(no subject)
So its friday night and what am i doing? Sitting at home on the computer..me and my step dad are the only ones home.
After school i went home and lexie and i just chilled in her room and listened to music...it was fun even though we werent actually doing anything. It felt good to talk to her.
Then Carissa called and lexie and her made plans. We all went to chevys at like 6:30 and i gorged myself (i think that is virtually impossible to avoid when you are eating at chevys). We finished at around 7:30, went to Mollie Stone's, stole some sweedish fish (only the red ones) and then Carissas mom came to pick up her and my sister.
I think John was feeling bad since I had to go home and be all alone with him so he offered to take me to Block Buster, which he did but i was unsuccessful and didnt get anything.
I was mentioning how i dont have any confidence anymore. Last year i was so self assured. I flirted daily with so many people and i actually felt good abotu myself. That is completely untrue now, i have no confidence what so ever. It makes me upset to be around lex and Carissa becase of their confident, i envy that so much. They can get any guy and i feel worthy of none.
John was saying how he thought i was so pretty and how i needed to stop feeling and acting like that because its not true. Hearing that made me feel good because i knew with him it wasn't out of pity and he actually meant it. He really is nice to me.
I should be with my friends but in all honesty i dont think my mom would want me to go because she doesnt trust them. I wish she did.
I talked to Dan today. Im really upset i cant be there tomorrow when he turns 18. I think it will be months before i see him. I can't even talk to him :(. I love my brother to death.
If you want to hang out tomorrow call me because i honestly have NOTHING to do (my dad had saber cats tickets because he knows the owner of the team but uninvited me). Please call me im desperate..i really am. 389-0352
After school i went home and lexie and i just chilled in her room and listened to music...it was fun even though we werent actually doing anything. It felt good to talk to her.
Then Carissa called and lexie and her made plans. We all went to chevys at like 6:30 and i gorged myself (i think that is virtually impossible to avoid when you are eating at chevys). We finished at around 7:30, went to Mollie Stone's, stole some sweedish fish (only the red ones) and then Carissas mom came to pick up her and my sister.
I think John was feeling bad since I had to go home and be all alone with him so he offered to take me to Block Buster, which he did but i was unsuccessful and didnt get anything.
I was mentioning how i dont have any confidence anymore. Last year i was so self assured. I flirted daily with so many people and i actually felt good abotu myself. That is completely untrue now, i have no confidence what so ever. It makes me upset to be around lex and Carissa becase of their confident, i envy that so much. They can get any guy and i feel worthy of none.
John was saying how he thought i was so pretty and how i needed to stop feeling and acting like that because its not true. Hearing that made me feel good because i knew with him it wasn't out of pity and he actually meant it. He really is nice to me.
I should be with my friends but in all honesty i dont think my mom would want me to go because she doesnt trust them. I wish she did.
I talked to Dan today. Im really upset i cant be there tomorrow when he turns 18. I think it will be months before i see him. I can't even talk to him :(. I love my brother to death.
If you want to hang out tomorrow call me because i honestly have NOTHING to do (my dad had saber cats tickets because he knows the owner of the team but uninvited me). Please call me im desperate..i really am. 389-0352