(no subject)
If I haven't said it before, or made it clear enough, lemme put it out there in unmistakable term: I hate my mom. I hate my brother. My dad was smart enough to try and patch our relationship before he died, so I don't feel as strong of a hatred towards him...I most strongly feel disappointment towards him. I hope horrible things happen to my mom and Michael. I wish my other brother, Marcus, would cut them off from his life like I have. I think he'd actually be able to start healing, like I am.
I don't feel like I'm healing though. Telia seems optimistic. I personally feel like I'm splintering. I feel like parts of myself are trying to escape.... something. Ourself, I guess. I feel so exhausted, trying to round all the parts of myself up.
I hope I get that job at Nordstrom. I'm hoping some distraction will help me immensely. I'm REALLY worried about working while I'm going through all this, though I do have a feeling it will be good for me.
I hung out with Rychek yesterday. Barley LOVES him, so I know for sure he's good people now, though I was pretty sure he was before Barley confirmed it :-) Rychek showed me some really cool drawing tricks, so I think I may take a little time to draw today... I think it might be soothing for me. Now I understand why Jon will spend hours drawing most days. Though... I can see myself getting frustrated with drawing real fast too. So, we'll see.
Here's a dog
