lie to me
so this weekend has been great. i completely surprised my parents and i really wanted to cry just seeing them together at dinner tonight. i've missed them a lot.
so i keep thinking about gabriel. the other night he told me he wanted to be with me and i made an inappropriate remark by saying what does that mean... of course i knew what he meant. but i just... i've made a lot of regrets when it comes to guys and relationships and i just... don't want this to be one of them. i like him a lot and i know he likes me too and he's great for me. he'll be good to me, for me. all of my friends think so too and i value their opinions the most so i know this has got to be right. i just don't want to be crying over this in a week or two. argh!!! i don't want to rush things. but i don't want to keep him waiting so long that he gives up on there being an "us." i told this to my friends and they said if i need time, then to take it, that he won't give up. that he won't give up on there being an "us." and i believe them. i miss him. even though i saw him yesterday. all i think about is getting back to him tomorrow.
earlier he called me and i told him i applied for a job at COACH b/c i saw this pink beanie that i fell in love with and i want to work there so i can make money to buy it (plus i'll get a discount on it) and he said "noo don't work there, i'll buy it for you. i'll do anything so you can stay here with me." and i said no it's ridiculous for someone to pay 150$ for a beanie! and that if anyone is going to pay money on that it should be me and i would get a discount on it. but he persisted. he said that if i like it so much, i should have it and he's going to buy it for me anyway.
and as much as i want it, i don't want him to buy it. because then i'd feel like he's trying to buy me.
god, see. i keep analyzing things.
why?
so i keep thinking about gabriel. the other night he told me he wanted to be with me and i made an inappropriate remark by saying what does that mean... of course i knew what he meant. but i just... i've made a lot of regrets when it comes to guys and relationships and i just... don't want this to be one of them. i like him a lot and i know he likes me too and he's great for me. he'll be good to me, for me. all of my friends think so too and i value their opinions the most so i know this has got to be right. i just don't want to be crying over this in a week or two. argh!!! i don't want to rush things. but i don't want to keep him waiting so long that he gives up on there being an "us." i told this to my friends and they said if i need time, then to take it, that he won't give up. that he won't give up on there being an "us." and i believe them. i miss him. even though i saw him yesterday. all i think about is getting back to him tomorrow.
earlier he called me and i told him i applied for a job at COACH b/c i saw this pink beanie that i fell in love with and i want to work there so i can make money to buy it (plus i'll get a discount on it) and he said "noo don't work there, i'll buy it for you. i'll do anything so you can stay here with me." and i said no it's ridiculous for someone to pay 150$ for a beanie! and that if anyone is going to pay money on that it should be me and i would get a discount on it. but he persisted. he said that if i like it so much, i should have it and he's going to buy it for me anyway.
and as much as i want it, i don't want him to buy it. because then i'd feel like he's trying to buy me.
god, see. i keep analyzing things.
why?