a trophy of mercy is a trophy no more
100 super junior fics challenge ★
because everyone needs some challenge in their life
sucking freezies in the rain
started november 20, 2007 (technically april 15, 2008)
progress 15/100
015 lick (heechul/hankyung) hankyung
it's one night in the second week of july. he knocks on the door and i open it. "hi..." i've never seen him so lost for words before and let him in without a second thought. my hand reaches out before i know it, touches the middle of his back and ushers him inside the warm flat softly. i'm not sure what to do with him now but i want him here, i want him to stay.
"is jongwoon home?" he asks once inside. i tell him no and he doesn't look disappointed or relieved or anything. he has no facial expression but i can see turmoil spinning in his eyes.
his eyes dart around the small entry way. "is--is he supposed to be here?" i ask. he doesn't seem to hear it, slips off his shoes and slides his feet into a pair of slippers that have been here waiting for some unknown feet the moment we moved in.
he catches my glance and there must've been something written on my face because all of a sudden his eyes go wide, startled, surprised, scared.
i take a step and embrace him. i feel strange. i don't know what to do. i don't know if this was what i was supposed to do. i don't know if this is what he needs or if this is what he wanted at all. hesitantly, i give him a gentle squeeze and start to pull back from the embrace.
he seems to fall weak into my arms again, so i draw him in again and i press his head into my shoulder. i feel like i should be telling him that everything's okay, that he's going to be okay, but i don't. the silence is good. for a minute we just stand, and then it comes.
his heart pours out of him in sobs that i feel almost break him in two, come out of his eyes in warm salty tears that fall slick against my neck. i don't move, i say nothing. i rub small soothing circles into his back, i run my fingers softly through his jet black hair, i try to press strength into his thin body.
we stand for an hour. heechul cries and all i can think about is how he fits into my arms. how softly he shakes. how warm he is. how much i like him and i hardly know him. i think of the looks jongwoon gives him. i think of all the people i've met who seem to think heechul is some kind of trophy. i feel some kind of clench around my heart when i realize none of that matters as long as he's here with me.
when he stops crying he pulls back from my shoulder and looks up at me with wide, watery eyes. i could not have resisted falling in love. for a few seconds, he seems to just be searching, and then he makes a small awkward laugh that is so unlike him, it hurts. "i'm sorry, geng." he never says sorry to anyone.
he no longer looks into my eyes, looks down at the wood of the floor. he takes a step backward, and another, until he looks lost and stranded on some stage where all eyes are on him, his isolation illuminated by some unknown spotlight. he looks so lonely.
then i'm there, in front of him again, pressing him against that wall, making sure he is anything but alone. i will keep him safe. i will keep him company. i can promise forever. i draw my tongue up his cheek, lick away the salt and kiss the corners of his eyes.
"i can't," heechul whispers.
i stop, lay my body against him. "i like you so much."
he starts crying again. i wish he'd tell me what's wrong.
(i found out in the morning he had turned a year older in my arms.)
← my heart grows colder with each day ★ in the end it should be a good one →
heechul isn't a whore, i swear.
because everyone needs some challenge in their life
sucking freezies in the rain
started november 20, 2007 (technically april 15, 2008)
progress 15/100
015 lick (heechul/hankyung) hankyung
it's one night in the second week of july. he knocks on the door and i open it. "hi..." i've never seen him so lost for words before and let him in without a second thought. my hand reaches out before i know it, touches the middle of his back and ushers him inside the warm flat softly. i'm not sure what to do with him now but i want him here, i want him to stay.
"is jongwoon home?" he asks once inside. i tell him no and he doesn't look disappointed or relieved or anything. he has no facial expression but i can see turmoil spinning in his eyes.
his eyes dart around the small entry way. "is--is he supposed to be here?" i ask. he doesn't seem to hear it, slips off his shoes and slides his feet into a pair of slippers that have been here waiting for some unknown feet the moment we moved in.
he catches my glance and there must've been something written on my face because all of a sudden his eyes go wide, startled, surprised, scared.
i take a step and embrace him. i feel strange. i don't know what to do. i don't know if this was what i was supposed to do. i don't know if this is what he needs or if this is what he wanted at all. hesitantly, i give him a gentle squeeze and start to pull back from the embrace.
he seems to fall weak into my arms again, so i draw him in again and i press his head into my shoulder. i feel like i should be telling him that everything's okay, that he's going to be okay, but i don't. the silence is good. for a minute we just stand, and then it comes.
his heart pours out of him in sobs that i feel almost break him in two, come out of his eyes in warm salty tears that fall slick against my neck. i don't move, i say nothing. i rub small soothing circles into his back, i run my fingers softly through his jet black hair, i try to press strength into his thin body.
we stand for an hour. heechul cries and all i can think about is how he fits into my arms. how softly he shakes. how warm he is. how much i like him and i hardly know him. i think of the looks jongwoon gives him. i think of all the people i've met who seem to think heechul is some kind of trophy. i feel some kind of clench around my heart when i realize none of that matters as long as he's here with me.
when he stops crying he pulls back from my shoulder and looks up at me with wide, watery eyes. i could not have resisted falling in love. for a few seconds, he seems to just be searching, and then he makes a small awkward laugh that is so unlike him, it hurts. "i'm sorry, geng." he never says sorry to anyone.
he no longer looks into my eyes, looks down at the wood of the floor. he takes a step backward, and another, until he looks lost and stranded on some stage where all eyes are on him, his isolation illuminated by some unknown spotlight. he looks so lonely.
then i'm there, in front of him again, pressing him against that wall, making sure he is anything but alone. i will keep him safe. i will keep him company. i can promise forever. i draw my tongue up his cheek, lick away the salt and kiss the corners of his eyes.
"i can't," heechul whispers.
i stop, lay my body against him. "i like you so much."
he starts crying again. i wish he'd tell me what's wrong.
(i found out in the morning he had turned a year older in my arms.)
← my heart grows colder with each day ★ in the end it should be a good one →
heechul isn't a whore, i swear.