are trying to figure things out. Logistically, I ended up going to the Vineyard. At first my parents said no, but luckily they realized that it would make a nice getaway for the entire family, and they agreed to let me stay at Ali's place in West Chop while they stayed at an inn in Oak Bluffs.
My bags were fully packed three days before we actually had to leave, and I didn't get any sleep whatsoever the night before the trip. We left the house at 5 AM, and arrived in Oak Bluffs around 3 PM (long ass trip, guys). At 2:45 PM she texted me saying, "HOLY SHIT I SEE IT," in regards to the ferry I was on. I texted her back with details of what I was wearing so she could spot me among the throng of tourists getting off the boat. It turns out that I already saw her through the windows, but I pretended to look for her. She's taller than I remembered.
I knew her dad was a very successful architect, but her house simply went beyond my expectations. I fell in love with it before I walked inside. Huge, of course, but breezy and open and it had everything I would ever want in a house. I swear, every single room either had multiple windows, or a door that went outside. It's such an energy-efficient house that way. No need for AC.
Speaking of eco-friendly, Ali's family is incredibly green, and it's one of the things I never got to learn about her at camp. She's the youngest of three girls, but I'm always telling her that if she had a brother I'd end up marrying him just so I could say I'm part of her family. She already says I am, though. :)
She has two dogs; Molly, 13, who smells like ass even after a bath, and Brady, 1, who has perpetual boners. Her sisters Isobel, 19, and Emily, 23, were all home for the holidays so it was nice to finally meet them. Until then, I'd only ever seen pictures of them through Facebook. In a way, it was kind of unreal, meeting people you've only seen in pictures. It's like, WOW you're really TALL.
Why am I writing this all down? Because I don't want to forget. I was to preserve everything that I can that I didn't already via my camera.
Things like talking late into the night and staring at all her glow in the dark stars. Things like eating ice cream straight from the tub with forks. Things like trying peanut butter and honey for the first time. Watching Dinotopia on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Trying beet and lobster salad at Saltwater and splitting the halibut even though the serving size was smaller than my palm. Going to strange barbecues and fearing strange old cr33py men that want to take us home.
Things like standing in the backseat of her convertible with the top down and getting a thorn stuck in my pinky. Watching fireworks in the dark on Middle Pier and threatening to push each other into the shark-filled waters. Running in the early morning and getting "lost" in West Chop. Jumping straight into her pool after said run. Contemplating the existence of time and space in the hot tub. Watching Ali eat and eat and eat. Arguing with Ali because according to her, I don't eat enough.
Biking around the loop to Tom Wellings's house and half wanting to scream at the top of my lungs. Sitting in the backseat of the car and yelling FUCK as loud as possible while she takes a video of me doing it without my knowledge. Getting attacked by the biggest dog I've ever seen. Making bracelets for hours. Things like going to the market and pocketing cherries and making a bag of trail mix and nuts and dates and apricot bars and munching on them as we shop for things like soymilk and fruity pebbles and tikka masala mix and then not paying for anything.
Things like planning to ask Emily for weed. Things like watching Isobel eat her mushy cereal. Making gigantic multicultural indian/italian/mexican dinners. Things like painting our faces with eyeliner so Ali looked like a man and I looked like a transvestite Cleopatra. Me drawing cartoons on her belly. Cracking each others' backs. Listening to Corinne Bailey Rae. Our adventures in the bathroom and the videos we made. The big ass sparklers that wouldn't light because they were stupid pieces of shit. Looking at all the photographs around her house and smiling.
Seeing the picture of her school and asking if it was her family. Trying to finish Dinotopia in her room which failed because we just turned it off and talked about sheepskin rugs and nocturnal activities in Vermont log cabins. Things like her making the most amazing smoothies with Isobel in the mornings. Trying things for the first time. Wheat germ. Greek Yogurt. Maple Syrup. Cottage cheese. All of those things together. Holding Emily's phone in my pocket.
Laughing at Emily because she rented It at the movie place. Forcing Ali to buy a champagne mango. Watching the Federer lose the Wimbledon finals. Sorting out the recycling. Driving past the Moxie's which burned to the ground because of old wiring and feeling sad because the bookstore next to it lost an entire wall of books. Take the cake. Neopolitan strawberry. Coffee yuck. And peanut butter cup. Watching Isobel put on dog ears and eating tuna fish with salad dressing. Telling Ali about my honeymoon in Santorini. Walking around the house in our underwear. Isobel wanting us to come back into the bathroom despite the fact that she was in the shower.
Ali and I doing pull-ups with the pull-up bar in Emily's room. Mrs. Flake's obsession with nature. Mr. Flake's obsession with cleanliness. My gums bleeding into Ali's sink and towels. Her perfume. My perfume. Her tennis ball lip balm. Isobel's skills at putting bandaids on without any help. The roof of Ali's mouth. Ali's obscenely Mt. Everest-like orange retainer. Isobel's really old satchel from her Gpa. Leaving all my toiletries and tshirt and shorts and socks with her.
And she says she wants to make a shrine in my honor. Watching her drive me places and me being jealous because I only started driving yesterday. Pointing out all the things in her house that I have. Like nutella and toasters and so many other things I wish I could remember. Giving her a French tote after learning how she's gonna take French instead of Latin. Giving her a picture of a tiny piece of New York and she hangs it right above her bed. Giving her a green bracelet and her making me one too. Her drawing a picture of Dinotopia with me and Isobel looking like pill people.
Me freaking out about all the bugs. Sleeping in her bed. Dance parties in the bathroom. The loft in Emily's old room. How I wanted to sleep there until Ali told me about the bugs. How all the girls' rooms had maps of the world and glow in the dark sticky stars. The nook in Isobel's room. Talking to Harvard people. Eating corn salad and rosemary chicken and Black Dog rhubarb pie and making fun of Ali for hating rhubarb.
Talking behind the dirty outdoor kitchen about things that are taboo. Never getting a chance to play tennis. Laughing because Isobel hates Kyle. Me laughing because Emily is dating Kyle's big brother. Comparing the stories of our rings. Her giving me her signed and dedicated copy of Wuthering Heights because I need it for school and skipping to the pages where she wrote me notes. My map of how to get to MV from LI. The map that I gave Isobel to use as a bookmark. Ali drawing chest hair on herself. Us listening to Marvin Gaye in her room. Me yelling at her to shut up or else we wake up her parents in the middle of the night.
My obsession with her mirror. Then she goes and hides her mirror. Going to the Black Dog for chowder. Swinging on the rickety swings. The patch of championship turf by the pool. The outdoor showers. Emily's amazing apartment. Manu the indian guy. Snacking on peanut butter bumpers. Ali's feet. The picture on Ali's phone. Ectomorph and mesomorph body types. Isobel and her OCDness. That kid Ben from South Carolina who thought I was 18.
Thinking of names for our kids. Imagining how gorgeous half-asian babies are. Imagining what a cross between a Flake and Fermindoza would look like. Wishing Ali had a brother so I'd marry into the Flake family. Sitting on the cliff looking out into the ravine. Eating amazing food. Silk. Ali farting and sharting. Ali burping. Ali being weird and making faces. Ali being sad when I left. Me being sad. Ali looking forward to next year. Me looking forward to next year.
Next year being so far away.
No matter what kind of shit I have to go through this junior year, I know I'll always have Ali to look forward to.
I almost died when I left the Vineyard. I swear, the second that ferry moved I ran to the stern and contemplated jumping into the disgusting green water and swimming back to shore.
The trip itself had been highly anticipated; a year in the making. Ali and I were looking forward to seeing each other since the last day of tennis camp, where we met last year. And then I saw her briefly a few days after camp when my parents took me to Martha's Vineyard, where she lives. But it was a joke. I saw her for like 30 minutes that day and it sucked. Too short-lived.
Let me tell you something about Ali. People ask us how we met, and it's like, "Oh, tennis camp." You'd think we're both tennis freaks who play it every second of the day, but it's not like that at all.
I don't even know how we got to be so close. Tennis camp lasted a week, and I didn't know her name until the third day. We weren't on the same teams or playing courts; she wasn't even my roommate. And when we finally did meet (accidentally), I spelled her name wrong. Long story short, we became inseparable. Be bonded over the stupidest things, like cereal. I remember being so afraid that it was the kind of summer friendship that would eventually die (as most of them do), but it turns out that she felt exactly the same way about it. Neither of us wanted to lose touch. It makes me feel elated and at the same time a little scared that two people could get so close in such a short period of time. Less than a week together and it's like we could've written books about each other.
So fast forward a couple of months' worth of instant messaging, late-night texts, phone calls, Facebook comments, and care packages, until it's summer vacation once again, and Ali and I are trying to figure things out. Logistically, I ended up going to the Vineyard. At first my parents said no, but luckily they realized that it would make a nice getaway for the entire family, and they agreed to let me stay at Ali's place in West Chop while they stayed at an inn in Oak Bluffs.
My bags were fully packed three days before we actually had to leave, and I didn't get any sleep whatsoever the night before the trip. We left the house at 5 AM, and arrived in Oak Bluffs around 3 PM (long ass trip, guys). At 2:45 PM she texted me saying, "HOLY SHIT I SEE IT," in regards to the ferry I was on. I texted her back with details of what I was wearing so she could spot me among the throng of tourists getting off the boat. It turns out that I already saw her through the windows, but I pretended to look for her. She's taller than I remembered.
I knew her dad was a very successful architect, but her house simply went beyond my expectations. I fell in love with it before I walked inside. Huge, of course, but breezy and open and it had everything I would ever want in a house. I swear, every single room either had multiple windows, or a door that went outside. It's such an energy-efficient house that way. No need for AC.
Speaking of eco-friendly, Ali's family is incredibly green, and it's one of the things I never got to learn about her at camp. She's the youngest of three girls, but I'm always telling her that if she had a brother I'd end up marrying him just so I could say I'm part of her family. She already says I am, though. :)
She has two dogs; Molly, 13, who smells like ass even after a bath, and Brady, 1, who has perpetual boners. Her sisters Isobel, 19, and Emily, 23, were all home for the holidays so it was nice to finally meet them. Until then, I'd only ever seen pictures of them through Facebook. In a way, it was kind of unreal, meeting people you've only seen in pictures. It's like, WOW you're really TALL.
Why am I writing this all down? Because I don't want to forget. I was to preserve everything that I can that I didn't already via my camera.
Things like talking late into the night and staring at all her glow in the dark stars. Things like eating ice cream straight from the tub with forks. Things like trying peanut butter and honey for the first time. Watching Dinotopia on a rainy Saturday afternoon. Trying beet and lobster salad at Saltwater and splitting the halibut even though the serving size was smaller than my palm. Going to strange barbecues and fearing strange old cr33py men that want to take us home.
Things like standing in the backseat of her convertible with the top down and getting a thorn stuck in my pinky. Watching fireworks in the dark on Middle Pier and threatening to push each other into the shark-filled waters. Running in the early morning and getting "lost" in West Chop. Jumping straight into her pool after said run. Contemplating the existence of time and space in the hot tub. Watching Ali eat and eat and eat. Arguing with Ali because according to her, I don't eat enough.
Biking around the loop to Tom Wellings's house and half wanting to scream at the top of my lungs. Sitting in the backseat of the car and yelling FUCK as loud as possible while she takes a video of me doing it without my knowledge. Getting attacked by the biggest dog I've ever seen. Making bracelets for hours. Things like going to the market and pocketing cherries and making a bag of trail mix and nuts and dates and apricot bars and munching on them as we shop for things like soymilk and fruity pebbles and tikka masala mix and then not paying for anything.
Things like planning to ask Emily for weed. Things like watching Isobel eat her mushy cereal. Making gigantic multicultural indian/italian/mexican dinners. Things like painting our faces with eyeliner so Ali looked like a man and I looked like a transvestite Cleopatra. Me drawing cartoons on her belly. Cracking each others' backs. Listening to Corinne Bailey Rae. Our adventures in the bathroom and the videos we made. The big ass sparklers that wouldn't light because they were stupid pieces of shit. Looking at all the photographs around her house and smiling.
Seeing the picture of her school and asking if it was her family. Trying to finish Dinotopia in her room which failed because we just turned it off and talked about sheepskin rugs and nocturnal activities in Vermont log cabins. Things like her making the most amazing smoothies with Isobel in the mornings. Trying things for the first time. Wheat germ. Greek Yogurt. Maple Syrup. Cottage cheese. All of those things together. Holding Emily's phone in my pocket.
Laughing at Emily because she rented It at the movie place. Forcing Ali to buy a champagne mango. Watching the Federer lose the Wimbledon finals. Sorting out the recycling. Driving past the Moxie's which burned to the ground because of old wiring and feeling sad because the bookstore next to it lost an entire wall of books. Take the cake. Neopolitan strawberry. Coffee yuck. And peanut butter cup. Watching Isobel put on dog ears and eating tuna fish with salad dressing. Telling Ali about my honeymoon in Santorini. Walking around the house in our underwear. Isobel wanting us to come back into the bathroom despite the fact that she was in the shower.
Ali and I doing pull-ups with the pull-up bar in Emily's room. Mrs. Flake's obsession with nature. Mr. Flake's obsession with cleanliness. My gums bleeding into Ali's sink and towels. Her perfume. My perfume. Her tennis ball lip balm. Isobel's skills at putting bandaids on without any help. The roof of Ali's mouth. Ali's obscenely Mt. Everest-like orange retainer. Isobel's really old satchel from her Gpa. Leaving all my toiletries and tshirt and shorts and socks with her.
And she says she wants to make a shrine in my honor. Watching her drive me places and me being jealous because I only started driving yesterday. Pointing out all the things in her house that I have. Like nutella and toasters and so many other things I wish I could remember. Giving her a French tote after learning how she's gonna take French instead of Latin. Giving her a picture of a tiny piece of New York and she hangs it right above her bed. Giving her a green bracelet and her making me one too. Her drawing a picture of Dinotopia with me and Isobel looking like pill people.
Me freaking out about all the bugs. Sleeping in her bed. Dance parties in the bathroom. The loft in Emily's old room. How I wanted to sleep there until Ali told me about the bugs. How all the girls' rooms had maps of the world and glow in the dark sticky stars. The nook in Isobel's room. Talking to Harvard people. Eating corn salad and rosemary chicken and Black Dog rhubarb pie and making fun of Ali for hating rhubarb.
Talking behind the dirty outdoor kitchen about things that are taboo. Never getting a chance to play tennis. Laughing because Isobel hates Kyle. Me laughing because Emily is dating Kyle's big brother. Comparing the stories of our rings. Her giving me her signed and dedicated copy of Wuthering Heights because I need it for school and skipping to the pages where she wrote me notes. My map of how to get to MV from LI. The map that I gave Isobel to use as a bookmark. Ali drawing chest hair on herself. Us listening to Marvin Gaye in her room. Me yelling at her to shut up or else we wake up her parents in the middle of the night.
My obsession with her mirror. Then she goes and hides her mirror. Going to the Black Dog for chowder. Swinging on the rickety swings. The patch of championship turf by the pool. The outdoor showers. Emily's amazing apartment. Manu the indian guy. Snacking on peanut butter bumpers. Ali's feet. The picture on Ali's phone. Ectomorph and mesomorph body types. Isobel and her OCDness. That kid Ben from South Carolina who thought I was 18.
Thinking of names for our kids. Imagining how gorgeous half-asian babies are. Imagining what a cross between a Flake and Fermindoza would look like. Wishing Ali had a brother so I'd marry into the Flake family. Sitting on the cliff looking out into the ravine. Eating amazing food. Silk. Ali farting and sharting. Ali burping. Ali being weird and making faces. Ali being sad when I left. Me being sad. Ali looking forward to next year. Me looking forward to next year.
Next year being so far away.
No matter what kind of shit I have to go through this junior year, I know I'll always have Ali to look forward to.