Why?!
Squirrely...why the fuck did you do it?! I know your reasons, but you were loved by everyone who knew you! My life, my friendships, my romantic life...everything...you helped me out with so much. Why the fuck wasn't I able to return the favor? Well, you finally know where you go after you die. It's ironic how something so funny, one of you most well known inside jokes, turned into something so serious. I fucking love you man! My life wont be the same with out you there, drinking with me when you know you wern't supposed to, making me laugh when I didn't feel up to it. You will always remain in our hearts. And feel fucking special, I'm getting on of my most prized possesions painted in a memorial of you. You meant alot to us, and we're so fucking sorry we wern't there when you needed us the most. I know you can't exactly read this, but I have a feeling, where ever you are, you are looking upon us...regreting what had happened. I still have that weagie bord (spelling?) that you and Sky made in my hotel room at the Blues Fest. It's the only thing I have that was from you. That simple piece of paper, with jiberish to the unknowing ete, means the world to me. One day, we'll be where ever you are, chilling like we used to, chugging Smirnoff Murders (or Squirrely's as we now call them), watching everyone do the stupid shit we used to. When I see your casket in a few days, I want you to pop out and surprise everyone, so I can slap you and cherish our friendship like I should of done in the begining. I never told you how much you meant to us, how good it felt everytime you walked through the door..."friends hug". They had meaning. May your spirit be there with us for all our hard and good times. I want you to be there when the girl I love gives birth to your god-child. I want you to be there with us through thick and thin. We will move on, it's what you would of wanted, but our memories will remain, as so will our hearts. You wont be forgotten. Chris, all you had to do was make a phone call...Seth, Isaiah, Me, Kellen, Trey...we would of been there in a heart beat. I know you wouldn;t want us to spill tears over you, but I can't fucking help it. And I don't care who see this, and who it leaves confused or thinking I'm a psyco...but I know it's possible, I witnessed it. Squirrely, contact me...some how. In any form. Me beliefs are still as strong as they were that one weekend in April. I just want to communicate with you atleast one last time...not to grill you, just talk, have a good time. I'mma fucking miss you and the cheerfulness you carried.