Of course, inspiration struck in the shower.
JEWS: There is one God! Believe in him, or he will keel yor @ss!
WORLD: Shut yo trap, bitchezz.
JEWS: It's true!!!!!
WORLD: Anyone who uses that many exclamation marks can't be healthy. Damn crazies.
JESUS: No, it's true actually! He is actually rather awesome and promotes shit like love and peace. Cool, huh?
CHRISTIANS-TO-BE: There's some money to be made in that, kid.
JESUS: Watch me endorse alcohol, and preach, and stuff. YWHW RULEZ.
JEWS: Man, we can't be havin' wit dis. Call in the dogs Romans of war!
ROMANS: *crucify*
JESUS: *crucify'd*
JEWS: HAHA PWNZD.
CHRISTIANS-TO-BE: OMG NOES! Da Man got staked--you gonna pay for dis, Jewish scum!
JEWS: Phht. Eat us.
CHRISTIANS: WE MAKE UP A NEW RELIGION AT YOU! ...which is kind of based on your own, but is totally better!
JEWS: Oh, gosh. We cannot possibly compete with your virginal-mother glory. Because that's SO original. *eyeroll*
CHRISTIANS: IN YOUR FACE, BITCHES. We own Europe!
JEWS: Alas! We are minority'd!
HERETICS: Omg dude no. Let us join you and abandon our idol-humping ways!
JEWS: You sort of tried to kill our asses for the last few centuries, so... no.
HERETICS: Oh yeah? Well, fine then, be that way--watch us make up a new God who will be even BETTER than yours! Mohammad, go kick their @ss, yo.
MOHAMMAD: Viola~ A new religion! I will call it Islam, after my pet cat. I didn't even pretend to be original, rather just took your religion and changed the names and places!
WORLD: So... Mohammad = Biblical Fanauthor?
MUSLIMS: STFU N00BZ. Jews suck, and we rock so much harder than Christians. You have one virgin--we have seventy! *HIP-THRUST*
CHRISTIANS: HA. We own America, too!
JEWS AND MUSLIMS: ...dude, nobody wants that.
CHRISTIANS: Touche'. But look--we managed to bring idoltry back into our religion! We so sneaky.
JEWS: Grr. We invent metaphysical-angelic-voices-of-God-semi-idols in retaliation!
MUSLIMS: We own Gabriel. Bitchezzz.
JEWS: N00bs! Your two prophets are totally outcasts from our own, obviously superior, Holy Book.
CHRISTIANS: STFU. Esau is everything a man should be--strong, big, hairy, masculine, smelly, mindless, and a complete asshat! Ooh, let's make America that way.
MUSLIMS: STFU. Ishmael was everything a man should be--umm... the world's greatest social reject. Ooh, let's make Iraq that way.
JEWS: Wankers. We were the first.
CHRISTIANS: We have all the cool music.
MUSLIMS: We blow up a lot. And have funky beards.
ALL: STFU N00b!!!!!
GOD: Anyone who uses that many exclamation marks can't be healthy. Damn crazies. *inches away*